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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Pants Tent (S01E01)

"Hello?"
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"- How you doing? - I can't believe I got you in your car."
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"I'm your manager, I'm always available."
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"I love that."
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"- What's going on? - Nothing, I'm going to the movies."
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"Who you going with?"
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"My wife tells her friend I'm looking for somebody to go to the movies with..."
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"so I'm going to the movies with my wife's friend, who I find really annoying."
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"Forget about that tonight. You wanna play golf this weekend?"
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"- I don't know, I'll have to ask Hitler. - Hitler?"
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"- Who's he talking about? - I don't know."
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"Listen, who's in your car?"
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"Just my parents, they're in town."
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"- Get me off the speakerphone, please! - Hold on."
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"- Now you're off the speakerphone. - What's wrong with you?"
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"I thought this was a private conversation!"
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"- I didn't know anybody else was in your car! - Hold on."
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"Relax back there!"
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"Goodbye."
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"- That's exactly right. - Be a little nicer about it and just go by."
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"You make this big sigh, I'm trying to get by."
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"- I'm sitting here. Please enter the other way. - Please move your legs."
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"Are you looking at my breasts?"
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"I'm not looking at your breasts, I'm trying to get to my seat."
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"- He's looking at my breasts. - Yeah, your special breasts."
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"- Just excuse me, please? - Please go by without stepping on my foot."
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"You wear that 'cause you want people to look at your shoes, right?"
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"Can you believe that? Did you hear that?"
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"- I hate her. - What a sick fuck."
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"I hate her, man."
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"She doesn't even move her knees to let somebody in?"
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"She's sitting on the aisle. She doesn't expect somebody to come in?"
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"You all right? You got really upset, didn't you?"
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"Don't worry, it's over now."
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"- Shit, there she is. - Yo, "D"!"
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"You came! This is one of my best friends."
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"- This is Sofia. And... - Nancy."
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"- I'm a huge fan of yours. - Friend of Cheryl's."
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"You know, only on deeply religious holidays."
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"- It was great. - It was fabulous."
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"Why don't we go and get a little cappuccino and some pizza."
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"- On me, on me! - It's too late for cappuccino."
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"I'll be up till 5:00 in the morning if I have a cup of coffee now."
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"Decaf doesn't work that well. That'll keep me up till 2:00."
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"I get the distinct feeling that I'm, like, Himmler's ghost."
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"- No. - It's late anyway, I'm gonna go home."
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"What about dinner? Are we still on for dinner Saturday?"
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"We're going out with the Davids Saturday night."
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"We're gonna go out. Let's make it like a leisurely dinner, if you don't mind."
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"- What does that mean? Leisurely? - Somewhere between 2 and 20 hours."
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"- I don't know. - I don't know what that means."
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"All right, I'll see you Saturday. You sure everything's all right?"
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"- How was the movie? - Not bad."
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"So, not quite sure how to tell you this..."
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"but I think your friend, Nancy..."
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"thinks she got me aroused in the movie."
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"Why would she think that?"
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"Because of the tent in the pants, and she looked down."
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"- No. - Yeah."
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"She thought that there was some garbage there."
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"She looked over and she looked at your crotch?"
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"She looked at it. She looked down."
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"- Like it was awkward. - There was a little twinkle."
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"You're sure that she looked over and thought that you were excited?"
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"90 percent sure. Can't be 100 percent sure."
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"That's really weird."
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"- I know, it's very weird. - It's very creepy."
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"- I told you about these pants! - I know, it's just material. It's obvious..."
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"It's not obvious! Look."
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"She didn't say anything to you about it?"
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"- You didn't say anything... - No, there was no time, the movie started."
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"And you weren't?"
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"- What? - You weren't aroused?"
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"Because any idiot could tell that was just material."
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"She's your friend."
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"Maybe I'll call her."
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"No, don't do that, that's crazy."
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"By the way, I've got some more news, too..."
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"in case this wasn't enough for you."
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"We're not going out with Richard Lewis and his girlfriend on Saturday."
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"- That's out. - Why?"
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"I got in a fight with his girlfriend..."
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"Larry, why? How in the world could you get in a fight with..."
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"It wasn't my fault. I was trying to get to my seat."
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"She wouldn't let me go and we got... He wasn't there."
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"I'll tell you about it, I have to go to the bathroom."
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"And he said that he's sorry."
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"If he leaves that message, you don't know what it means?"
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"Like you would know what that message meant."
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"- What happened? - That's weird. I have no idea."
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"- You have no idea what happened? - No."
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"- He'd leave a message saying... - I'm thinking about it."
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"I don't know what he's talking about. I'll talk to him tomorrow."
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"- Strange night? - Yeah, very strange."
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"Hello? Yeah."
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"Do you know how much longer he's gonna be?"
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"So, it was really uncool to just leave that message, "I'm sorry," on my machine..."
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"'cause my wife, she asked me, "What is he sorry about?""
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"And I had no answer."
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"I'm sorry."
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"I'm not gonna say I called her "Hitler" and your parents heard it in the car."
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"No."
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"Okay, you know what? I'm just gonna call back."
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"We'll think of something."
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"- What are you writing? - I'm writing Kathy Griffin a letter of apology."
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"Why? What did you do?"
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"but just every week, I end up writing her an apology letter."
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"What a job you have. You have to write people letters?"
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"It's crazy. Kathy's the only one I don't understand."
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"What if Kathy called you up..."
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"If my wife ever asks me again, which I'm sure she will, that's what I could tell her."
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"- You like that? - Yes, very much."
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"- It's quite good, isn't it? - So, we're lying together."
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"So that's our story, in case my wife ever talks to you, Kathy..."
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""and he said I couldn't write the pilot for her..."
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"- Who is? - You are, I'm talking to my wife now."
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""He's a big, fat idiot.""
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"- Big, fat idiot? - Come on."
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"Tell her I'm an idiot, don't say I'm a fat idiot."
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"- I'm kidding. - Could you do me a favor?"
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