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Clips from Family Guy - Connie's Celica (S18E18)

"I... I think Dad did this wrong."
Family Guy
"Yeah, aren't-aren't we supposed to be the frozen ones?"
Family Guy
"-Dad's a loser. -Yeah, he sucks."
Family Guy
"PETER: But I could hear them."
Family Guy
"how to stop time in wizard school,"
Family Guy
"don't leave class early to be the first in line for lunch."
Family Guy
"And you'd think it's got to be pretty good pizza,"
Family Guy
"being made by a magic wand and whatnot."
Family Guy
"I don't think it was the usual guy making it."
Family Guy
"This has been a Peter Griffin Marriage Time-Out."
Family Guy
"(indistinct chatter)"
Family Guy
"Good morning, class."
Family Guy
"So... you know. (chuckles)"
Family Guy
"I'm your new music teacher, Mrs. Griffin,"
Family Guy
"and I started from the bottom. Now I'm here."
Family Guy
"So... rap."
Family Guy
"I know you are, but what am I?"
Family Guy
"Lame."
Family Guy
"Okay, we'll call that one a tie."
Family Guy
"Now, class, what is music to you?"
Family Guy
"BOY: Nothing."
Family Guy
"Okay, Deaf Larry, we know"
Family Guy
"music is nothing to you and never will be."
Family Guy
"Stupid."
Family Guy
"Connie, you're just afraid, so you lash out."
Family Guy
"I get you, because I was you."
Family Guy
"Headstrong, full of anger, and a body that looked"
Family Guy
"like it stepped right out of Redbook magazine."
Family Guy
"-GIRL: Is that good? -Yes, that's good."
Family Guy
"You don't know. Shut up."
Family Guy
"You were never me."
Family Guy
"Oh, no? Look down at your desk."
Family Guy
"Lois... Griffin."
Family Guy
"But-but weren't you Lois Pewterschmidt back then?"
Family Guy
"Meg, go to the principal's office."
Family Guy
"My desk also has "L.G." on it."
Family Guy
"-Mine, too. -They all do!"
Family Guy
"Okay, okay, I didn't know where the troublemaker was gonna sit."
Family Guy
"Mr. Mason may have been a bird, but at least he wasn't a liar."
Family Guy
"Well, you better get used to me, 'cause Mr. Mason's gone."
Family Guy
"Sweetie, it's the middle of the day. What happened?"
Family Guy
"Well, I hope this doesn't affect our plan to have eggs."
Family Guy
"So, Lois, how was your first big day teaching?"
Family Guy
"You pull a Mary Kay Letourneau?"
Family Guy
"(laughs)"
Family Guy
"No, Peter."
Family Guy
"I didn't leave my family"
Family Guy
"to have sex with a 12-year-old boy named Vili Fualaau,"
Family Guy
"get arrested for rape, give birth to his child in prison,"
Family Guy
"get out, get arrested again for humping him in a car"
Family Guy
"when he was 13, have his second kid in jail,"
Family Guy
"get out, get married to him,"
Family Guy
"change my name to Mary Kay Letourneau-Fualaau,"
Family Guy
"live my life as a disgraced sex offender,"
Family Guy
"and then get dumped by him."
Family Guy
"(laughing): No, I didn't do that."
Family Guy
"because of that brat Connie D'Amico."
Family Guy
"She's a classic, entitled, mean-girl slut."
Family Guy
"Connie D'Amico? She stopped by to see you yesterday."
Family Guy
"She did?! What'd she say?"
Family Guy
"-She said you're gullible. -And?"
Family Guy
"Hmm, Connie D'Amico."
Family Guy
"The name sounds familiar."
Family Guy
"I better go check Meg's yearbook--"
Family Guy
"pages four, six, 11, 27, 41, 42 and 60--"
Family Guy
"to see if it's the babe I'm thinking of."
Family Guy
"Lois, I'll take my dessert upstairs"
Family Guy
"in the masturbation bathroom."
Family Guy
"to teach high school kids."
Family Guy
"I thought I could handle their nonsense,"
Family Guy
"but I just kind of froze today with Connie."
Family Guy
"-Yeah, hang it up. -You gave it a day."
Family Guy
"That's nonsense, Lois."
Family Guy
"You just have to be more of an authority figure."
Family Guy
"If Connie gets out of line again,"
Family Guy
"don't be afraid to show her who's boss."
Family Guy
"Like I did with those squirrels."
Family Guy
"-(squirrels chittering) -Hey, neighborinos."
Family Guy
"Um, so, not a huge deal,"
Family Guy
"but if you guys could keep your chittering down,"
Family Guy
"I'm trying to get some writing done in the house."
Family Guy
"Could that be good?"
Family Guy
"(chuckles)"
Family Guy
"(chucking): Oh. Okay."
Family Guy
"All right, thanks, guys."
Family Guy
"Stewie? What are you doing here?"
Family Guy
"because I didn't believe you showed anyone who's boss."
Family Guy
"And I was right."
Family Guy
"Did you get a sleeve tattoo of Freddie Mercury?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, it's a cutaway."
Family Guy
"(playing light chord progressions)"
Family Guy
"I know some of you kids think this class has nothing to do"
Family Guy
"with your day-to-day lives, but you couldn't be more wrong."
Family Guy
"Music tells the story of our lives."
Family Guy
"For example, this morning,"
Family Guy
"I woke up and saw it was a sunny day."
Family Guy
"(plays Grieg's "Morning Mood")"
Family Guy
"(plays "East Asian riff")"
Family Guy
"Which was from China."
Family Guy
"On my way out the door, the kitty cat ran across my piano."
Family Guy
"(plays dissonant, descending notes)"
Family Guy
"Get off of there, kitty cat!"
Family Guy
"Then I drove to work."
Family Guy
"(plays rapid, upbeat melody)"
Family Guy
"But then, I hit some traffic..."
Family Guy
"...that was caused by a parade."
Family Guy
"(plays Sousa's "The Stars and Stripes Forever")"
Family Guy
"(plays "The Stars and Stripes Forever" in high octave)"
Family Guy
"And finally, I got to school early"
Family Guy
"and diarrhea'd in the girls' locker room."
Family Guy
"(plays sustained low note)"
Family Guy
"The end."
Family Guy
"Aah!"
Family Guy
"(laughter)"
Family Guy
"That's it, Connie!"
Family Guy
"To the principal's office. Now!"
Family Guy
"Okay. For the rest of the class, I will wait for the bell."
Family Guy
"(school bell ringing)"
Family Guy
"And then I will suddenly talk much louder and faster"
Family Guy
"as you're heading out the door."
Family Guy
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