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Clips from The Simpsons - Faith Off (S11E11)

"[ Chorus ] # The Simpsons #"
The Simpsons
"D'oh! [ Screams ]"
The Simpsons
"Oh. There's a homecoming parade, a cocktail party."
The Simpsons
"I hate Springfield U so much."
The Simpsons
"- Mmm. Mmm. - Mmm. Mmm."
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"Or a ski hat if you've got a picture of a girl."
The Simpsons
"[ All Laughing ]"
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"My old roommates, the nerds. Ah. You working?"
The Simpsons
"Oh, my, yes. I'm on a secret project that I'm not at liberty to divulge. Cyborgs."
The Simpsons
"I invented a program that downloads porn off the Internet one million times faster."
The Simpsons
"Does anybody need that much porno?"
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"Now let's give a warm alumni welcome, uh, you know, clapping..."
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"- [ Applauding ] - Yes. Thank you, Anton."
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"Professor Rocko, Chancellor Knuckles?"
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"I'm beginning to think this alumni party was just a ruse to get our money."
The Simpsons
"That dean is gonna get an indignant e-mail."
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"You should do it with bold red letters."
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"My computer has 51 2 shades of red."
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"- ## [ Humming ] - [ Giggles ]"
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"I think I know that guy. He ran over the dean five years ago. Punch up that picture."
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"this bucket of super glue is gonna drop right on his head."
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"Hmm. I'm afraid it's hopeless."
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"Beneath that bucket, he's more glue than man."
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"[ Laughing ]"
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"Uh, sorry. But these guys crack me up."
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"- [ Tires Squealing ] - Homer, maybe I should drive."
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"[ Homer] That had nothing to do with the bucket."
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"Oh. Where are we?"
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"- Mmm. Can you feel the power? - [ All ] Yes!"
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"- Take that, Satan. - Praise the Lord."
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"Hey, you gentiles are all right. [ Kisses ]"
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"[ Grunting ]"
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"I'm gonna need a holy helper."
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"- Someone who believes. - No."
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"Okay, moving on. I need someone with the power."
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"Now proclaim, ''I have the power.''"
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"I... have... the power."
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"[ All Shouting ]"
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"- [ Rattling ] - Oh, how's that little rattle doing? [ Chuckles ]"
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"Excuse me, Brother Faith."
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"Wow. That's a good angle."
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"Then I said, ''I have the power.'' And the bucket came off."
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"Bart, I hope you don't believe your own hype."
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"causing the metal to expand."
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"What have you got so far?"
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"Look at Moe dance. #Aloha, Moe #"
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"Paul instructed them to send 1 0 copies..."
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"Well, to be honest, yes."
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"- But church can be fun. - [ All Laughing ]"
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"He's kicking it old-school."
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"[ Grunting ]"
The Simpsons
"That exterminator tent will be perfect for your revival meeting."
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"## [ Whistling ]"
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"Uh, yeah. I-I couldn't help but notice you picked pretty much all of my flowers."
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"- Can't make a float without flowers. - Oh, true enough."
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"But, uh, did you have to salt the earth so nothing would ever grow again?"
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"[ Chuckles ] Yeah."
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"Then put your souls together for Brother... Bart."
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"# Neighbor's cat I tried to neuter #"
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"# But now I've changed You can't deny #"
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"- Hey. - # Got a nicotine craving #"
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"- #Testify # - #Testify #"
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"- # Michael, row- row- Row the boat # - [ Feedback ]"
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"#We'll see you at Make Out Creek #"
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"# He's got the power #"
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"Oh, Milhouse, this is my fault. I'm so sorry."
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"That's okay. You can just heal me again, right?"
The Simpsons
"as the fevered rivalry between Springfield U and Springfield A&M spreads like wild fever-"
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"I'm sorry, Uncle Kent. I lost my thesaurus."
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"Thesaurus. You'll lose more than that-"
The Simpsons
"- [ Sizzling ] - Okay, who needs another lamb rack?"
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"Lisa? Ham hock? Tri-tip?"
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"Well, I think the veal might have died of loneliness."
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"Oh, Land O'Lakes, take that ozone layer."
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"- What a glorious day to be that man's foot. - [ Kiss ]"
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"-[ Gunshot ] - Ladies and gentlemen, pour a little cider on those peepers..."
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"the players return to the field."
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"Just a simple yes or no."
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"Oh, I only wanted to show my school spirit."
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"- Well, he'd better. Or else- - Or else what?"
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"[ Clears Throat ]"
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"But you can always fall back on your degree in... Communications?"
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"Lubchenko learn nothing. Nothing."
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"Bart, do your thing."
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"[ Gulp ] Okay, God. If you did give me a power, let it work now."
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"- [ Grunts ] - [ Cheering ]"
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"## [ Hums: Heavy Metal ]"
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"- As long as I have Bart's healing powers. - Why won't anybody listen to me?"
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"- [ Murmuring ] - Shh!"
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"[ Whistle Blowing ]"
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"[ Beeping ]"
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"## [Jazzy Solo ]"
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"[ Beeping ]"
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"Oh, Doctor, I'm crazy. [ Sobbing ]"
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"Bill. Bill. Ooh. ''Llib.'' Wait a minute. Bill. Huh?"
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"Springfield University homecoming?"
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"Remember my love affair with Ali MacGraw? She used to call me ''Preppie.'' Then she died."
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"Then the big game between Springfield U and Springfield A&M."
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"- You went to Springfield U. You hate A&M. - So much."
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"Marge - Let's matriculate. - [ Giggling ]"
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"You college boys are only interested in one thing."
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"Whoa. You're supposed to hang your necktie on the doorknob if you got a girl in the room."
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"Oh. One million times."
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"Yeah. So because of me, all the dorms now have security phones."
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"- [ Scoffs ] - [ Glass Tapping ]"
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"to Springfield U's all-American placekicker, Anton Lubchenko."
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"[ Applauding, Cheering ]"
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"In home country, growing up in filth, Lubchenko dreams to play U.S.A. football."
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"- On my father's deathbed, he made me promise- - [ Clears Throat ]"
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"Long story short. Go, Springfield U!"
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"Now, folks, a 7-5 football season doesn't come cheap..."
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"- and this is a fund-raiser. - [ Screams ]"
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"Seal the exits."
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"Thank you. Thank you. Come on, hurry up."
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"- All right now, let's empty our pockets. - Make me."
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"Wait- I- [ Laughing ] Okay."
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"[ Laughing Continues ] All right. Okay."
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"Get every dime. The Whifflesnops need new cummerbunds."
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"Have you nerds forgotten everything I taught you?"
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"This calls for a prank. I see... a bucket."
The Simpsons
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