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Clips from 30 Rock - Kidney Now! (S03E03)

"- You know what the kidney does? - Of course."
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"and with my kidney he could finish it."
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"He's too old for the waiting list, since Giuliani left it's gotten tougher"
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"So it's up to me, and I don't want to be a match."
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"- Does that make me a bad person? - Of course not."
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"That's not helpful."
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"Episode 322: "Kidney Now!""
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"- That show is the worst. - I know."
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"- And I was like, "talk to the hand". - Jenna, come on out."
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"Kidney transplantation is no laughing matter."
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"Kidney's just such a funny word."
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"- Who knows? - You know what?"
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"I'd really be more comfortable if you rewrote the form."
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"But you're clear"
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"I think it's the hard "k" sound that's making me giggle."
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"And they said you could drop up to five f-bombs."
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"Grizz knows. He was there."
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"Campbell wanted me to cut him open."
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"Science was my most favorite subject. Especially the Old Testament."
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"That skit was crazy."
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"- That actually happened to Liz. - Vontella don't care who Liz is."
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"Jenna, we have a surprise for you."
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"I swear to God, Courtney, I will rip your wig off."
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"This guy I'm dating owns a tanning salon but he won't let me tan for free,"
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"but he lets girls with tan for free,"
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"And a lot since then."
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"He's not Tom Brady. Shut it down. Dealbreaker."
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"I think you guys are gonna make it."
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"Yes, he was."
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"- What frog? - I know you couldn't do it,"
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"And I never have!"
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"I was just callin' y'all a bunch of racists."
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"I'm never going back to Frank Lucas high school"
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"to be reminded of my greatest failure."
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"and a gun... That I lost!"
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"We let things fester until they erupt in inappropriate anger,"
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"There's a great sports memorabilia store on Third Avenue."
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"- We're having a catch. - Don't ruin it."
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"This is great."
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"- do you? - I grew up with that guy."
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"Isn't that a message those kids at your old high school should hear?"
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"You're right, Ken. They should."
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"Jack, it's Leo."
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"I got the results of your blood work back."
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""in lyses of cells.""
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"In layman's terms, what do you think that means?"
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""Due to negative blood tissue match,"
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"That's not what this forms say."
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"- Where are you gonna get a kidney from? - I don't know, but I have"
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"the entire liberal media establishment at my disposal."
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"Great job, by the way. I haven't seen that many riled-up dirtbags"
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"You've got two more years, at best."
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"- I just had my driver drop me off. - So how come I saw you"
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"you can solve?"
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"Let me get this straight. You want us to do a charity concert for one guy?"
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"Let's cut to the chase. M.J., you owe me."
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"international art thief?"
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"S that d. Shut it down. Dealbreaker."
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"I almost didn't make it here this afternoon."
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"So I'd like to take a moment to thank"
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"person in this room..."
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"OK, but I'm allergic to horses."
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"It is my pleasure to award you"
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"Congratulations."
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"Take a breath, Mr. Jordan."
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"So you can see how important this is to me."
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"- Are you in? - I'm in. I think it'll be fun."
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"I'm in, but when Costello's not lookin' I'm gonna punch him in the head."
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"Rokus and... Shandelay."
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"And I'm the only one whose hands are big enough to guide the bull during mating."
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"You know why I get a hotel room? To poop in peace."
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"It's my time!"
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"Every Tuesday and Thursday"
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"TGS has two years left, tops."
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"How'm I gonna live? I only have $300 million."
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"- And I was at "We Are The Pizza". - I thought I had to do something."
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"Once I found I wasn't a match, I felt like I'd let you down."
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"High school graduate."
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"We're goin' to college!"
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"the craziest summer of my life."
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"How'd you say that without movin' your mouth?"
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"and I have this weird, loose feeling in my shoulders."
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"You're getting yours."
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"I called in every favor I had."
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"We're live in three..."
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"So give the gift of giving"
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"To a father or a dad"
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"We hear it doesn't really hurt that bad"
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"And we really only need half"
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"We all believe in this cause so much that we're doin' it for free."
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"- How is this different? - If you had two dogs attackin' you"
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"- You'd want just one - There, we proved our point"
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"He needs a kidney"
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"A hand would be an even harder thing"
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"We sure had quite a year."
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"I was a kidney in my fifth grade school play."
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"I'm a kidney"
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"- The other kidney is singing now. - Milton needs a kidney."
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"- Milton, as in your dad? - My dad? I don't know this guy."
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"- What're you gonna do? - Don't know."
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"to harvest hobo organs."
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"It's too much."
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"I need your help."
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"The brain helps you make decisions"
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"And your colon pushes out..."
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"Sorry."
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"So, NBC is making me go on the Vontella show to promote TGS."
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"- Gimme my money, you bitch! - Never!"
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"They want me as a relationship expert because of the "dealbreakers" sketch."
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"And since you're the face of "dealbreakers", you're going with me."
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"- What? No, come on. - I thought you wanted the attention."
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"Yeah, but not like that. Remember the other time you were on?"
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"- You give me back my man, bitch! - Never!"
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"- Can't we just keep doing magazines? - I will see you on Vontella."
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"So, I apologize."
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"- How long is this going to take, Leo? - This is the consent form"
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"for the test today."
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"This is incorrect, doctor, I'm not giving him a kidney."
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"- It's the other way around. - Brother."
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"Are you sure?"
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