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Clips from Scrubs - My Bed Banter & Beyond (S01E01)

"and half of the ones that get married get divorced anyway."
Scrubs
"I do happen to believe that love is mainly about"
Scrubs
"Things that wouldn't have bothered you a week ago in a friendship"
Scrubs
"I've always been sure about everything. Sure that I wanted to be a doctor,"
Scrubs
"I don't get that at all."
Scrubs
"Yeah. I think it's gonna be great."
Scrubs
"I believe me too."
Scrubs
"< French TeAm > www.V2.Frigorifix.com"
Scrubs
"You slept with your best friend!"
Scrubs
"This will be a disaster unless you say the right thing,"
Scrubs
"Stop repeating what I say in that weird tone."
Scrubs
"a wonderful mistake."
Scrubs
"Wait, Elliot..."
Scrubs
"I just..."
Scrubs
"I cannot believe you almost let me leave."
Scrubs
"You're gonna pay for that."
Scrubs
"I'm good for that."
Scrubs
"We are really good at having sex. We should take this show on the road."
Scrubs
"My mom would sit in the front row"
Scrubs
"You don't really smile. You just make this face."
Scrubs
"You looked surprised that you were actually having sex."
Scrubs
"- I think I already did. - You did."
Scrubs
"You look hot in that dress."
Scrubs
"It's Basic Instinct, Grandma."
Scrubs
"It just soothes my soul."
Scrubs
"And I really like your nose."
Scrubs
"and when I came back, you said I looked sexy holding a pizza."
Scrubs
"Good."
Scrubs
"See now, you even look sexy holding that slice."
Scrubs
"- I do, don't I? - You do."
Scrubs
"Sometimes I like a little sugar in my coffee."
Scrubs
"But it'll help people. Like those two, for instance."
Scrubs
"Not just the guys."
Scrubs
"Good morning, Dr Cox!"
Scrubs
"We are short-staffed today"
Scrubs
"Instead, you'll be blabbering about your feelings,"
Scrubs
"Dance!"
Scrubs
"It's not just the nurses and interns."
Scrubs
"Don't be that guy, Bob."
Scrubs
"but I remember when I was seven years old,"
Scrubs
"I found a bird that had fallen out of its nest."
Scrubs
"So, I picked him up and I brought him home,"
Scrubs
"My God!"
Scrubs
"Chicks, money, power and chicks."
Scrubs
"cos they're sure not pissing on mine. And as far as power goes, well..."
Scrubs
"Here I am during my free time letting some 13-year-old"
Scrubs
"psychology fellow ask me questions about my personal life."
Scrubs
"So here's the inside scoop."
Scrubs
"- Dude, HFFA. - Excuse me?"
Scrubs
"HFFA? ''Hot from far away'' but up close she's nasty."
Scrubs
"I am sorry I made an insensitive statement about an ugly person."
Scrubs
"where I weigh your good qualities against your bad ones"
Scrubs
"I know where the Todd would like Elliot to be. In his pants."
Scrubs
"- Worse than Joanie and Chachi. - Joanie loves Chachi."
Scrubs
"The Todd is asking Elliot out."
Scrubs
"- I think she'd be lucky to ride my... - Please."
Scrubs
"...motorcycle."
Scrubs
"Gotcha."
Scrubs
"God bless him."
Scrubs
"When I was seven, the only things that I loved"
Scrubs
"were my ColecoVision... and Sandy Lowe."
Scrubs
"She had the body of a 9-year-old."
Scrubs
"I didn't care that much about sports."
Scrubs
"and fell in love with competing."
Scrubs
"That's why I became a surgeon. Every day, you get to step up to the table"
Scrubs
"And if you're really good at it,"
Scrubs
"Are you following me?"
Scrubs
"No. You wanna go out some time?"
Scrubs
"Me and a bottle of Jagermeister."
Scrubs
"it's because I'm a lesbian or anything."
Scrubs
"All I heard was ''lesbian''."
Scrubs
"When I was little, my mom used to have what she called ''episodes''."
Scrubs
"and tells everyone to step aside and give my mother some air."
Scrubs
"You have to understand, in my family, nobody listens to a word anyone else says."
Scrubs
"So when this man said, ''Step aside'', and everyone did,"
Scrubs
"I asked my aunt, ''Who is this guy?''"
Scrubs
"But when I lost my first tooth, and nobody left $180,000"
Scrubs
"under my pillow, I decided to become a nurse."
Scrubs
"- You OK? - Yeah."
Scrubs
"usually takes me anywhere between six months and seven years."
Scrubs
"- You my boyfriend? - Yep. You my girlfriend?"
Scrubs
"- Yep. - Cool."
Scrubs
"Good to talk things through."
Scrubs
"So, if I go like this..."
Scrubs
"I just... I saw all of that."
Scrubs
"Don't be shy. Come here, baby."
Scrubs
"Heaven help me, I love newbie theatre."
Scrubs
"What are you talking about?"
Scrubs
"The whole floor knows. We do. Watch this."
Scrubs
"Laverne, did you know?"
Scrubs
"And Carla?"
Scrubs
"Please. I knew before they did."
Scrubs
"So, there it is."
Scrubs
"you'll hear the familiar sound of no one caring."
Scrubs
"there were two steel mills, three bars,"
Scrubs
"and not a doctor in sight."
Scrubs
"Then my old man set up a shingle"
Scrubs
"Everybody loved him."
Scrubs
"- Tell me we don't look like that. - We don't look like that."
Scrubs
"You guys are just jealous"
Scrubs
"Jealous, my chocolate butt!"
Scrubs
"I put on this tiny negligee. It was so small I took it off my Latin Barbie..."
Scrubs
"When I got home, you were asleep, drooling like a sheepdog."
Scrubs
"You don't have to tell 'em that."
Scrubs
"And if that snowball starts to pick up speed, God forbid,"
Scrubs
"you better tuck and go."
Scrubs
"Why did you do that? How could you think"
Scrubs
"that's appropriate conversation for work?"
Scrubs
"- We didn't have sex. - No."
Scrubs
"Sorry."
Scrubs
"Elliot."
Scrubs
"I am so full."
Scrubs
"- Give me another slice. - Really?"
Scrubs
"I cannot have any more until I work off the last two slices."
Scrubs
"So what do you say? Fat, gassy, bloaty sex?"
Scrubs
"- I'm gonna puke! - I don't care."
Scrubs
"Mr Lewis,"
Scrubs
"we're gonna need another stool sample."
Scrubs
"Not for medical reasons. My robot needs food."
Scrubs
"That laugh."
Scrubs
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