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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Mystery Date Observation (S09E09)

"unable to imagine life without me by 10:00 tonight."
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"her own point of view. Now, chop-chop."
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"Come on, Amy, show us the dress."
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"Okay."
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"But I'm really stepping outside of my comfort zone here."
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"Uh..."
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"it's your third date-- maybe you could go more sexy."
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"Do you have any heels higher than this?"
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"He's pretty tall."
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"Ooh. Ooh, tall!"
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"Finally some details about this mystery man."
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"Yeah, come on, tell us more."
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"Well, I told you his name and that he's tall."
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"What more do you need?"
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"Just a little peck on the lips."
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"Well, we're your best friends-- give us one more detail"
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"and we promise we'll leave you alone."
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"Fine. Um..."
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"All right, that is a juicy one."
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"All right, where is Tall British Dave taking you?"
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"To that new Italian place on Walnut."
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"Oh, nice."
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"I'm gonna go look for other shoes. Good luck."
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"Hey, you want"
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"We don't even know what time they're gonna be there."
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"I'll just call the restaurant,"
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"Damn, you're sneaky."
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"I think the quickest way to find you a new girlfriend"
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"is just to get you on every dating Web site out there."
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"Are you sure?"
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"I've heard that on those sites, often when you think"
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"pretending to be a real person."
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"No one does a better job"
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"pretending to be a person than I do."
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"If you don't want to use dating Web sites,"
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"what do you suggest?"
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"Off the top of my head? Uh, prospective women"
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"weed themselves out in a battle of wits"
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"she shows up at my door flush with the thrill of victory,"
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"and then sits quietly by my side while I watch Daredevil."
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"People compete for jobs and trophies-- why not me?"
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"Yeah-- no, but it is basic human nature."
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"Well, he's smart,"
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"he's a respected scientist..."
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"I don't know if I'd say you..."
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"I have an idea."
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"What if we put a post on Craigslist that says:"
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""World-class Caltech physicist seeking girlfriend."
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""If interested,"
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"solve the following puzzles for a chance to meet him.""
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"Oh, we'll make the puzzles extremely challenging"
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"to eliminate unworthy candidates."
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"Oh, we could set it up like a scavenger hunt where"
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"the last puzzle gives the winner Sheldon's contact information."
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"Well, this is actually an interesting social experiment."
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"I'm a little jealous of the people who get to do it."
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"Me, too."
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"Oh, I forgot to tell you-- we're gonna meet up"
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"with Bernadette to spy on Amy and her date."
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"What?"
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"I don't want to do that."
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"What, and you think I want to see a documentary"
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"This is the movie"
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"Big Soda doesn't want you to see."
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"So you're actually okay"
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"with invading your friend's privacy?"
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"You're not curious who she's out with?"
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"Not really."
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"That's it. The Sheldon Cooper Girlfriend Challenge"
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"Right now,"
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"somewhere, a woman is dividing the atomic weight"
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"of the best noble gas by the number of colors"
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"in the oldest national flag still in use... W-- then using"
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"that number as the average speed to calculate the travel time"
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"from Mordor to the Shire. And..."
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"of laughter, love and, best of all, rules."
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"tenacious and... so socially awkward"
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"she has nothing better to do on a Saturday night."
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"This is fun. I haven't dated much"
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"since my divorce."
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"Well, I'm having a good time, too."
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"If you don't mind me asking, why did you and your wife split up?"
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"I wanted children,"
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"and she wanted a pastry chef named Jean-Philippe."
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"Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry."
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"No, it's-it's fine. It's why I left England."
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"It reminded me too much of her."
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"Cold, gloomy and easily accessed by a Frenchman through a tunnel."
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"Hey. So, where are they?"
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"Across the street, in the left window."
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"Oh, damn it,"
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"we should have brought binoculars."
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"Right here."
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"Kinda. Before I met Howie,"
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"I liked to keep close tabs on my boyfriends."
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"By stalking them?"
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"No. Stalkers are creepy."
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"I'm just a harmless little girl"
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"with military-grade spy equipment."
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"Oh, there he is."
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"He's cute, right?"
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"Yeah! Can I see?"
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"What, now you're interested? You didn't even want to come."
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"I know, but you guys make being a crappy friend look fun."
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"Fine."
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"Yeah, okay, I see him."
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"Your what? Nothing. Not important."
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"So you've never been married?"
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"No. I mean, to be completely honest, I've..."
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"Oh. What happened with that?"
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"After five years,"
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"it was just feeling like more work than it should be."
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"Oh, that's too bad."
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"Was he a neurobiologist like you?"
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"No. He's a theoretical physicist"
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"at Caltech."
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"I love teaching math, but that would be my dream job."
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"What's his focus?"
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"Um... used to be string theory, now it's dark matter."
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"But... let's not discuss Sheldon."
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