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Clips from The Simpsons - White Christmas Blues (S25E25)

"Slurp our spaghetti."
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"Die in our hospitals."
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"I say we welcome our winter tourists with open arms,"
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"then gouge the hell out of 'em!"
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"I, too, will gouge!"
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"Duff Beer is proud to make a corporate commitment to gouging!"
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"Man your ATMs. Yar."
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"The one thing Bongo Comics are good for."
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"Are you okay, Chief?"
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"and rolled down a hill."
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"You always think it's the other guy"
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"that'll turn into a giant snowball."
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"Never you."
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"Have you seen Lou?"
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"There's snow in my lungs!"
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"Lot of attitude in that hand, Lou."
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"Lot of attitude."
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""First in Freeways,""
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"Valet parking, five dollars."
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"People, I'm completely out of milk!"
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"I do have several DVDs of the movie Milk,"
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"an inspiring return to form for director Gus Van Sant."
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"No, but I have some home movies of me on a canoe with a big dog."
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"Mmm?"
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"And when you can't afford Christmas,"
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"you've failed as a family."
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"That's what all the big stores say."
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"Excuse me, ma'am."
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"Is there any chance you'd have a spare room for us?"
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"but sometimes it's there and sometimes it isn't."
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"Our house is very odd that way."
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"Please? Please, ma'am? We'd pay you $300 a night."
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"Ma'am, because we talk this way,"
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"Passive-aggressive."
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"Right, right, but we're not."
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"Oh, good. Marge remarried after I died."
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"What's going on?!"
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"Uh-uh. No way. I'm not sharing my bed"
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"with anybody except you."
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"And maybe that guy. Lincoln-style."
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"But that's it."
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"This is a great thing."
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"We're helping people celebrate Christmas,"
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"Oh, I don't know. It won't seem like Christmas"
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"without opening up a giant credit card bill in January."
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"Take a look at this."
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"What the...?"
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"I always wanted to stay in a place like this."
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"But Christmas is a special time."
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"And I like to spend it in the warm embrace"
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"of watching football."
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"Homer Simpson, ask yourself,"
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"What would Baby Jesus do?"
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"♪ But why'd she do it this time of year? ♪"
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"Well, this crazy scheme is the kind of impulsive behavior"
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"I want to encourage in you."
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"Mmm... I'm in! 100%!"
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"Oh, thank you."
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"Now, Homie, table three needs more bread."
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"All girls, please move to cootie quarantine."
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"We've got a two-month-old."
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"Are you sure you can handle her?"
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"What a bland marquee."
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"It doesn't look very inviting."
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"This whole crowd's gonna be at my sermon today."
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"Oh, he wrote letters. Any fool can write letters."
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"Lord, I'm just a small-town minister."
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"We don't have Mormon money."
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"as I type this sermon..."
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"Oh, yeah."
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"Oh, this is black-church good."
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"My friends..."
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"I tell you this holiday is about the birth of our Lord,"
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"not singing Santas and full stockings."
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"You're losing us!"
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"Christmas is not about"
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"what happened in a manger"
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"some 2,000 years ago."
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"It is about what you do for others now."
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"Oh!"
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"Get my the church bulletin."
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"Lovejoy's on fire."
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"Christmas is the Holy Spirit."
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"Ooh, I didn't know there were doves in there."
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"Give with your acts!"
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"Wow, what a showman."
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"I haven't felt this inspired"
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"since the blueberries at breakfast."
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"A brief one."
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"I said a fit, not a fervor."
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"That sermon really inspired me."
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"This whole Christmas has been about money."
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"Oh, are you with the Salvation Army?"
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"What makes you think that?"
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"and come from the heart."
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"I don't know."
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"Christmas didn't get to be the number one holiday"
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"by being about love."
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"Um, when a woman talks, she just wants to be heard."
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"Well, they don't grow on trees."
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"Uh, yeah, they do."
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"Oh."
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"What about our romantic carriage ride"
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"through the snow?"
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"Setting it up."
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"I don't think you're giving them"
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"what they were promised, Dad."
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"Where do the people sit?"
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"Excuse me."
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"This eggnog is terrible."
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"Those stockings are not hung by the chimney with care."
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"And the Christmas special on your television"
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"is one of the worst."
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"We now return to King Winter Feasts On His Children."
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"By the time Princess Summer comes to save you,"
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"you'll all be blood in my beard."
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"Ho, ho, ho, ho."
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"Your own father's beard."
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"How long to see Santa?"
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"How would I know? I'm an accountant."
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