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Clips from Married with Children - The House That Peg Lost (S03E03)

"But, you see, this is real important."
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"and I really want to wow them."
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"If you really want to wow them,"
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"why don't you just tell them"
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"that your daughter weighs 47 pounds?"
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"Boy, Mommy just wants to have a little fun,"
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"and all you kids can think about are your empty little stomachs."
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"Now, go forage in the freezer,"
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"and let Mommy be happy."
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"Hi, Peg."
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"What's the occasion?"
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"Oprah having a formal episode?"
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"Al,"
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"Not since I said, "I do.""
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"and put me down."
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"That was a show of affection."
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"Tomorrow night, we're going to our high school reunion,"
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"and I want us to look nice,"
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"ask me questions that I can't answer,"
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"And the ever-painful "How they hanging?""
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"Now, listen, Al, you promised you'd take me"
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"the night you didn't take me to our senior prom."
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"we had a great time that night, didn't we?"
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"Watching sports on TV at my father's house."
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"You drank all the beer."
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"I said, "I love you.""
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"You said, "Shut up, I can't hear the game.""
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"You were quite a tiger that night, Al."
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"Yeah, well, who ever thought"
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"Let's see. It's..."
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"It's the one we froze till they found a cure"
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"for whatever was killing him."
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"Bud, you were only 5 then,"
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"so we didn't tell you,"
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"but, um,"
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"what was killing him"
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"was that we didn't feed him."
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"Dibs on the head."
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"I get the head."
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"and we'll say next time I get a pet,"
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"you can let him starve to death."
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"Ahh."
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"He lived in my room."
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"So does fungus."
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"Where do you draw the line?"
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"At a fish I was proud to call my friend."
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"Hey,"
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"let's go outside and throw him in front of a car."
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"Maybe we can get some insurance money."
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"I'm glad they're gone."
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"They were depressing me, Al."
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"So, honey, there is no way"
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"This year,"
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"they're going to elect a queen for the reunion."
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"Now, I gave up being queen of our prom for you."
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"Don't you think"
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"it's time you gave up something for me?"
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"Well, I guess a little thing like my life"
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"is meaningless, huh?"
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"Oh, honey, I never wanted your life."
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"But being reunion queen is important to me,"
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"and I just know I can win."
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"The only competition I have to worry about"
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"is that Connie Bender."
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"Yeah, Connie Bender."
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"I remember her."
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"I remember her father had a great coat."
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"You're trying to make me mad at you"
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"so I'll tell you to stay home."
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"Well, it didn't work at our wedding,"
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"and it's not gonna work now."
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"A million cars on the road,"
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"and you toss Freddy"
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"in front of an uninsured motorist."
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"Well, Kelly,"
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"we would have had 50 bucks."
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"Yeah, well, just don't give me any of that,"
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""Don't eat him, it's Stanley,""
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"because if it moves, it's dinner."
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"Well, it's obvious"
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"the kids have upstairs covered."
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"What's my dinner, Peg?"
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"Furnace scrapings du jour?"
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"Don't I do enough as wife and mother?"
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"[DOORBELL RINGS]"
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"[LAUGHS]"
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"Doggy see, doggy do."
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"Oh, that is such a beautiful dress."
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"but my husband didn't think we could afford it."
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"Oh, Al."
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"another month in debtor's prison?"
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"I'm going to be reunion queen!"
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"[GASPS]"
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"That's so exciting."
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"But if you're going to be queen,"
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"You have to accessorize properly."
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"if you'd be willing"
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"to bounce a check for another $200."
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"So, Al,"
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"what are you up for,"
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"the coveted "Cartwheeling to the Grave" award?"
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"Okay, everybody,"
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"I rule this house."
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"I rot within its walls,"
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"And my decision is,"
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"save that dress for my funeral,"
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"because we're not, no chance, no way, no how,"
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"Oh, Peggy. Queen!"
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"I'm so happy for you."
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"So, what will you be wearing, Al?"
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"The royal leash?"
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"I don't understand."
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"I mean, the father's the boss, isn't he?"
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"Fred MacMurray got some respect."
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"Even Fred Flintstone had his day once or twice."
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"I'm not the man Fred Flintstone is?"
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"Well, he had a better job than you do."
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"Oh, come on, Al."
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"Reunions are fun."
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"Every now and then,"
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