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Clips from Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Teacher's Pet (S01E01)

"I'd say it's nice to see you, but we'd both know that's a big fib."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I mean... you look cold."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Oh, right. Give her yourjacket."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It's a balmy night. No one needs to trade clothing!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It's a little big on me."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- What happened? - I didn't pay attention."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- To somebody with a big fork? - He's coming."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- The fork guy? - Don't let him corner you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Don't give him a moment's mercy."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Ripping a throat out is a strong visual. It's not cryptic."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I have to go."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Sweet dreams to you, too."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"That's all he said? Fork guy?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"That's all Cryptic Guy said - fork guy."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"God, every day here is the same."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Bright, sunny, beautiful. How ever can we escape this torment?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Really! Morning. - Morning."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Ergo, those of us who blew off our homework aren't so dumb."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Something about... missing."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- He's missing? - Well, let me think."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"The cheerleaders were modelling their new skirts. I kinda got... Yeah, they said missing."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Which is bad? - If something's wrong, yeah."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"He's one of the only teachers that doesn't think Buffy's a felon."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm really sorry. I'm sure he'II..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Uh... yes."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Oh, it's um..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I go there every day."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Oh, God, where is it?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It's not far from the varsity field where I took all-city."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"What's wrong?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"If Dr Gregory dropped his glasses, why wouldn't he pick them up?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"My name is Natalie French. I'll be substituting for Dr Gregory."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Do you know when he's coming back? - No, I don't, um... Buffy."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- They just tell me where they want me. - I'll tell you where I want you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Excuse me, Blayne?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Uh, I was just wondering if you were gonna pick up where Dr Gregory left off."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Yes. His notes tell me you were right in the middle of insect life."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"The praying mantis is a fascinating creature, forced to live alone."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Who can tell me why?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Buffy?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"The words bug-ugly spring to mind."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"There is nothing ugly about these unique creatures."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Well, it's hardly their fault. It's the way nature designed them."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Noble, solitary and prolific."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Over 1800 species worldwide."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"And in nearly all of them the female is larger and more aggressive than the male."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Once he's played his part, she covers the eggs in a protective sac"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"and attaches it to a leaf or twig out of danger."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Now, if she's done herjob correctly,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"in a few months she'll have several hundred offspring."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You know, we should make some model egg sacs for the science fair."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Who would like to help me after school?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Good."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Hot Dog Surprise. Be still, my heart."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Oh, I understand. - Good."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"A younger man is too dumb to wonder why she can't find a man her own age"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"and won't notice the surgical improvements."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- What surgical improvements? - Well, he is young."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"And so terribly innocent."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Hey, those that can, do. Those that can't, laugh at those who can do."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Gotta carb up for my one-on-one with Miss French. When's yours?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Oh, right. Tomorrow. You came in second. I came in first."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Guess it's what they call a rehearsal. Rehearsal."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Excuse you!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Medically prescribed lunch. I'll only be here as long as I can hold my breath."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"His head! His head! Oh, my God! Where's his head?!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Here."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Drink this."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I've never seen... I mean, I've never seen anything like... That was new."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Who would want to hurt Dr Gregory?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I liked him."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"So did I."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"We're gonna find out who did this. We'll find them and stop them."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Count on it. - What do we know?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Not a lot. He was killed on campus, I'm guessing the last day we saw him."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- How do you work that out? - He didn't change his clothing."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Where did they put his head?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Good point. I didn't want to hear that."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Angel. He warned me that something was coming."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Yes. Yes, he did, didn't he? I wish I knew what he meant."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I've been trying to gather more information about the Master, our local vampire king."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Cut off his hand and replaced it with a fork? - I don't know."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- So why would he come after a teacher? - I'm not certain he did."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"There was an incident two nights ago"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"involving a homeless person in Weatherly Park."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"He was practically shredded, but nothing like Dr Gregory."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Fork Guy doesn't do heads? - Not historically."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Dr Gregory's blood wasn't drained."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"So there's something else out there besides Silverware Man?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Oh, this is fun. We're on Monster Island."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"We're on a Hellmouth. It's a centre of mystical convergence."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Guess it's the same thing."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Unpleasant things do gravitate here."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Where was that guy killed? Weatherly Park? - Buffy, I know you're upset,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"but this is no time to go hunting. Promise me you won't do anything rash."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Cross my heart."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Shouldn't be out here at night, little lady. It's dangerous."
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"Hold it! Police!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- You went hunting last night? - Yes."
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"- When you assured me you wouldn't? - Yes, I lied. I'm a bad person. Let's move on."
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"- Did you see someone with a fork? - More like ajumbo claw."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Oh."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"At least you're not hurt."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Oh? - Do you know Miss French?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- The teacher that's subbing for Dr Gregory? - Yes. She's lovely."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"In a common, extremely well-proportioned way."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm chasing Claw Guy and Miss Well-Proportioned is heading home."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Claw Guy sees her and runs screaming for cover."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- He what? Ran away? - He was petrified."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Of Miss French?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Not many, and not substitute teachers, as a rule."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- So what's her deal? - It'd be a good idea to keep an eye on her."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You were there. You saw Dr Gregory, didn't you?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You mean yesterday when we found him..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Don't say dead or decapitated. Stay away from D-words altogether."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Extremely late. You have to see a counsellor."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Everyone who saw the body must see one. - I really don't..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I believe if we all reach out to one another, we can beat this thing."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm here if you need a hug. Not a real hug, because there's no touching here."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- We're sensitive to wrong touching. - But I..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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