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Clips from The Simpsons - Secrets of a Successful Marriage (S05E05)

"[ Chorus ] " The Simpsons ""
The Simpsons
"Uh, I mean, whoo-hoo."
The Simpsons
"[ Thinking ] Something was said. Not good."
The Simpsons
"No, that's okay. What was it?"
The Simpsons
"Or you could take an adult education course."
The Simpsons
"One way to drive your man wild..."
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"Wait a minute. Even Lenny is teaching a class."
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"[ Simpering Sounds ]"
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"I can tell the difference between butter and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."
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"We need someone to teach a course on how to build a successful marriage."
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"Ah, incorrect, Marge-- two perfectly good jackets."
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"I think it's great you're a teacher, Dad."
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"[ Chuckles ] Oh, Homer. What a pleasant--"
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"Can't talk now, Flanders. I've got a class to teach."
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"Sir, it's a felony to tease the order box."
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"[ Gasps ] I didn't know we could do that."
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"- Down the hall, Room 1 2. - [ Mouth Full ] Thank you."
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"um..."
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"No talking."
The Simpsons
"Um, how about if we tell you our problems with relationships?"
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"- [ Crushes Insect ] - Whoa. You think you got 'em all, but you forget about the eggs."
The Simpsons
"My problem is I'm a real user of women. I move in right away and stay until the money's gone."
The Simpsons
"Well, I'm a smart woman, but I make bad choices."
The Simpsons
"[ Sobs ] Come on, Waylon."
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"It's that horrible Mr. Burns, isn't it?"
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"- [ Yells ] - [ Burns ] Smithers.!"
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"Smi-thers!"
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"Mmm. Ooh, Mr. Simpson, are you listening?"
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"but to the eye that has brains, I'm making a point about marriage."
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"Just eat the damn oranges!"
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"- Ach, let's get out of here. - This is a terrible excuse for education."
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"- Like the other night, we were fighting about money. - Ooh, a fight."
The Simpsons
"Trouble in paradise, huh? Heh, heh, heh."
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"I was telling Marge that we could save some money..."
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"if she only dyed her hair once a month."
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"She's been as gray as a mule since she was 1 7."
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"Look, Marge. You don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there putting his ass on the line."
The Simpsons
"'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo..."
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"that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do!"
The Simpsons
"No. Wait. Uh, um--"
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"I do have a story about two other young marrieds."
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"- We need names! - Well, let's just call 'em, uh..."
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"So, anyway, Mr. ''X'' would say, ''Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running..."
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"- What the darn? - Marge, you'll never guess what."
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"Me and Milhouse took some mail from a mail truck and threw it down the sewer."
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"Son, I know you meant well, but that wasn't the right thing to do."
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"- Homer! - I'm outta here. - Me too."
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"All right, we're breaking early tonight, class."
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"- Get out! - But I'm not in the cla--"
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"You told personal things about our lives, even after you promised you wouldn't."
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"This scene is gettin' old, man. I'm hittin' the road."
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"But just remember that both your mom and your dad love you very, very much."
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"[ Screeches ]"
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"Earth base, this is Commander Bart McCool."
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"Quickly, into the safety dome, Milbot."
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"[ Moans Softly ]"
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"Oh-my-God! Oh-my-God! Oh-my-God! [ Panting ]"
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"There's something they give each other that nobody else can give them."
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"- No. - Okay. 30."
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"Good luck, Dad."
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"All right, brain. It's all up to you."
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"If you don't think of what it is, we'll lose Marge forever."
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"- Could've been very happy here. - [ Knocking ]"
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"Homer, what happened to you?"
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"Marge, I need you more than anyone else on this entire planet..."
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"could possibly ever need you."
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"In another few hours I'll be dead. I can't afford to lose your trust again."
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"Look, Dad. I missed you so much, I couldn't concentrate in school and I got an ''F.''"
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"Hey, this is dated two weeks ago."
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"So, Marge, are you really happy? Really?"
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"- Hey, Moe. - [ Yelps ]"
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"I'm out. [ Groans ]"
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"- Homer,you want any cards? Homer.! - [ Gagging ]"
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"[ Grunts ] Whoo."
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"I'm in. Let's see your cards."
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"- Oh, I was bluffing. - [ Laughs ]"
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"Come to papa! Wait a minute."
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"You have a straight flush, Homer."
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"G'oh! You do this every time, ya-- Oh, you--"
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"- Hey, don't yell at Homer just 'cause he's a little slow. - [ Gasps ]"
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"What was it? ''Don't yell at Homer''!"
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"''Slow.'' They called you ''slow''!"
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"How dare you call me that? I-- Huh?"
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"Hey, Homer,you still here? Boy,you are slow."
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"- [ Gasps, Thinking ] Something said. Not good. - Get the hell out of here."
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"[ All Chewing Loudly ]"
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"As usual, I'm winning and not realizing it."
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"And Lenny says that I'm, uh-- [ Chuckles ]"
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"get this-- [ Laughing ]"
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"''a little slow''! [ Laughing Loudly ]"
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"How come you're not laughing? Do you think I'm slow?"
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"- Buh. - Snuh."
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"[ Groans ] We don't think you're slow..."
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"but on the other hand, it's not like you go to museums or read books or anything."
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"You think I don't want to? It's those TV networks, Marge. They won't let me--"
The Simpsons
"one quality show after another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last."
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"If they only stumbled once, just gave us 30 minutes to ourselves."
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"Oh, who am I kidding?"
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"If you feel so bad about yourself, there's always things you can do to feel better."
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"Oh, and how is ''education'' supposed to make me feel smarter?"
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"Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain."
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"- That's because you were drunk! - And how."
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"is to wear tight, revealing clothes."
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"- [ All ] Eww! - At this point I'd like to remind you..."
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"All right, here's the 41 1 , folks."
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"- Ya just give' em one of these. - " [ Hip-hop ]"
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"- [ Pings ] - You see, that ping sound means the spit was on target."
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"- Now you try. - [ Spitting ]"
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"- [ Moans ] - Gettin' better."
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"Look at the way they admire and adore him."
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"That's it. If he can teach a class, he can teach a class!"
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"What is your area of expertise?"
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"No, you can't, Mr. Simpson. No one can."
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"Oh, I failed again. Everybody can teach a class but me."
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"I'm an idiot. What am I gonna tell my wife and kids?"
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"No. Mr. Simpson, what I mean is we may have a job for you after all."
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"I'll do it! Anything to get me out of that house..."
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"uh, of a family of love. " Sha-la-la-la ""
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"- [ Children Chewing Loudly ] - Look, everyone."
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"- Now that I'm a teacher, I've sewed patches on my elbows. - Homer..."
The Simpsons
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