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Clips from Farzar - Baz, Bangs, and Brains (S01E01)

"The loser whose ass looks hot as fuck in those tight pants."
Farzar
"Mm."
Farzar
"Oh, shit. I, uh… You know, I think mine's broken."
Farzar
"Broken, like Fichael's pelvis"
Farzar
"when I was riding him in that dirty, dirty dream last night."
Farzar
"[robotic voice] Alert! High level of negative Renzo thoughts detected."
Farzar
"These negative Renzo thoughts are off the charts!"
Farzar
"-And they're coming from the palace. -[beeping]"
Farzar
"I think someone may be planning to hurt Dad."
Farzar
"Oh, who cares?"
Farzar
"All of you will die by my hand one day anyway. [chuckles]"
Farzar
"Yup, she's gonna snap soon."
Farzar
"Hey everybody, I'm Pineapple Charles."
Farzar
"How did Pineapple Charles get in my head?"
Farzar
"Freeze, Thought Police! Who's the scumbag with all the negative Renzo thoughts?"
Farzar
"It was me."
Farzar
"I put on the headset to hear me compliment myself,"
Farzar
"but I thought horrible things."
Farzar
"I don't understand. I love myself!"
Farzar
"No, you don't, you pathetic piece of shit."
Farzar
"You know your bangs are garbage"
Farzar
"and your pecs look like flippity-floppity flapjacks!"
Farzar
"Black bag him!"
Farzar
"Stop it, Mal!"
Farzar
"Dad, I never knew you felt so bad inside."
Farzar
"I don't like this Mega Brain anymore!"
Farzar
"Don't look at me. I'm going to my meat palace!"
Farzar
"[engine revs]"
Farzar
"Who the fuck filled the tank up with KC Masterpiece?"
Farzar
"It runs on Sweet Baby Ray's!"
Farzar
"[knocking on door]"
Farzar
"Surprise!"
Farzar
"The boss is coming to dinner."
Farzar
"Hi, Silah. You're looking lovely… for a cockroach."
Farzar
"Huh?"
Farzar
"It's empty."
Farzar
"Yeah, I drank it on the way over."
Farzar
"So I could look at her face. Ha!"
Farzar
"How about filling it up for me?"
Farzar
"What the hell's up with your house? Looks like a bomb went off in here."
Farzar
"A bomb did go off in here."
Farzar
"What the hell happened to these kids? Ugh!"
Farzar
"Um, also bomb."
Farzar
"Well, cover 'em up with a blanket or something. They're bumming me out."
Farzar
"Anyhoo, I just wanted to make sure"
Farzar
"you weren't gonna quit on me like those other losers."
Farzar
"Oh, do you plan to start paying him?"
Farzar
"Why? Do you want to get your teeth fixed?"
Farzar
"Kidding!"
Farzar
"Well, looks like I've patched things up here."
Farzar
"I'm gonna take a big, old wine shit and skedaddle."
Farzar
"Honey, I know he can be a little much, but deep down, he's really not a bad guy."
Farzar
"[news theme plays]"
Farzar
"I am Eternahead, here with some breaking news."
Farzar
"An anonymous witness has come forth with an election bombshell."
Farzar
"For the safety of this individual, our news team has obscured his identity."
Farzar
"Me not Billy, hey."
Farzar
"One time, Bazarack sneak into Dome City"
Farzar
"and launch many bombs at own people."
Farzar
"One land on house of guy whose name sounds like female tickle spot."
Farzar
"That son of a bitch!"
Farzar
"Hoo!"
Farzar
"Boy, you guys look pissed. Is it because I just shit in your tub?"
Farzar
"Well, that revelation will likely cost Bazarack his few remaining votes."
Farzar
"And, Eternahead, you had something to say, right?"
Farzar
"Thank you, poopy bitch."
Farzar
"As some of you know,"
Farzar
"archaeologists have uncovered some insensitive cave paintings"
Farzar
"that I made 40 million years ago."
Farzar
"I'm sorry that I wrote, "I heart munching dino puss.""
Farzar
"Thank you for focusing on that, and not the fact that I invented language!"
Farzar
"You fucking people suck! Someone roll me to my dressing room."
Farzar
"And if you roll me through gum again, I'll have your fucking ass."
Farzar
"Anything that can make me insult my own bangs must be destroyed."
Farzar
"Barry, how do we shut that Mega Brain down?"
Farzar
"There's a red, comically large off switch right inside that door,"
Farzar
"but since Mega Brain can read our thoughts,"
Farzar
"we'll need someone with an empty mind."
Farzar
"What are you doing, Fichael?"
Farzar
"Wondering if it's illegal to lick a cat's butthole."
Farzar
"Pfft, my brain is so stupid."
Farzar
"If it was illegal, I'd be in prison, dummy."
Farzar
"But to answer your question, I'm here to shut you down."
Farzar
"-I'm just gonna throw a rock at this shit. -No! That's how robots go evil."
Farzar
"-Don't you know anything about science? -[grunts]"
Farzar
"[ominous music plays]"
Farzar
"Must terminate all negativity."
Farzar
"Only one marshmallow?"
Farzar
"This ain't rocky road. This is bullshit!"
Farzar
"Renzo sir, bad news."
Farzar
"Keeno Bampfardor is--"
Farzar
"Back in Farzar and he is--"
Farzar
"Trying to defeat Bazarack in the--"
Farzar
"Upcoming--"
Farzar
"Alien--"
Farzar
"Election."
Farzar
"-Anything else? -Negative."
Farzar
"Clitaris, answer the phone! I need you!"
Farzar
"Fuck you, Clitaris, don't answer!"
Farzar
"You're probably busy dangling a fish over your fat wife's tank!"
Farzar
"I love you. [sobs]"
Farzar
"Take my pain away, candy phone."
Farzar
"[Renzo] Pull your shit together!"
Farzar
"Renzo!"
Farzar
"How did you find me here?"
Farzar
"Turns out, we're neighbors."
Farzar
"Just kill me and get it over with."
Farzar
"Put me out of my misery. [sobs]"
Farzar
"I'm not here to kill you. I'm here to help you win your election."
Farzar
"You wanna help me?"
Farzar
"I can't have Keeno Bampfardor win."
Farzar
"He's an actual threat to my city,"
Farzar
"because he doesn't spend his entire military budget on a goddamn s'more sofa."
Farzar
"You're right. I suck!"
Farzar
"I don't deserve to be Emperor Supreme! Oh!"
Farzar
"Snap out of it, pointy-headed bitch! You think you have problems?"
Farzar
"Look at my bangs. They're a disaster!"
Farzar
"I like 'em."
Farzar
"Well, that happened."
Farzar
"But now we gotta get down to business."
Farzar
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