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Clips from The Simpsons - Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts (S23E23)

"D'oh!"
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"And now it's time for lights, camera, auction!"
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"No cameras."
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"I'll just leave the food on your doorstep and ring the bell."
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"Hello?"
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"I am Edith Knickertwist,"
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"Sold."
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"at a function of your choice."
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"And that concludes tonight's auction,"
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"I'm Mrs. Knickertwist."
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"Why do I believe everything I hear in a British accent?"
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"I... I didn't know that."
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"If you think it's so easy to handle Bart Simpson,"
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"You tell him, Seymour."
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"You mean Booth and Lincoln?"
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"Anymore."
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"Oh, nicely done, Seymour."
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"While I'm on a roll, I'm gonna call"
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"So, you are the so-called Breakfast Club."
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"Thank God they never went on to do anything since."
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"So, Simpson, you'll be studying with me now."
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"Same garbage, different Dumpster."
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"Now, I'm sure you know who these gentlemen are."
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"sex guy, Will Ferrell, black guy."
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"Man, Teddy Roosevelt killed more Spaniards in one day"
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"than most people do in their whole lives."
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"You know, I hate to say this, Bart,"
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"Now, to go home and let TV slowly rot it all away."
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"Teddy Roosevelt believed you could learn from books."
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"I thought teachers only went outdoors to smoke and cry."
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"So, Bart, what have you learned so far?"
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"Well, when horses poop, they don't stop."
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"They just keep walking. Yes, yes."
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"created by Teddy Roosevelt."
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"is good enough to be given a square deal afterwards.""
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"I went through my T.R. phase in first grade."
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"through the Depression and World War II."
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"Face on a dime!"
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"charged up San Juan Hill and liberated Cuba."
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"I love Teddy Roosevelt because he had asthma as a boy."
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"The dude really knew"
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"Hey, maybe Chalmers would let you guys sit in on our lessons."
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"After me, men."
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"I'd be glad to have you boys"
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"The fact is, today's modern schools"
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"Look at him, boys."
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"But I loved reading It's Cool to Cry!"
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"This weekend, we set forth in search of those spectacles!"
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"and look what happened!"
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"Got me one of them "abogados" from the bus ads."
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"You have seen my picture on the side of a bus."
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"I'm gonna take you for every peso you got."
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"Chalmers would actually take us out to see the rocks."
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"You can see the rocks on page 32 of your science book."
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"My book is missing page 32."
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"Put your head on the desk and shut your eyes."
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"My desktop is sticky with soda"
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"Don't you want to be my din-ner?!"
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"Our mission: to get Chalmers back his job."
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"Bart, your mother thinks there's something suspicious"
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"Oh! Marge,"
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"Yeah..."
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"stacks of résumés in back seat."
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"Taking over the school..."
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"with all the kids inside."
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"Hello, Mom?"
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"You won't believe what Bart's doing."
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"Yo, teachwads!"
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"The Brotherhood of the Spectacles has"
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"Oh, no, please."
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"Not so fast!"
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"We've got a 30-year mortgage on that photocopier!"
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"Okay, we gotta stay focused:"
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"Jimbo, gather all the students in the gym."
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"He's not a bad boy."
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"He had a teacher who finally got through to him,"
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"The least I can get out of this whole nightmare is"
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"Dude, you better see this."
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"and then return to school where you belong."
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"Thanks. But these Rough Riders aren't dismounting"
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"Oh, my God."
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"No question: Night at the Museum. One or two?"
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"Take your pick, you can't go wrong."
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"The Simpsons? Wha...!"
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"God, I love to watch that woman get beer."
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"D'oh!"
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"for things we don't need for kids we didn't want."
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"Wow-- the gym ropes are seaweed,"
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"Yarr! Just plastic."
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"Which is healthier than what you find in the ocean."
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"I don't want people to know my kids go to this lousy school."
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"Ooh, first item up for bid is always a favorite,"
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"lunch with Principal Skinner."
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"Next up for auction is this wonderful bench hand-crafted"
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"by our second-grade class."
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"I bought one last year and it was crap construction."
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"Do I hear $50?"
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"Paddles down."
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"It's the only way to change the system."
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"Calling from England?"
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"Certainly I can put you on speakerphone."
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"For this masterpiece, I bid"
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"$1,000."
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"I bid $4,000."
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"will finally get an Earth."
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"which has raised a school record $116,000."
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"And our windfall is all thanks"
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"to our dear new friend on the phone."
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"'Allo, luvs!"
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"Mm. I've got a bad feeling about this."
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"And I've had a proper hardy-har at your expense."
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"He has thrust upon us the motley of the tomfool."
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"Mr. Simpson, I know you're not one of our wealthier parents,"
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"Here's $1,000,"
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"$2,000, $3,000..."
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"Oh, I need more cash."
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"- Oh! - Oh."
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"Skin-ner!"
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"Yes, sir?"
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"I was very pleased with your work last night."
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