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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Alien Parasite Hypothesis (S04E04)

"You're probably wondering why."
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"- No. - No, we're good."
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"Heh? Heh? Did I lie?"
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"...zero, zero, one."
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"All Chuck Norris backwards gets you is "sirron kcuhc.""
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"My dad's company prints menus for this place."
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"Dropping off some new ones, laminated."
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"Ahem. Uh, Zack, these are my friends Bernadette and Amy."
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"Does "went out" mean "had intercourse"?"
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"- Interesting. And was it not satisfactory? - No, it was great."
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"...but it's important to protect his manhood."
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"- What's the matter? - I'm suddenly feeling flushed."
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"In addition, I keep involuntarily saying "hoo.""
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"It's no mystery."
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"I obviously have the flu, coupled with sudden-onset Tourette's syndrome."
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"Mouse Boy?"
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"No, I experienced distressing symptoms last night..."
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"...and localized vascular throbbing."
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"I was in a restaurant with Penny and Bernadette, drinking water."
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"Penny's friend Zack stopped by and said hello and I said "hoo.""
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"All right, let's start over."
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"...in descending order of likelihood..."
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"Bravery test. First one to take his hand out is the sidekick."
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"- Are you scared? - No. But it's a stupid test."
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"...and let other guys see you naked?"
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"Oh, come on. That's never gonna happen."
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"Sheldon, I am not going through menopause."
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"...found in cheap science fiction? - Cheap science fiction?"
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"...is motivated by nothing more than simple jealousy?"
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"I reject it."
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"As they were incorrectly sliced..."
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"...you can see how I could mistake them for my sashimi."
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"Yeah, that's why I'm gonna skip over it."
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"- You got a better idea? - Every idea is better than this idea."
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"No, it's chilly outside. I didn't bring my jacket."
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"I suppose there are worse ways to spend a Friday night."
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"Look at this stamp."
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"And yet here I stand before you, 130 pounds of raging estrogen..."
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"If anybody's gonna go down, it's you."
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"Clarify something for me."
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"Isn't the point of a communal meal the exchange of ideas and opinions..."
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"...an opportunity to consider important issues of the day?"
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"It is. You just kind of put a damper on things when you said:"
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""The next person I see talking with food in their mouth will be put to death.""
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"We could argue about who said what all night..."
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"...but to set things back on course..."
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"...I will propose a new topic of conversation."
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"- Oh! - Great."
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"What is the best number?"
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"By the way, there's only one correct answer."
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"Five million, three hundred, eighteen thousand and eight?"
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"Wrong. The best number is 73."
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"It's mirror, 37, is the 12th..."
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"...and its mirror, 21, is the product of multiplying... Hang on to your hats."
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"- Seven and three."
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"We get it. 73 is the Chuck Norris of numbers."
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"Chuck Norris wishes."
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"In binary, 73 is a palindrome:"
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"One, zero, zero, one..."
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"Which, backwards, is one, zero, zero, one, zero, zero, one."
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"Exactly the same."
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"Just for the record, when you enter 5,318,008 in a calculator..."
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"...upside down, it spells "boobies.""
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"Remember wondering why the girls didn't wanna eat with us?"
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"Yeah, I get it now."
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"- I love your heart locket, Bernadette. - Oh, thanks. Howard gave it to me."
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"It's the cutest thing."
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"Every time I have dinner with his mom, the next day I get jewelry."
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"Did you know the Valentine's heart is not based on the shape of a heart..."
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"...but rather on the shape of the buttocks of a female bending over?"
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"Oh. So I spent seventh grade dotting my I's with little asses?"
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"Cool."
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"- Hey, Penny, how's it going? - Zack. What are you doing here?"
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"Easier to clean if people throw up on them."
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"- Guess how I got the idea. - Yeah, I got it. I got it."
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"- Hi. - Hey."
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"Hoo."
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"- Okay, well, it was good to see you. - Yeah, you too."
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"- Yes. - No. No."
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"But in this case, yes."
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"He just didn't really challenge me on an intellectual level."
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"Couldn't you just fool around with him and then listen to NPR?"
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"Wouldn't help. Zack can't even spell NPR."
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"It's what I do with Howard."
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"I'm much smarter than he is..."
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"Hoo."
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"My heart rate is elevated, my palms are clammy, my mouth is dry."
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"Oh, we know what's causing that, don't we?"
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"You hear about the accident at the bio lab?"
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"- No. - What happened?"
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"They were injecting rats with radioactive isotopes and one of the techs got bit."
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"Did he get super powers?"
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"No, he got five stitches and a tetanus shot."
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"Oh."
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"Well, that's disappointing."
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"- Why? - Oh."
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"You get bit by radioactive animal in a lab..."
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"...you kind of wanna turn into a superhero."
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"Yeah, but who'd wanna become Rat Man?"
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"Who wouldn't?"
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"You could zip through a maze in nothing flat..."
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"...squeeze through small holes and shut down restaurants in a single bound."
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"And the best part is, if I were Rat Man..."
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"...you could be my sidekick, Mouse Boy."
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"You don't like Mouse Boy? How about, uh, Kid Vermin?"
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"First of all, if we had super powers, I wouldn't be the sidekick."
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"- You'd be the sidekick. - Rat Man is nobody's sidekick."
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"Leonard, settle this, of the two of us, who's the obvious sidekick?"
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"Yeah, Leonard, who?"
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"Twelve years after high school and I'm still at the nerd table."
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"Aren't you slicing that man's brain a little too thin?"
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"It's too thin if I were making a foot-long brain sandwich at Quizno's."
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"For examination under a two photon microscope..."
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"Well, you're the expert."
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"If the correct way to do it is the wrong way, then I yield."
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"Very well, if you die and donate your body to science..."
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"...I promise to slice your brain like Canadian bacon."
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"Thank you."
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"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take my temperature."
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"Are you monitoring your circadian rhythms..."
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