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Clips from The Simpsons - Itchy & Scratchy Land (S06E06)

"Itchy and Scratchy Land"
The Simpsons
"Thanks, kids. Now I'd like to speak to you seriously for a moment."
The Simpsons
"The violentest place on Earth."
The Simpsons
"...so we'll have a lot of wonderful memories of our vacation."
The Simpsons
"Don't worry, Mom. We'll make you proud of us."
The Simpsons
"Well, I'm packed."
The Simpsons
"- Okay, bye-bye. - Bye, Grampa."
The Simpsons
"The interstate. Fasten your seatbelts, kids."
The Simpsons
"We don't need to do that, Marge. I'm not tired. I'm not tired at all."
The Simpsons
"Possibly go wrong."
The Simpsons
"- Do it, Dad. - Well, okay. If it's fun."
The Simpsons
"Hey, look over there."
The Simpsons
"...and already I'm mortified beyond belief by your embarrassing behavior."
The Simpsons
"I was just ordering a cheeseburger. They have violent names for everything here."
The Simpsons
"Oh, I see. All right."
The Simpsons
"...Searing Gas Pain Land, Unnecessary Surgery Land."
The Simpsons
"Oh, look. It's the 12 noon robot parade."
The Simpsons
"Wow, this is so much like my dreams, it's scary."
The Simpsons
"These are state-of-the-art animatronic robots."
The Simpsons
"Parents' Island?"
The Simpsons
"Hey, the bartender even looks like John Travolta."
The Simpsons
"Come on. "Bort"?"
The Simpsons
"Please kill me."
The Simpsons
"And he in return was beloved by the world..."
The Simpsons
"- Wanna get a snow cone? - Okay."
The Simpsons
"Can you believe I keep getting away with this?"
The Simpsons
"Officer."
The Simpsons
"Another jumper on the roof of T.G.I. McScratchy's."
The Simpsons
"I want all five T-shirts to say "best vacation ever.""
The Simpsons
"I'd be terribly embarrassed if I were that boy's mother."
The Simpsons
"You've got to listen to me. Elementary chaos theory tells us..."
The Simpsons
"According to my calculations, the robots won't go berserk for at least 24 hours."
The Simpsons
"Oh, I forgot to carry the one."
The Simpsons
"- How are you a political prisoner? - I kicked a giant mouse in the butt."
The Simpsons
"Hey, look. This one's coming on to me."
The Simpsons
"Lisa, don't contradict your elders."
The Simpsons
"Who are you to resist it, huh?"
The Simpsons
"Come on, my last paycheck bounced."
The Simpsons
"My children need wine."
The Simpsons
"Yep. This week is the grand opening of Itchy & Scratchy Land."
The Simpsons
"And to celebrate, for this week only, we're cutting ticket prices in half."
The Simpsons
"If you haven't already run to your parents begging to go, do it now."
The Simpsons
"You won't miss anything funny. I'll just be sitting here..."
The Simpsons
"Go now."
The Simpsons
"Dad, remember how you said that going to Itchy & Scratchy Land..."
The Simpsons
"...would be too damned expensive?"
The Simpsons
"Oh, everything's too damn expensive these days."
The Simpsons
"Look at this Bible I just got, 15 bucks. And talk about a preachy book."
The Simpsons
"Everybody's a sinner, except for this guy."
The Simpsons
"But now Itchy & Scratchy Land is cutting ticket prices in half."
The Simpsons
"Can we go, Dad? Can we, can we, can we? Take it, Lis."
The Simpsons
"- Can we? - No, no, no. Ask your mother."
The Simpsons
"- Mom, guess what. - We're going to Itchy & Scratchy Land."
The Simpsons
"No. I've already planned our vacation."
The Simpsons
"We're going to the Highway 9 bird sanctuary."
The Simpsons
"I understand they've installed a new bird feeder this year."
The Simpsons
"It's shaped like a diner. And it's on this really tall pole."
The Simpsons
"Mom, Dad, Bart's dead!"
The Simpsons
"That's right. Dead serious about going to Itchy & Scratchy Land."
The Simpsons
"You know, Itchy & Scratchy Land isn't just for kids."
The Simpsons
"They have a place called Parents' Island."
The Simpsons
"Yeah. Dancing, bowling, fashionable shops, over 100 bars and saloons..."
The Simpsons
"...and a world-class chemical-dependency center."
The Simpsons
"TV Town. Hammock Land!"
The Simpsons
""Recipe-related bumper cars.""
The Simpsons
"Wait a minute. I'm not sure about this."
The Simpsons
"Every time we've ever gone on vacation, I end up being horribly embarrassed."
The Simpsons
"We have a big fight and we come home more miserable than when we left."
The Simpsons
"You have to promise me that this isn't gonna happen this time."
The Simpsons
"- Embarrassed? What do you mean? - Well, our trip to the Amish country."
The Simpsons
"Oh, yes."
The Simpsons
"I can be a jerk and no one can stop me."
The Simpsons
"Even worse was our trip to Sandy Beach."
The Simpsons
"Suckers."
The Simpsons
"Sharkboy!"
The Simpsons
"This year I want us to do things together as a family."
The Simpsons
"And get a lot of good exercise outdoors..."
The Simpsons
"Lobster hat, fishnet Speedo Jr., wheelie shoes..."
The Simpsons
"...invisible-dog leash."
The Simpsons
"...to Santa's Little Helper. Do you want me to write this down?"
The Simpsons
"No. I ain't senile, dad blast it."
The Simpsons
"Wait a minute. What was that last thing you said?"
The Simpsons
"Grampa's Little Helper? What's that?"
The Simpsons
"Which one of you is the mailman?"
The Simpsons
"...or we'll all agree to disband and join other families."
The Simpsons
"Agreed."
The Simpsons
"We're on our way to Itchy & Scratchy Land."
The Simpsons
"Don't worry. I've got an ace up my sleeve."
The Simpsons
"- Dad, can we stop at Flickey's? - No."
The Simpsons
"Oh, my God. What'll I do? What'll I do?"
The Simpsons
"What's the matter with you? We don't have any fruits or vegetables in the car."
The Simpsons
"The whole trunk's full of them, Marge."
The Simpsons
"Hey. Mr. Wimbley, it happened again."
The Simpsons
"Now to absorb some local color through the magic of AM radio."
The Simpsons
"The book of Revelation tells us to watch for the seven signs of evil."
The Simpsons
"Sign of evil number four..."
The Simpsons
"Continuing our sign-of-evil countdown, here's Vanessa Williams."
The Simpsons
"Haven't we stood in five different states long enough?"
The Simpsons
"No."
The Simpsons
"We better find a motel and stop for the night."
The Simpsons
"Glad that wasn't us."
The Simpsons
"North, south. Nuts to this."
The Simpsons
"- I'm gonna take a shortcut. - Homer, no. You're gonna get lost."
The Simpsons
"Trust me, Marge. With today's modern cars, you can't get lost."
The Simpsons
"What with all the silicon chips and such."
The Simpsons
"All right, we're here. Let us never speak of the shortcut again."
The Simpsons
"Now remember, we're in the Itchy Lot."
The Simpsons
"We're now approaching our final destination, Itchy & Scratchy Land."
The Simpsons
"The amusement park of the future where nothing can possib-lie go wrong."
The Simpsons
"One adult and four children."
The Simpsons
"Do you want to buy some Itchy & Scratchy money?"
The Simpsons
"- What's that? - Money that's made for the park."
The Simpsons
"It works just like regular money, but it's fun."
The Simpsons
"Let's see. I'll take $ 1100 worth."
The Simpsons
"- Cool, that is neato. - Oh, wow. Cool."
The Simpsons
"Such a violent motif."
The Simpsons
"Yeah, but it's just pretend violence, which is actually beneficial for children."
The Simpsons
"...we're just as concerned about violence as you are."
The Simpsons
"That's why we're always careful to show the consequences..."
The Simpsons
"...of deadly mayhem so that we may educate as well as horrify."
The Simpsons
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