Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Seinfeld - The Checks (S08E08)

"Oh, no, no, no. Not the Sunshine Carpet Cleaners?"
Seinfeld
"-Yeah. You heard of them? -They're a crazy religious cult."
Seinfeld
"The carpet cleaning is just a means for them to get into your apartment."
Seinfeld
"I do it. I'm not even getting the cleaning."
Seinfeld
"I signed over 1 00 checks this morning."
Seinfeld
"Would you take a picture, please."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah. Sure."
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna ask this guy something."
Seinfeld
"Hey, nice twirl you got there."
Seinfeld
"You know who invented that, don't you?"
Seinfeld
"That's the funny face that greets you..."
Seinfeld
"...at the beginning of The Super Terrific Happy Hour."
Seinfeld
"-Oh, Super Terrific! -Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, huh? Yeah, that's him."
Seinfeld
"What is he doing?"
Seinfeld
"-That's funny. -Oh, yeah, very funny."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, that's it. Because everybody laughs at Jerry here in America."
Seinfeld
"We're pretty much finished."
Seinfeld
"There's just one more thing."
Seinfeld
"Here it comes."
Seinfeld
"You forgot to sign your check."
Seinfeld
"Sorry."
Seinfeld
"You sure there isn't anything else?"
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"So that's it?"
Seinfeld
"-Unless you need a receipt. -I wish that was all I needed."
Seinfeld
"Life can be so confusing."
Seinfeld
"I'm searching for answers anywhere."
Seinfeld
"Hey."
Seinfeld
"What's with the claw?"
Seinfeld
"Super-terrific carpal tunnel syndrome."
Seinfeld
"-There's no sign of Kramer. -Oh, Brett."
Seinfeld
"That's very funny. Elaine told me you're some kind of comedian."
Seinfeld
"-Fleckman. -Farbman."
Seinfeld
"Right."
Seinfeld
"-You gotta see them. They're beautiful. -I'm sure they are."
Seinfeld
"I'd be happy to get you some, if that's what you're driving at."
Seinfeld
"-No, I'm fine. Thank you. -Don't worry. It's no charge to you."
Seinfeld
"Looks like what you really need is a decent desk for writing your skits."
Seinfeld
"I don't write skits."
Seinfeld
"Of course you don't. You don't have a proper workstation."
Seinfeld
"I'll fax over my catalog."
Seinfeld
"Brett, Jerry doesn't have a fax machine."
Seinfeld
"I'm sure things will pick up for you soon."
Seinfeld
"Elaine, maybe we should get going."
Seinfeld
"-Wanna join us? -Where you going, the coffee shop?"
Seinfeld
"The coffee shop? I think we can do a little better than that."
Seinfeld
"You look like you could use a solid meal at a real restaurant."
Seinfeld
"Three hundred dollars."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Mr. Oh, how much would these run you in Tokyo?"
Seinfeld
"Those are 30,000 yen."
Seinfeld
"Thirty thousand?"
Seinfeld
"Well, these are practically free."
Seinfeld
"Giddyup. You're a cowboy now."
Seinfeld
"I feel terrible about your friend Jerry."
Seinfeld
"Why do you think he's upset?"
Seinfeld
"Well, how could he not be? Living in that cramped little apartment..."
Seinfeld
"...that outdated furniture, so terribly un-Karl-Farbman-like."
Seinfeld
"We're not gonna talk about Karl Farbman all night, are we?"
Seinfeld
"Elaine, the song."
Seinfeld
"For a minute, I thought it was that urban legend..."
Seinfeld
"Elaine, could you just not talk for one minute?"
Seinfeld
"Sorry."
Seinfeld
"-No spiel? -Not a peep."
Seinfeld
"They call themselves a cult."
Seinfeld
"So you're angry that this bizarre carpet cabal..."
Seinfeld
"...made no attempt to abduct you?"
Seinfeld
"-Please. -Too dumb?"
Seinfeld
"Well, Mackie's back in town. Nice duds."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, it's a gift from my Japanese friends."
Seinfeld
"They're known as gift-givers."
Seinfeld
"And tonight, we're going dancing at the Rainbow Room."
Seinfeld
"Well, Jerry, they're Japanese."
Seinfeld
"I mean, that TV you watch, that sushi you eat..."
Seinfeld
"...even that kimono you wear..."
Seinfeld
"...where do you think all that money goes?"
Seinfeld
"That's right."
Seinfeld
"How'd you hook up with these guys?"
Seinfeld
"They recognized Jerry from The Super Terrific Happy Hour."
Seinfeld
"What kind of show am I gonna do in Japan?"
Seinfeld
"What did you do with that pilot you did?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, the pilot."
Seinfeld
"Right. That had marvelous production values."
Seinfeld
"They broadcast a lot of American baseball."
Seinfeld
"They got an office here in New York."
Seinfeld
"Forget it. The pilot was awful. It failed."
Seinfeld
"...all you see is four morons sitting around an apartment..."
Seinfeld
"...whining about their dates."
Seinfeld
"See, George is right, Jerry. See, here you're just another apple."
Seinfeld
"But in Japan, you're an exotic fruit, like an orange, which is rare there."
Seinfeld
"You had a date?"
Seinfeld
"You went out with my butler? Who said you could go out with my butler?"
Seinfeld
"-Why do I need your permission? -Because he's my butler."
Seinfeld
"So, what do you think?"
Seinfeld
"We're a bit confused."
Seinfeld
"Why was this man Jerry's butler?"
Seinfeld
"You see, the man who is the butler..."
Seinfeld
"...had gotten into a car accident with Jerry."
Seinfeld
"And because he didn't have any insurance..."
Seinfeld
"...the judge decreed that the man become Jerry's butler."
Seinfeld
"Is this customary in your legal system?"
Seinfeld
"No. That's what makes it such a humorous situation."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry. I'm sure Mr. Seinfeld is very funny to Americans."
Seinfeld
"But I'm not sure this butler show would work in Japan."
Seinfeld
"Oh, l-- I disagree."
Seinfeld
"You've-- You've been living in America too long."
Seinfeld
"You've forgotten what it's like to have no oranges."
Seinfeld
"Sorry. My hand is numb."
Seinfeld
"Yes, from endorsing checks for The Super Terrific Happy Hour."
Seinfeld
"You must go."
Seinfeld
"Well, I think I'm on the outs with Brett."
Seinfeld
"What does he listen to, the all Desperado station?"
Seinfeld
"He is just in his own world when he hears that song."
Seinfeld
"It's like I'm sitting there in the car, and he's out riding fences."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, you're right. We need to find our song."
Seinfeld
"Okay. So is there any song that you feel very strongly about?"
Seinfeld
"-Witchy Woman? -You know, Witchy Woman."
Seinfeld
"Oh, Witchy Woman."
Seinfeld
"-Hey, Elaine. -Hey."
Seinfeld
"Well, we-- We had to leave early."
Seinfeld
Show more clips