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Clips from Scrubs - My Old Man (S01E01)

"Yeah, we could do that."
Scrubs
"First, I came out to my mother."
Scrubs
"Well, then,"
Scrubs
"it appears the boys in radiology owe me quite a bit of money."
Scrubs
"Because I really like what I do."
Scrubs
"You were right. I got into this for the wrong reasons."
Scrubs
"I still don't like your father."
Scrubs
"Maybe there, amid all the crap they dumped on us,"
Scrubs
"Like a passion for something you never knew you had."
Scrubs
"Or the ability to surround yourself with people who love you."
Scrubs
"the difference between the strategies"
Scrubs
"is not significant at either short-term or long-term follow-up."
Scrubs
"Thank you very much, folks, we've been great."
Scrubs
"Thank you."
Scrubs
"You know, see how you're doing."
Scrubs
"And for the record, that was atrocious."
Scrubs
"I mean, downright abysmal."
Scrubs
"I showed up at Y, as in ''Why, dear God? Why?''"
Scrubs
"You know, this has got to be"
Scrubs
"the most piss-poor, sorry excuse for a hospital"
Scrubs
"that I have ever set foot in."
Scrubs
"Goodbye, Son."
Scrubs
"Parents, huh?"
Scrubs
"- Bambi. - What?"
Scrubs
"Our parents are coming."
Scrubs
"Oh, I am so sorry."
Scrubs
"I knew I could make it worse."
Scrubs
"- Missed a spot! - You could help!"
Scrubs
"- You can't even hear the TV! - I like the pictures."
Scrubs
"If I believed in karma,"
Scrubs
"I'd be more cautious about giving these guys a hard time."
Scrubs
"Hey, Dad. No, no, nothing."
Scrubs
"No. It hasn't been that long since you and I saw each other."
Scrubs
"Hey, boys, what's shakin'?"
Scrubs
"- Who needs a beer? - Who doesn't?"
Scrubs
"You see, JD, this is what goes around."
Scrubs
"- Get out of here. - Only two left."
Scrubs
"Wowser, Rowdy's a boy dog."
Scrubs
"That's not unusual, but though everybody's relationship"
Scrubs
"- You know what they say about men. - They love boobies."
Scrubs
"- There it is. - Would you stay?"
Scrubs
"We've got a lot of catching up to do. Please."
Scrubs
"OK."
Scrubs
"You guys have a policy on farting?"
Scrubs
"Fire in the hole."
Scrubs
"I guess everyone's parents drive them crazy."
Scrubs
"So this is my hospital."
Scrubs
"Honey, is there a rule against looking pretty here?"
Scrubs
"I just think you would look so much more handsome in blue scrubs."
Scrubs
"Thank you, Mommy,"
Scrubs
"Parents have a way of making their children regress."
Scrubs
"Come on. Boy, you better watch your manners."
Scrubs
"Sort of. Elliot and Turk wrote this paper,"
Scrubs
"that doesn't specifically deal with a medical issue,"
Scrubs
"you can bet your powdered bottom I don't want you to answer."
Scrubs
"It's like working with a monkey."
Scrubs
"- What? - Nothing."
Scrubs
"Why didn't you introduce me to your mother?"
Scrubs
"OK. I was worried you thought she might not like me."
Scrubs
"My mother's never called any girl I've been with by her name."
Scrubs
"She called my college girlfriend The Big Easy."
Scrubs
"Well, was she fat and slutty?"
Scrubs
"Don't smile, woman. She did."
Scrubs
"I think it's time to get back to the suite and get in a bath."
Scrubs
"This place makes me feel dirty."
Scrubs
"Dr Kelso? Dr Kelso, these are my parents."
Scrubs
"It's a pleasure to meet the trees from which our little acorns fall."
Scrubs
"- Bob Kelso. - Simon Reid."
Scrubs
"I'm chief of medicine at St Augustine's."
Scrubs
"I know what you're thinking. You didn't ask."
Scrubs
"Can I help you, sir?"
Scrubs
"Oh, aggressive, huh?"
Scrubs
"Because if you do, I guarantee"
Scrubs
"it'll be the last stupid thing you ever do on God's green earth."
Scrubs
"This is your basic arthrocentesis there."
Scrubs
"they only show up when they want something."
Scrubs
"I have to give the students a lecture on heart murmurs."
Scrubs
"Thanks, man."
Scrubs
"That sucks. I totally wanted to spend some time with my dad tomorrow."
Scrubs
"Secure some kind of vehicle, car, balloon, tricycle,"
Scrubs
"He's not interested in my work. He's more of like a buddy."
Scrubs
"OK. That was my mistake."
Scrubs
"which is just so wrong! God!"
Scrubs
"Maybe a backbone. Or perhaps some testicles."
Scrubs
"At the very least, a pillow that you could carry around the hospital"
Scrubs
"Brace yourself and let me handle this nice and smooth."
Scrubs
"- Are you two sharing a bed? - No!"
Scrubs
"But if you're a good judge of character, you can tell I'm not messing around."
Scrubs
"- Yes, it is, Mother. - Oh, please. Not telling me about her."
Scrubs
"- Done. - It can't go down like that."
Scrubs
"- Amusing. - I thought so."
Scrubs
"I think they're totally getting along, don't you?"
Scrubs
"I'm about to open a fat can of whup-ass on you."
Scrubs
"Bring it on, bitch."
Scrubs
"All right, sports fans, we have a guest today at rounds,"
Scrubs
"Wet beriberi from thiamine deficiency."
Scrubs
"Yes, it is. Next question."
Scrubs
"Why don't we try..."
Scrubs
"- Oh, are you done for the day? - No."
Scrubs
"What's the mechanism of Cheyne-Stokes respiration in systolic dysfunction?"
Scrubs
"causing diminished sensitivity of the respiratory centre"
Scrubs
"to arterial partial pressure of carbon dioxide?"
Scrubs
"Yes."
Scrubs
"My dad winked at me!"
Scrubs
"If that's not saying, ''I love you, I'm proud of you,''"
Scrubs
"- I'm not sure what is. - I know!"
Scrubs
"There are no gratuitous winks in the Reid household."
Scrubs
"I'd love to come to your heart murmur lecture. I'm a big fan of those things."
Scrubs
"That means a lot, Dad."
Scrubs
"Absolutely. Please."
Scrubs
"- It's stunning. - Thank you."
Scrubs
"- And I understand that you... - I make these."
Scrubs
"Like two wolves gabbing about which sheep to eat."
Scrubs
"John Dorian, get over here."
Scrubs
"It is so cute when he thinks he's in charge."
Scrubs
"You should see him when I pretend to let him...make a decision!"
Scrubs
"- Thank you, sir. - Your dad must've been very impressed."
Scrubs
"Yeah, I think so."
Scrubs
"Well, that's very nice, but lucky for me,"
Scrubs
"I did it for me."
Scrubs
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