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Clips from Scrubs - My Old Man (S01E01)

"They're upset because they have to present it at a conference."
Scrubs
"Do you know how many interns would die to do that?"
Scrubs
"It's so political. Surprise! They went with the black guy and the girl."
Scrubs
"I could tell my friends were upset."
Scrubs
"Turk and Elliot are freaking out because their parents are coming."
Scrubs
"But karma doesn't scare me."
Scrubs
"But this? This is what comes around."
Scrubs
"- That's all right. JD'll go out. - Oh, get some chips."
Scrubs
"My mom and dad got divorced when I was seven."
Scrubs
"with their father is different, mine has always seemed very different."
Scrubs
"God, I'd like to take a run at her. Look at that rack."
Scrubs
"That's is correct, Christopher."
Scrubs
"OK, you know, I think I'm gonna hit the sack"
Scrubs
"Your mother had a beautiful bosom."
Scrubs
"No, let 'er rip."
Scrubs
"Oh, my God, Dad."
Scrubs
"Count it!"
Scrubs
"I don't want to wear blue scrubs!"
Scrubs
"What in the hell is this, parents' weekend?"
Scrubs
"then my dad decided ''I wanna come too,'' so..."
Scrubs
"Because she just came by to say ''hey'' before she checked into her hotel."
Scrubs
"She's coming back later to look around."
Scrubs
"She's not gonna like you. Baby, look."
Scrubs
"She had beautiful skin."
Scrubs
"Just beautiful."
Scrubs
"Excuse me?"
Scrubs
"Nice meeting you."
Scrubs
"What the hell was that all about?"
Scrubs
"Dad. Don't wander off like that."
Scrubs
"Even though residents are supposed to teach you,"
Scrubs
"- Could you do it? - Actually..."
Scrubs
"- What do you mean? - I don't know?"
Scrubs
"I don't think you get my dad."
Scrubs
"Here, I engaged you and gave you the impression that I actually care,"
Scrubs
"You definitely need something."
Scrubs
"and just cry your sad eyes out into whenever trauma..."
Scrubs
"I have testicles."
Scrubs
"All right? Hey, Mom, guess what."
Scrubs
"I'm Carla. I apologise if your son hasn't told you about me."
Scrubs
"I don't know how you've put up with him as long as you did."
Scrubs
"Still, you should know he loves me very much,"
Scrubs
"Yes, ma'am, we are."
Scrubs
"Dear, do me a favour. Don't give him any for a month or so."
Scrubs
"It just can't go down like that."
Scrubs
"After you, sir."
Scrubs
"Well, I'll be."
Scrubs
"I haven't seen a ward like this since Vietnam."
Scrubs
"so let's try and be sharp."
Scrubs
"Why don't we begin with,"
Scrubs
"What is the nutritional cause of high output cardiac failure?"
Scrubs
"I already went, sir."
Scrubs
"What? Nobody knows that."
Scrubs
"Prolongation of circulation time from lung to brain"
Scrubs
"Oh, dear Lord, please make it stop."
Scrubs
"Unfortunately for them, I'm a man."
Scrubs
"Hi, Mrs Turk."
Scrubs
"After all these years, are you still afraid of me?"
Scrubs
"On Thanksgiving, I said your turkey was dry, and you picked me up and shook me."
Scrubs
"- Then don't say that. - Silly Bambi."
Scrubs
"You guys, leave him alone."
Scrubs
"I've had enough of you two conspiring and whatnot. It ends now!"
Scrubs
"I could tell that he respected you, sir."
Scrubs
"You look upset, sweetheart."
Scrubs
"You shouldn't be."
Scrubs
"- But, Dad, you sell office supplies. - Yeah, I prefer to call them dreams."
Scrubs
"They blow into town and devastate everything in their path."
Scrubs
"How you doing, Elliot?"
Scrubs
"Jake's my buddy, and he's leaving the country"
Scrubs
"- Right? - Right."
Scrubs
"I probably should've woken him up to say goodbye"
Scrubs
"considering he'd be gone before I got home."
Scrubs
"Mom..."
Scrubs
"Do you know that Amy Swanson's marrying Drew Gertson?"
Scrubs
"He doesn't do that anymore."
Scrubs
"Mom, when I was a little girl, did I want to be a doctor?"
Scrubs
"Maybe I used a toy stethoscope on one of my dolls?"
Scrubs
"Have you ever reached a point in your life"
Scrubs
"Are you trying to tell me you're a lesbian?"
Scrubs
"Yep."
Scrubs
"Yeah, I'm not that busy."
Scrubs
"If you're not busy, you have time to do this discharge summary."
Scrubs
"- I meant that later I'm not that busy. - Fantastic."
Scrubs
"I told my mom you like that Cuban restaurant. She loves Cuban food..."
Scrubs
"See? That's our problem. You don't get me."
Scrubs
"I spend my life going in a circle around this place cleaning up after the sick."
Scrubs
"- That could be faecal matter. - Make it 30."
Scrubs
"What is it with parents?"
Scrubs
"Why is it so easy for them to make us feel bad?"
Scrubs
"Dad, I don't gotta put up with..."
Scrubs
"Otherwise, sure as shooting, you're gonna burn out."
Scrubs
"you want to talk to me about."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry. You're not on drugs, are you?"
Scrubs
"I skipped lunch, but I've been snacking."
Scrubs
"You are, in fact, a perfectly healthy 26-year-old doctor"
Scrubs
"Well, he did some considerable emotional damage, so..."
Scrubs
"If some guy ever does put a ring on your finger,"
Scrubs
"But for now, trust me when I tell you that I wouldn't care"
Scrubs
"could I do the ending? I really love the end of our paper."
Scrubs
"Do you think that I'm cut out to be a doctor?"
Scrubs
"I'm serious. Do you think this is what I really want to do?"
Scrubs
"Elliot, I don't know."
Scrubs
"I'm not crazy. Am I?"
Scrubs
"I got this crazy idea that you only fell for me"
Scrubs
"because I'm just like your mom."
Scrubs
"OK. I'll probably have a friend pick up my stuff."
Scrubs
"OK?"
Scrubs
"Relax. I don't do this with my mama."
Scrubs
"Oh, Mama."
Scrubs
"Part of me thought Cox was wrong."
Scrubs
"I had every reason to be angry with my father."
Scrubs
"So, how's it going down there?"
Scrubs
"If it's OK with you, we just won't talk right now."
Scrubs
"And I realised some things that deep down I probably always knew."
Scrubs
"Like, maybe he wasn't crashing on my couch to spend more quality time with me"
Scrubs
"but because he couldn't afford a hotel room."
Scrubs
"Maybe the truth is he's just a middle-aged, lonely guy"
Scrubs
"if someone gave him a break once in a while."
Scrubs
"I wanted to make sure I caught you and let you know"
Scrubs
"- Really? - Yeah."
Scrubs
"Well, listen, I'm, you know,"
Scrubs
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