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Clips from The Mick - The Master (S01E01)

"you know, when you touch it."
The Mick
"- Ooh! - Uh, you know, I could,"
The Mick
"I could hold off, I could hold off for a minute."
The Mick
"Maybe you should hold off a minute."
The Mick
"- Believe this guy? - Okay, okay."
The Mick
"(laughs)"
The Mick
"Hey, can I tell you a secret?"
The Mick
"Okay. Here's my secret."
The Mick
"Okay."
The Mick
"But I like you. I think there's something sweet about you."
The Mick
"And so I want to take it slow. Okay?"
The Mick
"Okay. Yeah. Slow, slow... Okay."
The Mick
"- (laughing): You don't need that. - Yeah. No, I do, I do, yes."
The Mick
"Slow is good. Slow is really..."
The Mick
"- Why don't you have a seat? - Yeah! Yeah."
The Mick
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take this."
The Mick
"Um... I'll take this guy."
The Mick
"Mickey, I like you."
The Mick
"And... and I want to let you know that"
The Mick
"I'm... I'm going away for a bit."
The Mick
"I'm, I'm going to America's Cup."
The Mick
"It's a sailing race."
The Mick
"Yeah. Look, I leave in three days."
The Mick
"- I'm gonna be gone for a couple months. - Okay."
The Mick
"Okay. Okay."
The Mick
"Yeah. Um..."
The Mick
"Me, too."
The Mick
"Should I get you some water?"
The Mick
"Mm-mm!"
The Mick
"- All right, I'm gonna get you some water. - It's good. No, no, no!"
The Mick
"- No. All's good. - Yeah?"
The Mick
"You know what? I'm just gonna take a quick mosey around,"
The Mick
"I'll be back in one second."
The Mick
"- It's actually inside. - Uh..."
The Mick
"(screams, water splashes)"
The Mick
"- Oh, my God. - (screams)"
The Mick
"Mickey, are you okay?"
The Mick
"Oh, you guys."
The Mick
"I made a real ass out of myself."
The Mick
"And he's leaving in three days."
The Mick
"You cannot got back to Jimmy"
The Mick
"- and his smells. - I can't wait"
The Mick
"till Mom and Dad get back home so I don't have to listen"
The Mick
"to these inane conversations anymore."
The Mick
"Hey, guys, come on. We got to stick together."
The Mick
"I know this is a really tough situation."
The Mick
"It's not a tough situation. It's very straightforward."
The Mick
"They're not coming back. Okay? (scoffs)"
The Mick
"You know what? I'm moving into their bedroom."
The Mick
"- No frickin' way. - Well, hold... hold on."
The Mick
"(laugh) Oh. Obviously not. Your bedroom is gross."
The Mick
"I'm taking the master."
The Mick
"I thought I was in the master."
The Mick
"This is the master."
The Mick
"MICKEY: What?! Where has this been?"
The Mick
"SABRINA: Well, maybe you should broaden your horizons"
The Mick
"beyond your bedroom and the refrigerator."
The Mick
"Oh, I'm-a rip Teddy to shreds in here."
The Mick
"Nobody's ripping anybody to shreds in here."
The Mick
"Or what? You'll tell Mom?"
The Mick
"I'll take them off for you."
The Mick
"Why don't I just tell Mom myself? Hey, Mom?"
The Mick
"I'm getting mud all over your carpet. Do you mind?"
The Mick
"Oh. Guess not."
The Mick
"Don't even look at it. You're playing a dangerous game, woman."
The Mick
"Oh, is Little Orphan Annie getting mad?"
The Mick
"Oh, oh."
The Mick
"Okay. Okay. Okay. Everybody relax."
The Mick
"(dramatic music playing on tablet)"
The Mick
"(woman screaming)"
The Mick
"I've had about enough of this."
The Mick
"You guys are trespassing."
The Mick
"You know what? He's got a good point."
The Mick
"You guys are trespassing. Please go."
The Mick
"Yeah. That's cute. I'm the oldest Pemberton."
The Mick
"Well, I'm your leader. So this room is mine."
The Mick
"Yeah. Well, I'm the man of the house,"
The Mick
"and I say no one gets it."
The Mick
"You already have a room."
The Mick
"Hmm, my room sucks. I'm gonna take this one."
The Mick
"Well, Mom and Dad are coming home, and I can prove it."
The Mick
""Well, Mom and Dad are coming home, and I can prove it.""
The Mick
"What are you talking about?"
The Mick
"I record all my phone calls."
The Mick
"What?"
The Mick
"Creepy."
The Mick
"Is it? Is it creepy"
The Mick
"to be ahead of everybody at all times?"
The Mick
"- Yeah. - Definitely."
The Mick
"No."
The Mick
"Okay."
The Mick
"More time than you've spent on anything in your life."
The Mick
"First, we will listen to this call as a group."
The Mick
"- that we hear. - Oh, my God. Just play it."
The Mick
"CHIP: If I don't get that sports channel bundle,"
The Mick
"- I'm suing your family... - Okay. All right."
The Mick
"All right, that's different. That's different."
The Mick
"Let's refocus."
The Mick
"Okay?"
The Mick
"- SABRINA: Mom? - MICKEY: Poodle."
The Mick
"CHIP: Dad."
The Mick
"- CHRISTOPHER: I will... - CHIP: Hey, Dad, can you hear me?"
The Mick
"CHRISTOPHER: Please tell Fernando we..."
The Mick
"CHIP: Daddy! Mother!"
The Mick
"SABRINA: Chip, shut up."
The Mick
"We can't hear them."
The Mick
"POODLE: It's... go bag in the..."
The Mick
"Okay."
The Mick
"So what did we hear?"
The Mick
"I heard the honk of a goose."
The Mick
"I think it was the honk of a horn."
The Mick
"There was a goose honk and a foghorn."
The Mick
"Also, the words "Fernando," "plane," and "go-bag.""
The Mick
"Now, I did some research, and most of the world's"
The Mick
"major ports with native geese are in South America,"
The Mick
"which lines up with Fernando."
The Mick
"And where did Mom and Dad go on their honeymoon?"
The Mick
"Chile."
The Mick
"So you think Mom and Dad are in Chile?"
The Mick
"But between go-bags and plane,"
The Mick
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