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Clips from 30 Rock - Reaganing (S05E05)

"Then you're returning them for cash."
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"We're selling back free cakes!"
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"But, Ms. Maroney, that's wrong."
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"And illegal."
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"Well, here's your cut."
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"- But... - Shh."
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"I need a partner to pull this off,"
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"and think of all the good you can do with that money back home."
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"They do need help."
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"And with enough money, they could buy those magic beans"
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"We'd be rich!"
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"Take the money, Kenneth. No one will ever know."
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"On!"
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"Good note. Back to one!"
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"You know him?"
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"Please help me get his line! Fix this!"
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"No. I don't need any more problems to solve. Especially not him!"
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"I know how much the Gipper liked you, and I've failed him."
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"how, later in Reagan's presidency, when his mind was resting,"
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"how they would use jellybeans to convince people that he was..."
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"That's it! I know how to fix Tracy!"
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"Oh, my God, we got it!"
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"I'm sending you some money so you can get your operation."
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"Hello?"
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"They figured out our scam and gave me this."
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"What? No!"
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"I have another idea... for a long con."
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"Kenneth, I know your intentions are good,"
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"but I don't like what this is doing to you."
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"You seem meaner and stronger,"
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"and what if you got a motorcycle and we did it on it?"
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"Are you in or not?"
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"What's the angle?"
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"Who else was on that Thanksgiving float with you?"
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"One last long grift, huh?"
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"But one rule:"
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"Now, who are you and what are we doing?"
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"Ice cream cake-eating contest?"
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"I'll tell Props."
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"No, Pete. I'll tell Props."
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"Okay."
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"Good afternoon. I would like 21 cakes that read "Frajer Reunion 2010"."
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"Isn't it "Frasier"?"
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"I mean, "Frajer"? Come on."
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"Frajer!"
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"We sold the cakes twice! You're a genius, Kenneth."
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"$800 split three ways."
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"Lemon!"
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"Why did you leave? I'm trying to help you!"
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"You can't help me! No one can!"
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"I'm fixing you and I'm saving your relationship. I can do it."
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"Look, sex is a beautiful, natural, and joyful part"
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"- People want that? - This is not helping!"
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"You wanna watch me be with her? Me with you?"
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"Me and both of you without my leg?"
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"You two are pretty uptight for hanging out under a bridge."
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"Sex is horrible!"
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"A day of perfect problem solving!"
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"Gifts have been coming in all afternoon."
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"It's 4:00?"
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"And you fixed me, so..."
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"Yay!"
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"- Send everything back. - What? Why?"
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"I didn't do it. I failed."
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"Stupid Cookie Puss!"
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"We're gonna go go down to Florida, open a medical supply store,"
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"then get Social Security numbers..."
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"Through seduction!"
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"I'm sorry, Sir-Ma'am. I'm out."
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"Because Ms. Maroney was wrong. People did get hurt by our actions."
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"And, yes, my family sure could use a couple hundred more dollars,"
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"but it's not right."
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"A couple hundred dollars, huh? I think I can help you out."
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"Kelsey, no."
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"Now there's only one thing left to do."
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"Beat you out of the Best Friends Gang."
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"I'm gonna break up with him, let him off the hook."
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"That would be a mistake, Lemon."
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"Yes, you are the sexual equivalent of a million Hindenburgs,"
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"you're great."
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"In certain lights you're an eight"
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"Thanks, Jack."
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"Wait a minute."
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"You had your problem with Carol in Las Vegas."
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"- So? - The Tom Jones poster."
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"No kidding. There was one right outside our... hotel room window."
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"Oh, my God."
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"Think back to your college boyfriend. Was there any...?"
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"I mean, the room we were in!"
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"You've got years of therapy ahead of you. Probably electroshock."
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"But this is a breakthrough, Lemon, and a big one."
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"Jack Donaghy, in my book, you're better than Reagan!"
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"I appreciate that, Lemon, but if you ever speak ill of Reagan again,"
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"He's at JFK! I wrote it down wrong!"
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"Fast and only on Saturdays. It's perfect."
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"who later went to clown college."
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"And one time in summer camp I kissed a girl on a dare,"
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"He was the first gay guy I ever kissed."
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"Standing up, what? How does that even work?"
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"Shh."
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"We have, of course, pleasured one another."
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"coined the word "innoventually," he has been flawless."
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"And I'm including sex last night."
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"K-Swiss, I need to cancel my gig"
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"Blonde-like choke me"
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"I hate to bail, but I've been asked to do a commercial"
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"This will put me back on top!"
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"It's just..."
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"Nothing. I don't want to talk about it."
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"Lemon, I've known you for four years."
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"If I could press a button and five people in the world would die,"
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"Sex, Lemon. Coitus. The beast with two backs."
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"I faced it myself with Greta Van Susteren"
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"What?"
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"to replace you."
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"You don't think you're a bit of a prude?"
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"Sex always makes things worse."
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"- Is that sex, Lemon? - It is the way I do it."
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"Oh, that word bums me out"
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"Yes. With my college boyfriend, Joel Sucheki."
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