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Clips from The Simpsons - Diatribe of a Mad Housewife (S15E15)

"D'oh!"
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"MAN: Hey!"
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"Hey-hey! Hey-hey! Hey-hey!"
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"Yes. We're well protected against every threat,"
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"Promise me you'll report this."
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"Please, please, please, please, please, please, please?"
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"(MARGE HUMMING)"
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"I heard an assistant professorship just opened up."
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"At the University of... Psych!"
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""And they tumbled to the heather,""
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"Yeah, when it happens in a book, it's romantic."
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"Did you have any special training to become a writer?"
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"(SCOFFS) Just a class at the Y. Yale University."
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"But anyone with passion can write."
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"If I write a book, will they tell me when it comes out?"
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"I gotta get a job before Marge finds out I was fired."
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"I'll steal the sign and they'll pay me to make them a new one!"
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"Okay, here's how it goes."
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"(CHUCKLING EVILLY)"
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"Well, honey, what do you think?"
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"Let's get out of here. I'm not shaking that guy's hand."
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"(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)"
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"(LAUGHING)"
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"The only thing that works is the siren."
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"(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Buy me! Buy me! Buy me!"
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"Don't you need training for that?"
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"Maybe on Planet ZooZoo."
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"I know. I got your message."
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"I'm writing a novel!"
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"That painting has always sparked my imagination."
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"That's something you haven't seen before."
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"Now let's see if lightning strikes twice."
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"For the third time, the hospital."
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"Dad, you've been driving in circles for 20 minutes."
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"Behold his bounty."
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"Ohhh! It has colored my teeth a healthy brown."
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"(CAR DOOR SLAMMING)"
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"Marge, I'm back."
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"Oh, Homie, I've had the most exciting day."
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"I'll say."
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"then a nice mixed grill with a side of wild rice."
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""She had married a brute.""
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"Ugh!"
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"Now cook up my catch."
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"This story is as dark as those new Milky Way bars."
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"That's a good analogy. I'll work it in somewhere."
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"Perhaps you could show me around."
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"Nantucket is an island?"
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"What do you know? It is."
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"But I think you're hot."
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"(BOTTLE BREAKING)"
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"Let's go!"
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"Nope. Not even a Gomorrahian."
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"Oh, Temperance, I've got an overpowering urge to see you..."
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"With your hat off!"
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"Hmm. I can't. I must remember my wedding vows."
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"(GASPING)"
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"I think my mother had one of those."
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"But like they say, "Snuggling sells!""
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"Mom has expressed herself. We should nurture her."
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"(GROWLING)"
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""Mmm! Blow holes, he drooled." Sounds like Dad to me."
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"Maybe you should let Dad read your book"
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"I suppose I better. Your father's a very private person."
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"(BELL JINGLING) Ooh! Ice-cream truck!"
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"(SINGING) Here in my car I am hosing off blood"
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"Some of it's mine but most of it's not"
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"Homie, I finished my novel."
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"It's really important that you read it and tell me what you think."
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"No problem."
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"Oh, 286 pages?"
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"Woo-hoo! I'm halfway through!"
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""There once was a girl from Nantucket.""
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""And her heart was heavy with feeling.""
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"Let me call the suicide hotline and ask 'em."
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"Did you read the book?"
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"Oh, Homie!"
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"HOMER: Now for that happy period between the lie and the time it's found out."
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"Hello."
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""almost as much as he loves cameras.""
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"Today only, we'll throw in a free autograph. But wait! There's more!"
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"Hello, this is Tom Clancy."
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"Would I say, "if you're hunting for a good read this October","
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""and present danger to your free time"?"
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"If Dad ever reads that book, he's gonna be so humiliated."
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"He'll never see it."
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"No one asked you."
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"Think about it. The boorish husband, the neglected wife,"
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"Marge."
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"(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)"
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"Can you believe that Homer and Marge's marriage is just a sham?"
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"All right, I'll order. I'll have a medium pepperoni."
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"And could you space out the meat"
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"(SOBBING)"
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"(SIREN WAILING)"
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"Apu, do you still have Krazy Straws?"
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"and I'm trying to cheer him up."
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"Oh, Mr. Homer, anything for a cuckolded boob."
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"I mean, a loyal customer."
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"What are you talking about?"
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"This is how you talk when you learn English from porno movies."
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"no useful advice on killing mockingbirds!"
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"It did teach me not to judge a man"
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"Your turn, Mary-Kate."
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""Temperance Barrows stared at the shrimp on the barbie.""
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"Just tell me how much of this is true!"
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"Open this door, right now!"
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"What are you doing here?"
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"Put that harpoon down, Captain."
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"You wouldn't kill the father of your next child, would you?"
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"No, no! Not the new guy!"
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""and the one whale she admired disappear into the ocean,""
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""she realized it was the end.""
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"Dear Lord,"
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"Advice?"
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"Just call me Ann Flanders. Uh-huh."
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"And a backrub can just be a backrub."
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"That's right. I love you, Marge."
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"And I realize now I should show you more often."
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"after falling asleep at the beginning of your book."
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