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Clips from The Simpsons - Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts (S23E23)

"Really?"
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"but at least you can put a sign on a post"
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"that says "fresh strawberries-- one mile.""
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"You are a nitwit in an ill-fitting suit."
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"I'll have you know I'm lop-shouldered."
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"I said, I'm lop-shouldered."
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"There's no need for hyperbole, Seymour."
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"why don't you do it yourself?"
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"Fine. I will personally take over Bart Simpson's education--"
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"and for once, that boy's going to learn something."
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"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm expecting an important call"
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"I guess there's some stones in your leaf bag after all."
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"that carpet cleaning service"
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"Hello, is André there?"
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"I know I can superintend-- superintend like the wind--"
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"but teach?"
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"It's been years."
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"Wrong room. We're the Fight Club."
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"♪ Forget about me ♪"
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"♪ Don't, don't, don't, don't ♪"
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"We'll start with American history."
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"Bart, what if I told you there was a president"
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"That's as good a place to start as any."
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"...great fundamental issue"
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"now before our people..."
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"to rule themselves, to control themselves."
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"I believe they are. My opponents do not."
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"Hey, this Roosevelt guy was sort of interesting."
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"Did you know he was a colonel in the army?"
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"And one time, during a speech, he was shot by a saloon-keeper,"
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"but Teddy finished his speech before heading to the hospital."
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"I've never said this before, but I'd like to learn more."
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"Really?"
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"I wanted to learn more about trust busting."
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"Well, I've learned a lot today."
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"Eh-eh-eh. Not so fast."
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"Yes."
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"Come with me."
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"All around you is a national park"
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"Mm!"
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"Wow!"
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"And here I thought God created all this."
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"You've filled my head with horse poop and atheism."
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"Let's stop talking now."
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""A man who is good enough to shed his blood for the country"
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"Just quoting our 26th president, Lise."
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"You could use a little T.R. in your life."
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"Please."
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"Balderdash!"
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"Teddy Roosevelt protected America's wildlife."
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"Yeah, so he could shoot it himself."
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"Franklin Roosevelt led this country"
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"Face on a mountain!"
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"I hated the "Roosie-velts" and all them family dynasties."
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"The Kennedys, the Bushes, Jon Voigt and Angelina Jolie,"
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"That's a lot of anger, Grampa."
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"Well, I like Stephen Colbert,"
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"but that's because I don't get the joke."
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"Colonel Theodore Roosevelt and his band of Rough Riders"
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"Cuba si! Castro no!"
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"I love him because he said, "Bully.""
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"Bully-bully-bully-bully-bully!"
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"join our experiment in manly education."
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"have completely failed you."
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"School failed me?"
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"Does school have to go to summer Jimbo?"
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"He is the canary in the coal mine of a dying empire."
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"Yeah."
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"Boys are falling behind in every subject,"
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"because our classrooms are entirely geared towards girls!"
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"It's all about feelings, and celebrating differences."
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"Well, it's not cool to cry!"
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"Wreck those things! And then build them again!"
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"and lost a pair of his trademark spectacles."
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"This is all well and good,"
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"but I must know: what are spectacles?"
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"One time, I found"
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"an old washing machine over there"
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"that still had clothes in it."
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"Wow."
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"This place is as beautiful"
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"The kind my Dad used to leave in the bathtub."
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"There are no bad fathers in the wilderness, boy."
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"morning's when I miss my Rosemary the most."
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"She sure looked good in a pair of jammies."
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"Dinguses! Dinguses!"
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"Ah, nicely done, Muntz!"
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"Could this be the moment my life starts to turn around?"
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"Gary, you took these boys on an unauthorizefield trip,"
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"He got some bumps and bruises"
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"and a thistle in his britches."
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"The big deal is I'm gonna sue you!"
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"He said he'll only take "veinte por ciento,""
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"whatever that is."
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"And I am not smiling because I lost the case."
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"Ha-ha!"
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"Just drive."
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"Bart Simpson?"
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"from the kid that had it before me."
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"Stupid fish!"
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"Hey, Gary."
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"Simpson, you are looking at a man who was not good enough"
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"for the worst public school in America."
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"Son, I'm no Teddy Roosevelt."
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"I'm not even Kermit Roosevelt."
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"Bart, I want to ask you about something I read in a magazine."
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"How could we be?"
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"Marge, I parented!"
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"That's great, Homie!"
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"Come have some ice cream on a brownie!"
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"Later, losers."
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"I'm thinking of something big."
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"and not giving it up till Chalmers gets his job back!"
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"about all you boys having a meeting in this tree house."
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"Well, Dad, since you are taking"
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"an interest in us, maybe I should tell you..."
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"my ice cream's melting"
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"and I haven't finished my brownie!"
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"So, I'm considering taking drugs."
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"Oh, strongly against!"
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