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Clips from The Simpsons - The Twisted World of Marge Simpson (S08E08)

"## [Chorus Singing]"
The Simpsons
"[Bell Ringing]"
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"- ## [Carnival] - [Squeaking]"
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"As long as I have my earning power, this family's got nothing to worry about. Ow!"
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"Mom, this is no time to be conservative. Let's roll the dice here."
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"[Clunking, Beeping]"
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"[Distorted Voice] Help, help, help. Security code 30."
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"You'll be on a rocket ride to the moon!"
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"Oh, my name is Agnes, and you know it's Agnes!"
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"Did you know that disco record sales..."
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"If these trends continue- 'Ey!"
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"Here. Try a Ben Franklin."
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"- Here. Try a pretzel. - [Chomping]"
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"I'll take it!"
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"[Cheering]"
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"[Groans]"
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"[Horn Honks]"
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"[Cheering]"
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"I'll have one, uh- [Mutters]"
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"I will have one of your, uh-"
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"Wow! Check out that van. It looks like it doesn't even need our business!"
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"Q- Bert, Phil. [Chuckles]"
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"Hang in there, baby."
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"One bite, and you'll be hooked."
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"- [Crowd Boos] - Yea! Yea!"
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"[Announcer #2] Hall of Famer Whitey Ford now on the field..."
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"Wow. This is a-This is a black day for baseball."
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"is doing pretty well for himself."
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"[Doorbell Rings]"
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"but my wife is in her hour of need."
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"And what are those men doing under my van?"
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"as I'm preparing to do."
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"Uh- U-uh, yes, I am."
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"Oh, yeah."
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"I don't see any apartment building."
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"[Clicking]"
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"What are you talking about?"
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"with savage beatings and attempted murder?"
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"There. That's the last one."
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"- [Loud Knock] - [Both Scream]"
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"You see, my wife..."
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"And so on. So, please, da money."
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"Legs, Louie. Advance on them."
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"[Woman] There they are!"
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"Come here, you little squirt."
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"and you know it's gonna be good."
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"- [Thudding] - Aw."
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"[Tires Screeching]"
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"D'oh! [Screams]"
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"[Grunts]"
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"[Women Chattering]"
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"They say the pancakes here stink."
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"Thank you, Agnes. Let's begin."
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"I'm happy to report that our shares in Dynaflux Unimatics..."
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"are up a delicious seven and three-quarters."
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"This means our investment club portfolio has nearly..."
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"doubled in value."
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"- [Chattering] - Oh, that's wonderful."
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"I suggest we pump our profits into some new high-risk ventures."
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"Oh, oh! How about Oklasoft?"
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"It's Oklahoma's fastest-growing software company."
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"Um, cushions? Everybody likes to sit on cushions."
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"Children are so fat today. Isn't there some way we can make money off that?"
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"There's a franchise fair this weekend."
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"Why don't we buy a business?"
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"- [Chattering] - I never thought of that."
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"I'm not wild about these high-risk ventures. They sound a little risky."
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"Tsk. Oh, Marge. You are such a wet blanket."
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"If we'd listened to you, we wouldn't have sponsored that Mexican wrestler."
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"- Is that fair? - I guess I'm just not comfortable..."
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"with the whole idea of"investing.""
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"Mmm. Face it. You can't keep up with the go-go '90s."
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"Well, Marge. You're about as popular as rug burn. [Chuckles]"
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"All in favor of expelling Marge from the Investorettes-"
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"[Together] Aye."
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"All right, Helen. If I'm not wanted, I'll leave."
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"You'll get your pancakes in the mail."
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"[Sighs] And then they gave me back my $500 investment..."
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"and kicked me out of the club."
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"Wait, wait, wait. Back up a bit now."
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"When are the pancakes coming in the mail?"
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"Well, maybe it's all for the best."
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"What do you need to make money for anyway?"
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"Oh! Call work and tell 'em I won't be in tomorrow."
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"It would be nice to beat those women at their own game."
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"Maybe I should look into a franchise."
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"Greetings, humans. I am Investo the Robot of the planet Opportuniac."
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"My superior brain advises you to enter the franchise fair."
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"We're trying to, but you're blocking our way."
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"Danger! Danger! Don't forget to pick up pamphlets."
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"I'll handle this."
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"[Sizzling]"
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"Well, that's the miracle of the franchise."
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"You get all the equipment and know-how you need..."
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"plus a familiar brand name people trust."
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"And while you're there, would you pick up some of that nice green moon money for me-"
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"- Royce McCutcheon. - No deal, McCutcheon. That moon money is mine!"
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"Now, folks, I don't want to alarm you..."
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"but scientists say 40% of America's pictures are hanging crooked."
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"- No! - [Murmuring]"
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"Yeah. It's true. And I hear you asking..."
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""Who's gonna straighten out all these artistic abominations?""
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"Your friends? A neighbor?"
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"Those fat cats in Washington? [Laughs] Good luck."
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"Hey, you know, maybe no one'll notice."
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"Maybe the problem will just fix itself."
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"Now you're the one who's being naive."
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"Okay, fair enough. But you sound like you're ready to become your own boss..."
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"in the exciting world of frame nudging."
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"Yes. For a minimal franchise fee..."
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"you'll receive a pair of straightening gloves..."
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"a canister of wall lubricant..."
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"and a booklet of the most commonly asked questions you will hear..."
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"including, "Who are you?" and "What are you doing here?""
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"[Sighs] I don't want to own my own business."
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"I don't know why I came here in the first place."
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"- Hello, Helen. - Marge."
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"- Edna. - Marge."
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"- It means lamb. Lamb of God. - I'm sorry, Agnes."
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"Marge."
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