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Clips from The Simpsons - Faith Off (S11E11)

"Oh, this is gonna be so great."
The Simpsons
"All right, now age the picture five years. That's him."
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"## [ Humming ]"
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"Oh, real original. Who did this?"
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"- Kappa Gamma Tau. - Last in grades, first in pranks."
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"Oh, that's it. You're through, Dean."
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"Now who's the dean?"
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"Sorry, Dad. It just won't budge."
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"Well, couldn't you try a nondelicious fat?"
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"[ Sobbing ] Oh, there's no such thing."
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"So he's stuck like this forever?"
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"Oh, now don't fret. These days the victims of comedy traumas, or ''traumadies''..."
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"can still lead rich, full lives."
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"[ Growling ]"
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"Hi."
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"What guys? I want to see the freaks."
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"Okay, hang on, Homer. Two eye holes coming up."
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"- What? I can see fine. - [ Horns Honking ]"
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"- Do you want to be saved? - Yes!"
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"Now correct me if I'm incorrect..."
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"but was I told that it's untrue that people in Springfield have no faith?"
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"- Was I not misinformed? - Well, I don't know-"
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"- The answer I'm looking for is yes. - Yes!"
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"# Now let's hear it for the Holy Spirit #"
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"# No need to fear it #"
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"so it goes in the ''opposited'' direction."
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"- [ Shouting ] - Hallelujah. Hallelujah."
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"What affliction ''be-plagues'' you, my friend?"
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"- [ Mumbling ] - Come again?"
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"He paralyzed his vocal cords cramming too many ''K'' sounds into a punch line."
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"Oh, mercy. Well, I'm not sure there's anything I can do for- Feel the power!"
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"- [ Gagging ] - Release this clown!"
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"Have you gone completely fakakta?"
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"Hey, I got my comedy K's back."
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"King Kong coldcocked Kato Kaelin."
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"Wow. Is there anything he can't do?"
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"Brother, I sense you are feeling trapped and desperate."
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"Yeah. And I got a bucket on my head."
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"This golden-haired little boy."
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"Son, lay hands upon your father's burdensome bucket."
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"- I have the power. - Oh, say it like you mean it, boy."
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"I see the light. It burns."
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"Hallelujah! Behold. This child has the power."
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"Uh, miracle boy."
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"I believe I had hair. Oh, here they are. [ Grunts ]"
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"Ah, you two were great tonight. You didn't bite me or anything."
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"I gotta know. How did you really get the bucket off my dad's head?"
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"Well, I didn't, son. You did. God gave you the power."
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"Really? Hmm. I would think he would want to limit my power."
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"[ Chuckles ] Oh, yes, Lord."
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"My slingshot was my cross. But I saw the light and changed my wicked ways."
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"I figure I'll go for the life of sin..."
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"followed by the presto-change-o deathbed repentance."
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"But that's not God's angle."
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"Why not spend your life helping people instead?"
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"Then you're also covered in case of sudden death."
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"Full coverage? Hmm."
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"Can you heal me? I can't breathe good and it makes me sleepy."
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"I'll give it a whirl, Ralphie boy."
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"- My milk money. And my milk. - Ew!"
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"- You did it, Bart. - He really does have the power."
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"Go forth and spread the word."
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"- Spread it! - [ All Screaming ]"
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"Number of miracles performed by Bart, two. Number performed by Lisa, zero."
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"How can you believe all this mumbo jumbo?"
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"The bucket came off Dad's head because the bright lights heated it..."
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"Heat makes metal expand. Now who's talking mumbo jumbo?"
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"Mmm!"
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"I can't come up with an idea for my homecoming float. Do it for me."
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"Yeah, you're right."
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"- I think Godzilla's bigger than Superman. - [ Scoffs ] It's not to scale."
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"In his letter to the Corinthians..."
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"to the Thessalonians and the Ephesians."
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"I got two words for this sermon. [ Snores, Whistles ]"
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"Am I boring you, Bart?"
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"No, really. It can be a crazy party with clouds and lasers and miracles."
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"- And chili fries. - A real preacher knows how to bring the Bible alive..."
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"through music and dancing and Tae Bo."
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"- ## [ Beatboxing ] - [ All Cheering ]"
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"Never give them an opening."
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"- [ Coughs ] - Mmm. Maybe we should air it out a little."
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"Ahh."
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"##[ Organ ]"
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"- ##[ Ends ] - Okay, Springfield."
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"#Took a whiz on the school computer #"
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"# He took a whiz Oh, yes, he did #"
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"# Come on up and testify #"
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"- #Testify # - #Testify #"
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"Perhaps it's time to fight razzle with dazzle."
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"- ## [ Off-key ] - # Mi-#"
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"- Is he killing that guitar, Daddy? - Yes, Son."
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"#Bart's the boy of the hour #"
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"- # fy # - # Testify, testify #"
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"# Come on up and testify ##"
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"#Thank you, Bart, for fixing my vision #"
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"# Now I see with total precision #"
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"Song's over, Milhouse. But you're welcome."
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"## [ Humming ]"
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"Nice doggie."
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"- [ Tires Squealing ] - [ Thud ]"
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"- Milhouse! - Bury me at Make Out Creek. [ Groans ]"
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"- Well, I don't think I can. - Please. This cast is real itchy."
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"And I tried to scratch and the fork got stuck in there."
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"- And I think there was some food on the fork. - Ew."
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"Okay. I'll see what I can do. Heal. Heal."
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"- [ Flatline Tone ] - [ Gasps ]"
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"- Oh, it always does that. - [ Beeping ]"
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"Could you tell my mom I'm here?"
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"Big game fever is reaching a fevered pitch..."
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"Th-This is writing?"
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"In preparation for the big game..."
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"Springfield Stadium has caught additional seating capacity fever. [ Grunts ]"
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"Whoo-hoo. Go, S.U.!"
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"A&M is gonna kick your ivy-covered butts."
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"Yeah? Well, you went to a cow college."
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"Oh, you're only calling us a cow college 'cause we were founded by a cow."
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"Welcome to the 1 1 7 th dust up between the Snortin' Swine of Springfield A&M..."
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"and the Springfield University Nittany Tide."
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"Oh, Doctor! Break out the hickory switch."
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"Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?"
The Simpsons
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