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Clips from Superstore - Magazine Profile (S01E01)

"putting employees with disabilities on the cover."
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"Look."
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"Wow."
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"You were not kidding."
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"especially with Face Birthmark Tony on vacation."
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"Yeah, I'll bet, and getting a black guy in a wheelchair"
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"on the cover would be like their Holy Grail or something."
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"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa."
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"You trying to say being black's a disability?"
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"- Oh, no. No, no, no. - Huh?"
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"Now, that's... no. No, of course, no."
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"- I listen to Drake. I... - Drake?"
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"No, no, no. I watch BET... sometimes."
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"- I'm messing with you, dude. - Okay."
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"Good. Thank God."
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"I've never watched BET."
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"Yeah, me either, man."
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"'Sup, fool?"
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"Nice."
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"Why are you dressed like"
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"you're going undercover at a high school?"
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"Oh."
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"Well, it looked cool on him."
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"With the reporter coming..."
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"I know I'm not the most exciting person in the world,"
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"so I thought I'd jazz myself up a bit."
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"Come on, Glenn."
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"You remember that time when, um,"
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"you know, uh..."
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"you know."
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"Thanks for trying."
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"Glenn, "Stratus" is just a stupid corporate rag."
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"Nobody reads that."
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"I know that,"
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"but for once, it'd be nice to be the star."
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"I mean, I... I know I'm never gonna be Madonna,"
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"but, for one day, it'd be nice not to be Glenn,"
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"but to be... Glenn."
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"Hey, I need you to help me give Glenn a makeover."
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"Which one of us was she talking to?"
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"Whichever one of you uses moisturizer."
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"You know, I have to say, almost everything works on him."
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"I guess that's the one benefit"
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"of having a face with zero character."
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"Thank you, Mateo."
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"You look good, Glenn."
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"Just remember to maintain eye contact,"
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"give a good, firm handshake..."
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"Give compliments, and try to make some jokes."
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"And smile a lot."
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"Umm... hmm."
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"Do you have something you'd like to say, Jonah?"
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"A reporter doesn't care about how you look."
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"They want to hear your big ideas."
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"Ideas?"
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"Okay. You know what?"
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"It's not "The New Yorker.""
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"It's "Stratus.""
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"They just want some nice photos"
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"and a quote saying how great it is to work here."
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"Jonah, I think Amy's right."
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"I'm just gonna stick with a firm handshake"
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"and an enthusiastic "Howdy-do!""
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"Exactly."
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"But don't say "howdy-do.""
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"Rodger dodger."
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"♪ Cloud 9, Cloud 9 ♪"
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"♪ You better come inside ♪"
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"♪ I don't play by the rules ♪"
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"♪ Immigration, deportation ♪"
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"♪ Kneel, dog ♪"
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"♪ Rock the vote ♪"
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"♪ Campaign finance reform, bitches! ♪"
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"♪ Pew-pew-pew ♪"
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"What's up?"
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"That felt pretty good, right?"
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"That was great."
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"A lot of fun stuff in there..."
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"Yeah."
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"And I really love the world of this rap."
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"I just had, like, one thought."
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"Not that I know anything,"
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"but it's a little bit, maybe, too... political."
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"that say, "God is a black woman.""
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"Well, yeah."
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"That's what makes it original, yo."
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"Mm-hmm."
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"I just think toning it down might give us a better shot."
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"We need money for the baby."
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"Now, don't think of it as "selling out.""
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"That's why you're my manager."
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"- Glenn. - Mm?"
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"- Don't slump. - Yeah."
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"Accentuate your silhouette."
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"Hand on hip, shoulders back, look down on the world."
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"Oh, she's here."
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"Hey."
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"You're in my house now."
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"You see those security cameras?"
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"I will have eyes on you..."
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"You understand what that means?"
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"Yeah, no. I got it."
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"Oh."
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"Hi. I'm from "Stratus.""
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"Yeah, I'm... I..."
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"I'm sorry. I didn't catch your name."
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"I'm sorry. You..."
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"- How about you just... - I'm sorry. You..."
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"- Okay, you talk. - Okay, you talk. You talk."
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"- You talk. You talk. - Mm."
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"Hi."
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"Welcome to the store."
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"We're so glad to have you here, Cynthia."
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"Big fans of "Stratus.""
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"This is our store manager, um, Glenn Sturgis."
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"Hello. Welcome to meeting me."
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"Oh."
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"What?"
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"- Yeah. - Yes."
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"- Smile. - What was that?"
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