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Clips from Friends - The One with the Memorial Service (S09E09)

"With Emma's chubby little hands wrapped around you."
Friends
"It's okay, Emma. You stay asleep."
Friends
"Step away from the crib! I have a weapon!"
Friends
"It's okay! It's okay, Rach! It's me! Put down the scrunchie."
Friends
"- What are you doing? - Well, I heard Emma stirring..."
Friends
"Oh. Oh, thanks. All right, well, now that I'm up, I'm gonna go to the bathroom."
Friends
"Okay, there you go, sweetie."
Friends
"This isn't over."
Friends
"Wait a second. Why would Ross tell everyone in your class..."
Friends
"Because I told everyone he slept with dinosaurs."
Friends
"Well, that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true."
Friends
"Would you get that, please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day."
Friends
"Hello?"
Friends
"No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife."
Friends
"Yeah. Well, it came as quite a shock to me too."
Friends
"He just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge."
Friends
"And that was a great movie."
Friends
"I'm so gonna get back at Ross."
Friends
"Oh, yeah, this'll show him. Here we go."
Friends
"- What are you doing? - Oh, you'll see, my friend!"
Friends
"I'm dead?"
Friends
"And so young."
Friends
"Well, how you died was funny."
Friends
"Oh, please. Hit by a blimp?"
Friends
"It kills over one Americans every year."
Friends
"Unbelievable. My classmates are gonna think I'm dead."
Friends
"My professors. My parents are gonna get phone calls."
Friends
"You're messing with people's feelings here."
Friends
"You wanna talk about people's feelings?"
Friends
"You should have heard how hurt Professor Stern was..."
Friends
"...when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West!"
Friends
"You've really crossed a line here. But that's okay."
Friends
"Because I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software..."
Friends
"...and a stack of gay porn."
Friends
"That's right. Your coming-out is about to get real graphic!"
Friends
"God, I wish Mike were here."
Friends
"Okay, if Mike were here, what would the two of you be doing?"
Friends
"What are you, animals? It's 4:00 in the afternoon."
Friends
"I gotta call him. Just to talk to him. There's no harm in that."
Friends
"Phoebe, that's how it starts."
Friends
"Why not just a little sliver?" Or, "Okay, just a slice or two.""
Friends
"You know, the next thing you know, you're 210 pounds..."
Friends
"...and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide."
Friends
"Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard."
Friends
"But look, if you talk to him, then you're gonna want to see him."
Friends
"And I know that's not what you want."
Friends
"All right, so give me your phone."
Friends
"- Here. - Thank you."
Friends
"- And now your cell. - Okay."
Friends
"There you go."
Friends
"- This is your cell phone? - Yes."
Friends
"This is your current cell phone?"
Friends
"Yes. It reminds me of a simpler time."
Friends
"Phoebe? Where's your purse?"
Friends
"“Hey! No! - No!"
Friends
"- Give it to me! - You can't have it."
Friends
"- I'll go in there. - Oh, yeah."
Friends
"- Give it to me! - You're crazy! God."
Friends
"Aha!"
Friends
"Damn you, Monica Geller hyphen Bing!"
Friends
"Hey, look who's here. It's Joey. And he brought home a friend."
Friends
"Joey, Emma's right here."
Friends
"You promised not to bring girls home in the middle of the day anymore."
Friends
"No, no, no, it's not a girl. It's..."
Friends
"- ...a brand-new Huggsy! - Oh."
Friends
"Oh, that's so great. Now Emma has two Huggsies."
Friends
"No, no. Oh, no. No, Emma has one Huggsy."
Friends
"The new Huggsy. Huh?"
Friends
"The other Huggsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take him back."
Friends
"You know what? When I was a little girl, I had a little pink pony named Cotton."
Friends
"Make the transfer!"
Friends
"Should I be concerned that a button fell off the old Huggsy and I can't find it?"
Friends
"Don't worry about it. I swallowed that years ago. Hey."
Friends
"Oh, what? I don't think she likes the new Huggsy."
Friends
"- Yeah, but he's the same. - Joey, come on."
Friends
"But he's the same."
Friends
"Aha!"
Friends
"You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that..."
Friends
"...after I've buzzed you into the building."
Friends
"So, Phoebe, why are there men's shoes by the door?"
Friends
"- Those are my shoes. - Oh."
Friends
"Look, Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me."
Friends
"- But I'm actually feeling a lot better. - You are?"
Friends
"What are the chances?"
Friends
"One billion Chinese people, and they send Mike!"
Friends
"I wanted to see him."
Friends
"Damn it, Phoebe, how did you even call him?"
Friends
"There's a speakerphone on the base unit."
Friends
"- Look, if I want to see Phoebe, and she... - This doesn't concern you."
Friends
"It's gonna make getting over each other harder."
Friends
"I'm your friend and Mike's friend."
Friends
"Well..."
Friends
"Sit down."
Friends
"Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Make room for your friend."
Friends
"- So how have you been? - I've been pretty good."
Friends
"- You look really beautiful. - Thanks. You look good too."
Friends
"No, no, no. This is dangerous territory. Keep it clean."
Friends
"So how's the piano playing going?"
Friends
"Actually, I've been playing a lot of love songs lately."
Friends
"- I've missed you. - I've missed you too."
Friends
"And then a pigeon ate it."
Friends
"Hey. Ross."
Friends
"Uh-huh, uh-huh. Check this out."
Friends
"So that's what I'd look like if I worked out."
Friends
"You're not gonna actually send these out, are you?"
Friends
"Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead."
Friends
"Oh, my God."
Friends
"- Nobody cares that I'm dead? - Oh, come on, you know that's not true."
Friends
"What are you talking about? You get 60 responses..."
Friends
"...just for coming out of the closet."
Friends
"I didn't get one response, and I'm dead!"
Friends
"Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community."
Friends
"You think people are gonna disturb your family at this tragic time?"
Friends
"That people are gonna post condolences on a website?"
Friends
"This isn't about people not caring that you're dead."
Friends
"This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief."
Friends
"- You're right. There isn't a decent outlet. - Right."
Friends
"Come on. I'm sure if you had a funeral or memorial service..."
Friends
"Exactly!"
Friends
"Ross, what are you doing?"
Friends
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