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Clips from The Simpsons - Girly Edition (S09E09)

"Ooh, the gum with a cracker center."
The Simpsons
"Mmm. That'll do it, Apu."
The Simpsons
"- So just- - [Chittering]"
The Simpsons
"- [Shrieks] - [Apu] Do not be alarmed."
The Simpsons
"That is just my helper monkey, sir."
The Simpsons
"I got him after a robber shot me six times..."
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"and left me for dead."
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"Helper monkey, eh?"
The Simpsons
"- [Chair Squeaking] - [Chatter]"
The Simpsons
"[Laughter]"
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"Hey, I'm on TV. Fart."
The Simpsons
"Come on. Quit fooling around, you guys."
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"[Evil Voice] So we meet again, Mr. Bond."
The Simpsons
"- Bart, get out of my anchor chair. - Silence, Octopussy."
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"Come on. This isn't a joke."
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"All over town, kids are just waking up from their naps cranky and hungry for the news."
The Simpsons
"Wow. Kent Brockman."
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"Good luck, kids. Where the hell's my grilled cheese?"
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"- [Monkeys Chittering] - I'd like a monkey, please."
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"Uh, they serve as seeing eyes for the blind, sir."
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"- Do they do any other tricks? - No."
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"- Just the monkey then. - Uh, may I inquire..."
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"as to how you are "differently-abled"?"
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"Oh. I'm not handicapped."
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"I'm just lazy."
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"Uh, sir, helper monkeys are only for the physically-challenged or enfeebled."
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"Enfeebled? Ooh, I know just the guy."
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"Be right back."
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"- [Monkey Chittering] - Oh, Son..."
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"this monkey's gonna change my life."
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"Mind if I take him for a ride?"
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"Sure. I'll just stand here."
The Simpsons
"[Tires Squealing]"
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"Mmm, I can't wait to eat that monkey."
The Simpsons
"##[Nelson Singing Intro Music]"
The Simpsons
"And now, Kidz Newz. ## [Singing Melody]"
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"With Kidz Newz anchor- Lisa. ## [Singing Melody]"
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"Thank you. Our top story today-"
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"In a move that could affect children townwide..."
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"the library book purchase committee slashed its budget by three percent."
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"First on the chopping block- periodicals."
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"- Boring. - And now sports."
The Simpsons
"Bart Simpson telling you to lock the doggy in the barn..."
The Simpsons
"'cause here comes dodgeball action."
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"The shirts continued their domination over the skins today."
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"- And in school yard fights, the highly anticipated match... - [Bell Dings]"
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"between Kearney and Mr. Largo ended in a disqualification..."
The Simpsons
"for use of dog-doo on a stick. Lisa."
The Simpsons
"[Nelson] And we are out."
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"[Nelson] And we are out."
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"All right, kids. We learned a lot today."
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"Now this is what makes my job difficult."
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"- Bart, you're off the sports beat. - What?"
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"Sorry, Bart, but you've gotta take some things seriously."
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"- What? - Ooh, that's gotta hurt."
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"[Bell Dings]"
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"[Bell Dings]"
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"[Bart] Anchorman, huh?"
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"Well, if I'm gonna be an anchorman, I better go bleach the crud off my teeth."
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"- I'll be in makeup. - [Door Closes]"
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"I don't need a coanchor. I'm a straight-A student."
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"Lisa, Bart's got something you can't learn in school-"
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""Zing," "zork," "kapowza"- Call it what you want."
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"In any language it spells mazuma in the bank."
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"The point is the camera loves him."
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"I mean, let's be honest."
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"Bart's not exactly the brightest penny in the fountain."
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"In English, Lisa."
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"- [Motor Whirring] - Damn blueberry stains."
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"Look. I love Bart, but he's never even read a newspaper."
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"- [Motor Cuts Off] - Between you and me, he's, well..."
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"kind of dumb."
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"[Whimpers]"
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"Is there a problem, honey?"
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"Monkey. There's a monkey in the house."
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"- [Yells] - Relax. It's only Mojo."
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"Mojo, Marge. Marge, Mojo."
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"Watch. Simpson residence."
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"- [Chitters] - [Sighs]"
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"This "filthy monkey" made the orange juice you're drinking."
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"I'll show Lisa who's dumb."
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""Supreme Court reverses"-"
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"[Groans] I won't turn to the comics."
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"I won't turn to the comics."
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"All right. I'll read one comic just to get me rollir."
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"Archie."
The Simpsons
""Hey, Jughead, did you hear? The Supreme Court reversed"-"
The Simpsons
"- [Groans] - [Marge Shouts]"
The Simpsons
"[Monkey Chittering]"
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"- Mom, am I dumb? - Honey, I'd love to reassure you..."
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"but right now Mommy needs a tetanus shot."
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"[Doorbell Rings]"
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"a great anchor so I can show up my sister."
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"Sister, huh? [Chuckles] I've got a sister."
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"Miss Big Shot CNN Washington Correspondent."
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"[Scoffs] Well, she's not the boss of me!"
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"Come in."
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"Let's take the trophy route to the den."
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"Twelve Newsies. Seven Iron Mikes."
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"Four Golden Coifs."
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"This is the most prestigious award that Del Monte gives."
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"Human interest stories. They tug at the heart and fog the mind."
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"Observe."
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"Hear that?"
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"It's the sound of childrers laughter..."
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"silenced."
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"That's because tomorrow this old carousel..."
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"which has delighted young Americans for lo these past six years..."
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"will be torn down to make way for the future-"
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"a store that sells designer mouse pads."
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"Well, I guess there's no room in this modern world..."
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"for old Blackie here..."
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"but if you don't mind..."
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"this reporter is going for..."
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"one last ride."
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"reporting."
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"## [Nelson Singing Melody] And now..."
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"Marge, the kids are on."
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"The monkey's on my part of the sofa."
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"Honey, he's clearly marked his territory."
The Simpsons
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