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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Vartabedian Conundrum (S02E02)

"- Mm-hm. Ha, ha. - I haven't heard a thing about you."
The Big Bang Theory
"...and comes into your apartment in the morning in her underwear?"
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"Um. Uh--"
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"She's heard about you because we're, you know, involved..."
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"...and you haven't heard about her because...."
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"I never slept with her, I swear."
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"- Thank you, Sheldon. - You're welcome, Leonard."
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"And in our building, neighbors come and go."
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"Well, it's very casual. No dress code or...."
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"Some mornings, I'll mosey down to the third floor in my pajamas..."
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"...and have cereal with Mrs. Vartabedian."
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"- Well, you have a gall bladder to remove. - Yeah."
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"And I have to get in the shower and Penny has clothes to put on, so...."
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"- Well, it was very nice meeting you. - Nice to finally meet you too."
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"So that's Stephanie, huh?"
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"Why do I feel like I'm the one that just got the prostate exam?"
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"- You know, she seems very nice. - Oh, she is. She's terrific."
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"And she's proving to be a valuable roommate."
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"- Roommate? You guys are living together? - Like hippies."
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"We're not living together."
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"We're not living together."
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"Well, let's find out."
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"Don't you think if a woman was living with me, I'd be the first one to know?"
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"Cute dresses."
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"I bet this looks great on you."
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"Scented candles, fuzzy slippers. Ooh."
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"Floral bed sheets."
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"Uh, who are these guys at Disney World?"
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"The big dog is Goofy."
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"And the older couple with the mouse ears, I have no idea."
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"All right. Well, we got your body lotion, your In Style magazine, your jewelry box."
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"We're not-- Where's my Bat-Signal?"
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"It was right here."
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"Oh, my God, we're living together."
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"Really? What was your first clue?"
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"Actually, I think it's more of a wool-fire ant blend."
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"The girlfriend's buying clothes for you, huh? Sounds serious."
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"It is, actually. In fact, I gave it a lot of thought..."
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"...and I decided it was time for us to live together."
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"Oh, Leonard, huge mistake."
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"There's a whole buffet of women out there and you're just standing in the corner..."
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"...eating the same deviled egg, over and over again."
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"At least I have an egg. What do you have?"
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"A veritable smorgasbord of potential sexual partners."
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"So go hit on her."
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"She's not my type."
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"Too bad. She was checking you out before."
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"- She was? - Of course not. Look at her."
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"I will give either of you $20 right now to trade pants with me."
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"130/80. That's a little high."
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"My Aunt Marion gave them to me for my 12th birthday."
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"She thought if I failed at theoretical physics that I should have a trade to fall back on."
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"- Thank you. - Didn't teach you that in medical school?"
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"Ha. A cardiac stress test, a full-body MRI, an electromyogram..."
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"...a CBC, baseline glucose, upper GI?"
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"Oh, and exploratory laparoscopy. The last time I had hiccups..."
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"Go home, Sheldon."
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"Can I at least have the upper GI?"
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"I already drank the barium."
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"Oh, hey."
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"Yeah, sure."
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"What are you washing, a crocodile?"
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"No. The pants that Stephanie got me."
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"Oh, sweetie, you can't machine wash these. They'll be ruined."
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"- Are you guys having problems? - No. Everything's fine."
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"Okay, maybe this whole living together happened..."
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"...kind of suddenly, but it's fine, it's great."
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"Okay, Leonard, if you're uncomfortable with the way things are going..."
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"Are you sure? That doesn't sound right."
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"Believe me, your feelings are just as important as hers."
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"Tell her you need the relationship to move at a pace you both are comfortable with."
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"You have a really good grasp on this."
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"You're kidding, right?"
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"No, but that's okay."
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"Wanna come with?"
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"Oh, no."
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"You were right. Your larynx is terribly inflamed."
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"You're gonna need to stop talking, immediately."
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"- For how long should--? - Eh, eh, eh!"
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"lmmediately."
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"Sheldon."
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"I just performed a Sheldon-ectomy."
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"Uh-oh."
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"Do we need to talk, or do we need to talk."
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"...things between you and me have been going pretty quick."
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"Well, yeah, but scary good, right?"
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"Sure."
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"- But-- Okay. Um, I have feelings, right? - Uh-huh."
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"What's that?"
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"Really? Right now?"
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"Aren't you supposed to wait an hour?"
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"I think that's for swimming."
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"- Hope I don't get cramps. - Yeah."
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"- Hey. - Hey."
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"- Your pants are ruined. - Good."
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"So how did the talk with Stephanie go?"
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"So you told her you wanted to slow things down?"
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"Not specifically. But, um, I did tell her that I had feelings."
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"You had sex, didn't you?"
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"Um...."
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"Okay, well, it sounds like things are gonna work out."
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"You don't always have to go along with what the woman wants."
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"Okay, here's the thing."
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"I'm afraid that if I ask her to move out, she'll just dump me."
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"Well, that's a chance you have to take."
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"I mean, look, if it's meant to be, it'll be."
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"Very comforting."
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"Okay, so, what do I say to her?"
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"...when they wanted to slow a relationship down?"
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"I really like you, but I wanna see how things go with Mark?"
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"Yeah, that'll slow it down."
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"I'm sorry, I totally interrupted you. What were you saying?"
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"I really like you but maybe we should spend a little less time together..."
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"...because I need my space, but I'll call you on Tuesday."
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"And then you never call me, so I call you, but you don't call me back."
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"...you pretend you have problems with voice mail..."
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"...and I know that you're lying but I pretend like I don't care..."
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"No, no. Uh, I wasn't gonna say any of that."
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"- ...I really like you. - Oh!"
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"Oh, good, because I really like you too."
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