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Clips from The Simpsons - Diatribe of a Mad Housewife (S15E15)

"That's the best review I've gotten."
The Simpsons
"Seriously, these reviews are terrible."
The Simpsons
"and collaborated on a little project of our own."
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"Marge, I got it all figured out."
The Simpsons
"(GROANING)"
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"All right. We're back to square one. Put on some coffee."
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"(MARGE GROANING)"
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"(SINGING) The Simpsons"
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"(TIRES SCREECHING)"
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"Let's see... I'll have 16 Gravy Scrape 'Ems,"
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"a bucket of Twisty Lard,"
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"and two Super Choker Breakfast Burritos with macho sauce."
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"And mega-size it, please."
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"SQUEAKY-VOICED TEEN: I could also deep-fry the bag."
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"Great. And I'll have a Diet Coke deep-fried."
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"(TIRES SCREECHING) Oh!"
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"Why don't I just pull over?"
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"Can't stop. Krusty collectible toy jammed under brake pedal!"
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"AUTOMATED VOICE: intruder detected. Calling local police."
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"(DIALING)"
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"Mr. Burns, the Department of Nuclear Security"
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"is very impressed with your plant."
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"from bomb-toting Bolsheviks to golden-armed jazzbos."
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"(THUDDING)"
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"HOMER: Oh, no! I hit the grief counselor!"
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"Consider yourself fired!"
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"I had a car!"
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"Mom, can we go into this bookstore?"
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"Well, I could use a muffin."
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"I'm gonna go up to the fourth floor where the books are."
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"(ALL GASPING) Oh, yeah?"
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"Oh."
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"(GASPING)"
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"Esme Delacroix? She wrote To Kiss a Scoundrel."
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""their mansion in ashes, their passion aflame.""
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"End of Chapter 1."
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"But when Willie tries to kiss ya,"
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"you're all pepper spray and fingernails."
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"(CLEARS THROAT) Marge Simpson, long-time reader,"
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"first-time stander-upper."
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"Anyone?"
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"That's it!"
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"And when they talk privately,"
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"we spy on them through this one-way mirror."
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"We'll clean out those stupid Americans."
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"(CHUCKLING)"
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"You'll probably want to talk this over so I'll leave you two "alone.""
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"Did that salesman cut one during the test drive?"
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"(MOANS)"
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"He was my best friend."
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"Hmm."
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"Cool. An ambulance from the '60s."
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"No, we'll never sell this thing."
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"Buy me! I'll do it!"
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"(SIREN BLARING)"
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"Guess what? I quit my job as a used car salesman."
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"Hey, I think it's cool. I can defibrillate Lisa!"
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"Not if I pump your heart full of morphine first!"
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"Kids, kids. Those aren't your toys."
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"They're to keep Daddy asleep and awake."
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"I'm gonna need them on my first shift tonight."
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"Tonight? But I was hoping you could watch the kids while I work on my novel."
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"Slow down, Picasso. You were gonna"
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"start a novel without informing me?"
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"Homer, you left two jobs"
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"and bought an ambulance without even a phone call!"
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"I also fed some ducklings."
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"I'll take the kids tonight and you go to your precious hair appointment."
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"Whatever. But I think you look great already."
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"Thank you."
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"What should I write about?"
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"That's it! A novel about whaling!"
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"Thank you, Scene From Moby-Dick."
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""Chapter 1, starts and beginnings.""
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""'Swim, swim, swim, ' thought the whale, flapping his flappers.""
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"Brownie break!"
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""Mayor Quimby, Disco Stu,""
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""and our fighting men and women overseas.""
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"Time to go back to the novel."
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"Where to, Mac?"
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"You're an ambulance, not a taxi."
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"Hospital, eh? Wow! Everyone's going there tonight."
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"Why don't you just admit you don't know where the hospital is?"
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""as did seven of her 10 children.""
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"When will father return from his whaling voyage?"
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"This family has not seen whale meat for a one month."
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"And for you, good wife,"
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"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I need some dinner stat."
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"And the kids need some CPR lessons."
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"We're not paramedics!"
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"I'll start with the soup,"
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"Fine! Right after this revision."
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""Temperance had to face the unhappy truth.""
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"Hey, baby! I've returned from Portsmouth."
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"Now let me put my tongue down "yourmouth.""
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"The whales weren't biting, okay?"
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"Yeah, yeah. You know everything, don't you?"
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"Now, don't wait up. I'll be at Moab's."
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"But now I need some romance pronto."
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"(CHUCKLING) They were two-for-one at Krusty Home Depot."
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"So I got an extra one for you guys."
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"Ned, that's so considerate."
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"Well, some say being thoughtful is old-fashioned."
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"if they existed, which they didn't."
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"Boy, when you write, you can let your imagination run wild."
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""Temperance was doing the laundry.""
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"CYRUS: My, those are pretty calluses."
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"Well, I could take you on a tour,"
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"as long as my husband doesn't need me."
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"Hey, baby. I know we work together."
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"I've never met a man like you."
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"Prithee, tell me thou art not a Sodomite."
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"Did you promise to be miserable?"
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"Pretty much. We wrote our own vows."
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"Enough talk!"
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"I need to see how you look up there!"
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"Ahh!"
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"(CHUCKLING)"
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"Now, do I dare push "print"?"
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"(BREATHING HEAVILY)"
The Simpsons
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