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Clips from New Girl - Secrets (S01E01)

"I have work... I have plans, I..."
New Girl
"- Get in there, come on. - Can I just pay you for the scarf?"
New Girl
"- Fine. Twenty-five dollars. - Twenty-fi... No, I'll just help you look for it."
New Girl
"Nick, where'd you go?"
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"- Are you kidding me? - No, no, no, it's a bear..."
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"- Hey Nick, can I have this circle scarf? - Who is this?"
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"- My scarf. - No."
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"- It's my scarf! It's mine! It's mine! - No! No!"
New Girl
"Nick, I just want you to know that I am not judging you right now."
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"Oh, yeah. Right. Sure."
New Girl
"Ladies, let's not do this. At least not with our shirts on."
New Girl
"Know how many things I haven't told you?"
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"No, I don't, because apparently I don't know you at all!"
New Girl
"Are you running a 10K tomorrow? Who knows?"
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"Are you even against MS anymore? Beats me!"
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"They stopped hitting each other, they're hitting me!"
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"All right, you wanna go? This New Year's, I wasn't at my parents' house."
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"I was down in St. Bart's with a guy who might be an arms dealer."
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"And my feet aren't wider than yours, I just told you that to make you feel better."
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"And when we were 10 years old, I went to the movie My Girl..."
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"with Jessica P. Before I saw it with you! And I own a motorcycle!"
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"Jessica P? Jessica freaking P?"
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"- Oh, my God, are you crying under there now? - No! No!"
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"- I think you are! - No, I'm not!"
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"All right, everybody stop!"
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"Wherever you are right now, just sit down."
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"Okay, now, Saturday is a day for sleeping."
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"And damn it, you will not take that from me."
New Girl
"You, give her her scarf back. Finders keepers is not a thing."
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"- You, get out of my house! - Who are you?"
New Girl
"Who am I? Who am I? Well, I am Theodore K. Mullins..."
New Girl
"and Nick is my lover on the down low."
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"Tell her, Nick. Tell her how it really goes down in apartment 4D."
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"Oh, great Negro spiritual, please come down and loose these chains on this woman."
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"Flesh on flesh, when the lights are off, we are all the same."
New Girl
"- Not true. - Dear Lord. Help me, Father!"
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"Get out of my house. Get out of my house!"
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"I'm leaving. - I'm out."
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"- Hey, can you give me a ride? - Get out."
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"I'm gonna stop and get a manicure, wanna come?"
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"- You told Harpo to beat me? - Bye, guys."
New Girl
"You want them over me? Over m... You."
New Girl
"You're sweating so much it looks like rain. And you."
New Girl
"You're peaking, you're at the prime of your life, that's..."
New Girl
"Cece. Get rid of the motorcycle."
New Girl
"Jess. Don't act like you don't think about us when you go solo."
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"Okay? I don't work a 9-to-5, I'm here all day, I can hear you."
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"Now go away, because I'm having cereal."
New Girl
"Runners, take their marks."
New Girl
"So why do you wanna walk around me?"
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"I don't wanna walk around with you"
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"I don't wanna walk around with you"
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"Why do all female runners look like old German women when they run?"
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"Oh, boy, look at her glisten. Oh, Cece."
New Girl
"- That sports bra's doing God's work. - Two months."
New Girl
"Can't stop, I've got to beat Jess!"
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"What are you...? What is wrong with you, sir? That is Cece's water! You animal."
New Girl
"- This thing with our girls is out of control. - Our girls?"
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"It makes me sad to see them fighting over me like this."
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"Then why are you smiling?"
New Girl
"Have you guys seen Cece? - Yeah, she's way down there..."
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"hasn't even broken a sweat. - Jess? Okay, Jess, arms up."
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"Arms up, I need you long and loose like seagrass. Moving, mov..."
New Girl
"- Aah! - Oh!"
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"- Oh, my God, why? - I'm sorry, I'm just mad at you."
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"My adrenaline is going."
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"- Did you make that? - What?"
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"And Cece let you wear it?"
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"What? She thought it was funny."
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"- Cece. Cece! Cece! - What's that about, man?"
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"- Puns freak me out, you know that. - I like it."
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"- Nick! - Nick!"
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"I hooked up with both these girls last week. I didn't know they knew each other."
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"I thought they just lived in the same apartment."
New Girl
"Why didn't you call me?"
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"Why didn't you tell me you hooked up with my roommate?"
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"Willow, I didn't call you because I had a family emergency."
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"Is everything okay?"
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"Yes, it is."
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"Megan, I didn't tell you about Willow..."
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"because the moment we had was so beautiful and intense..."
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"that for a second, I thought we were the only people on the planet."
New Girl
"Oh, okay."
New Girl
"- Well, we'll see you later. - Bye."
New Girl
"Bye, guys."
New Girl
"It worked."
New Girl
"- Where did that come from? - I don't know, I'm trembling, but it worked."
New Girl
"That was so good, my pants just got tight, Nick."
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"Oh, God, now I hate me as much as I've always hated you."
New Girl
"- Skin. - See, I have to do this now."
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"- No, you don't. - I do."
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"- All you have to do is not do it. - It works."
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"Cece!"
New Girl
"Cece! I can't breathe."
New Girl
"Cece! I know why you didn't tell me about Schmidt."
New Girl
"Because you like him!"
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"- What? - The shirt, Cece."
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"You thought the shirt he made was funny."
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"You obviously like him. It's the only explanation for thinking that's funny."
New Girl
"Oh, my God, I think you're right."
New Girl
"You didn't wanna tell me because I would know..."
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"and you weren't ready to admit it to yourself."
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"Can we say I didn't tell because I'm a total bitch? I'm way more comfortable with that."
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"You... You can't tell anyone."
New Girl
"- Yeah. That's, like, a secret only I know. - Heads up. I'm peeing."
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"Oh, my God."
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"- Okay, come on, we've got to finish. - Oh! No!"
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"- Oh, come on, man. - Come on, dude."
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"Don't do that."
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"Hey, here they come!"
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"- Here they come, come on, guys! - Let's go!"
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"- Finish the race! Finish strong! - Come on, ladies."
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"- Come on, guys! Come on, 900! - All right!"
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"Come on, 585. Good job, guys. - Finish strong!"
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"Winners! - Oh, man."
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"- Thanks for waiting, man. - Hey, thanks for the 10 bucks."
New Girl
"Guess what, you guys. My shoes are filled with blood. Ha, ha, ha."
New Girl
"I think it's time to go home, a little help, come on."
New Girl
"I got her, I got her. Okay, Jess, here we go. Okay, Schmidt, grab her feet."
New Girl
"- All right, there we go. - Bring her this way. Good job, Jess."
New Girl
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