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Clips from Parks and Recreation - Practice Date (S02E02)

"All I can say is I wasn't just having sex,"
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"and her boyfriend,"
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"and a third person, whose name I never learned."
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"Why?"
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"Personally, all I care about is Councilman Dexhart's policies."
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"Which, by the way, I heard he was."
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"One more shocking revelation in a story that just won't stop unfolding."
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"Perd Hapley, Channel Four Eyewitness News."
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"Why does anybody wanna run for public office?"
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"You're just asking to have your entire life exposed."
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"I'm sure that you think that you're clean,"
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"but I bet that we could find something on you."
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"That's it."
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"I'm out."
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"Not an option, Jerry."
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"That's why we're all playing."
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"Hey, guys. What are you guys doing?"
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"in case someone wants to run for office."
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"What?"
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"He's probably gonna go anger-pee in the courtyard."
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"first official... First date."
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"Roger that."
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"Copy. Over and out."
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"Yeah. Hey, listen, I'm really nervous"
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"about this date tomorrow night."
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"Do you have, like, a first date outfit I can borrow?"
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"Like, I don't know, a pair of cargo pants?"
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"What about, like, a sexy hat?"
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"Helping already."
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"Several hours from now?"
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"Yeah, that would give us more time. Let's go."
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"Looking for dirt on me? No point."
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"Everybody, I bought a Croissan'wich this morning."
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"Hey, Tom. Nice Taliban robes."
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"Those aren't Taliban robes."
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"That's right. Ron has two ex-wives, each named Tammy."
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"Tom, that was a Jaeger-secret."
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"You just breached a Jaeger-secret."
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"Damn, this just heated up quick!"
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"That looks great. Yeah?"
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"Will you be wearing it out of the store today, madame?"
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"I think I will, good lady."
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"Shoot."
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"Guys like girls that have kids, right?"
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"Whoa!"
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"What if I get drunk and I talk about Darfur too much?"
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"I just have a few more questions for you, Ann."
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"What if one of my sleeves catches on fire and it spreads rapidly?"
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"What if instead of Tic Tacs, I accidentally pop a couple of Ambien"
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"They have happened."
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"All of these have happened to me."
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"No, there's more."
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"One time, I accidentally drank an entire bottle of vinegar."
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"but I am just not good on first dates."
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"No, no, no. We are gonna go to a restaurant and have a practice date."
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"The Danish call it "op og ned apparat,""
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"which literally translated means the "up and down machine.""
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"Now I'm gonna talk about the local flora and fauna"
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"found in Pawnee. Okay."
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"Okay."
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"Just ask me the first thing that comes to your head."
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"How big is it?"
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"Do you hate black people?"
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"Excuse me?"
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"The KKK guy?"
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"Boom!"
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"'cause she's super rich and super hot also."
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"You're super hot. Everybody else has to deal with it."
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"Let's get out of here. See you later, Ron."
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"I've established a scientifically perfect 10-point scale"
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"with a method called "exposure therapy.""
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"So, like, if you were afraid of snakes,"
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"So, I am going to immerse Leslie in a tank of bad date."
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"dropping my niece off."
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"Torple."
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"My niece's name is Stephanie. Stop lying."
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"You know, Dave, the place where you..."
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"You know, the toilet thing."
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"Hey, Mark."
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"A little birdie told me that you have one unpaid parking ticket."
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"Well, that's funny, because a little birdie told me"
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"Oh, snap!"
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"Oh, no. Oh, Jerry. Oh, Jerry. I'm so sorry."
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"Tom, could you come into my office?"
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"Ron-tonamo Bay."
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"Winning the game."
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"Seriously, Ron. Games aside, you gotta keep this between us."
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"I bested you in this game. Say it. Say, "I bested you.""
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"Yeah, I definitely wanna see you tonight."
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"No, I can't really talk right now,"
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"Hey, do you wanna watch a porno after this with me and my wife?"
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"No, Dave. 'Cause you're disgusting."
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"So, it's definitely a no?"
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"You're right, it is. Well done."
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"Sorry I had to get all medical on you."
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"Tom. You hate Ron, right?"
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"It's not about the game anymore."
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"You must know how that feels, you got tons of dirt in your past."
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"There is a man named Duke Silver."
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"He's an old friend of Ron's, maybe you should ask him."
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"there's gonna be worms all over the place."
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"I don't need your dress anymore, I'm gonna wear my own stuff."
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"Me-power."
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"Listen, it is impossible that he's not gonna like you."
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"He's gonna freak out about how awesome you are."
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"Yeah. Hell, yeah. Yeah. Hells, yeah!"
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"You are awesome."
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"Thank you. You are, too."
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"You're awesome."
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"Look, I know today is today, and it's not tomorrow,"
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"but I felt like you should know that I'm awesome,"
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"off-the-charts amazing. Up top."
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"All right, let's do this, bitch!"
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"'Cause I walked here, 'cause... The drinking."
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"It's with the jazziest pleasure that I bring out for you,"
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"Now, relax, and let the Duke Silver Trio"
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"I think it fused with my shirt in the dryer or something."
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"Okay. Can I use your bathroom?"
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"So, you're gonna give me an elevator home?"
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"Yes. We'll put our knickers"
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