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Clips from Scrubs - My Bed Banter & Beyond (S01E01)

"Great job last night, buddy."
Scrubs
"Good thing you came along. I've been on four since med school."
Scrubs
"Damn it."
Scrubs
"- Things like this happen all the time. - All the time!"
Scrubs
"- It's not a big deal. - it's not a big deal."
Scrubs
"I totally agree."
Scrubs
"If you let her leave, I'm gonna do this all day:"
Scrubs
"I get knocked down..."
Scrubs
"Just say it. Say, ''Elliot, stay in bed"
Scrubs
"and have sex with me until neither of us can move.''"
Scrubs
"Let's do that."
Scrubs
"I was. I mean, four times?"
Scrubs
"Give it up."
Scrubs
"How weird was that this morning?"
Scrubs
"Have you ever been more uncomfortable in your entire life?"
Scrubs
"What movie are we watching?"
Scrubs
"I just know I went to the door"
Scrubs
"For safety reasons, I should go."
Scrubs
"You gotta help me eat this pizza."
Scrubs
"I was not. You were."
Scrubs
"It's hard enough without everybody talking."
Scrubs
"I'm not afraid to show people here how I feel about you."
Scrubs
"for some psychologist's research project,"
Scrubs
"which means you won't be helping patients."
Scrubs
"and what it's like working in the hospital,"
Scrubs
"And there he is now, big Bob-o himself."
Scrubs
"All nurses and interns, let's gather round"
Scrubs
"I guess I became a doctor because"
Scrubs
"ever since I was a little boy, I just wanted to help people."
Scrubs
"I became a doctor for the same four reasons everybody does:"
Scrubs
"But since HMOs have made it virtually impossible"
Scrubs
"Why don't you go ahead and tell me all about power?"
Scrubs
"Check her out."
Scrubs
"That is so messed up."
Scrubs
"- Thank you. - You're welcome."
Scrubs
"Clever."
Scrubs
"Sandy was as fine as a 7-year-old could be."
Scrubs
"I pretty much played everything because I needed to compete."
Scrubs
"It was my drug."
Scrubs
"and go one-on-one against what's wrong with the patient."
Scrubs
"well, I look like this."
Scrubs
"With you?"
Scrubs
"I find you so creepy, I think you should walk around with a bell around your neck."
Scrubs
"I don't know. Because you're cute and you're fun,"
Scrubs
"and I told him to. Plus, there's rumours going around that you're a lesbian."
Scrubs
"You told me not to tell anyone about us, so maybe I just wanna make a point."
Scrubs
"And now I'm gonna kiss you."
Scrubs
"White boys."
Scrubs
"You too."
Scrubs
"''Episodes'' is a flattering term for this thing where she'd sweat a lot and..."
Scrubs
"Let's just say her stomach talked."
Scrubs
"and she actually passed out."
Scrubs
"And everyone did."
Scrubs
"Even screaming at the top of our lungs... nothing."
Scrubs
"And I thought,"
Scrubs
"We don't have much time!"
Scrubs
"After I have sex five times with somebody, I like to have the relationship talk."
Scrubs
"From now on, that is your laugh."
Scrubs
"What?"
Scrubs
"with such wonderful commitment that almost had me believing"
Scrubs
"that you aren't having whiny, neurotic, pale sex with each other."
Scrubs
"Was it supposed to be a secret?"
Scrubs
"And if you go ahead and listen very carefully,"
Scrubs
"I like that guy."
Scrubs
"When the Kelsonoviches settled in Monroeville, PA,"
Scrubs
"and started delivering babies"
Scrubs
"When they couldn't come up with the cash,"
Scrubs
"or a bushel of turnips."
Scrubs
"Jackass."
Scrubs
"This is a hospital, all right? People here are already sick."
Scrubs
"cos you're not the hot couple in town any more."
Scrubs
"I'm telling you, we are so damn hot,"
Scrubs
"last night, when I was home waiting for Turk,"
Scrubs
"While you guys were sleeping,"
Scrubs
"we were up in the kitchen fryin' up some love."
Scrubs
"Relationships? Well, Sigmund,"
Scrubs
"relationships are so fragile."
Scrubs
"...tiny little offence, and it can snowball on you."
Scrubs
"- Especially not on the stove. What? - That is not funny."
Scrubs
"We didn't."
Scrubs
"Come on."
Scrubs
"Yeah. Big one."
Scrubs
"OK."
Scrubs
"I love it so much, I can't stop using it."
Scrubs
"It's not as charming if you're mad."
Scrubs
"You only laugh at your own jokes. You never laugh at anything I do."
Scrubs
"That's not true."
Scrubs
"Hit me!"
Scrubs
"There was nothing funny about that."
Scrubs
"Maybe you just don't know funny. Let me help you out."
Scrubs
"It's for you."
Scrubs
"You know what? You're not as funny as you think you are."
Scrubs
"The shine's off the apple."
Scrubs
"And I'm not talking about the ''Whoa, whoa, here she comes'' kind of man-eater."
Scrubs
"I suck at this."
Scrubs
"- My baby got a strike! - I got a strike!"
Scrubs
"- Turk! I'm dizzy! - Sorry."
Scrubs
"Want me to pick you up?"
Scrubs
"how much my career meant to me."
Scrubs
"I know she's grateful."
Scrubs
"I think that's so cute. I call her Shelly."
Scrubs
"she cries a little."
Scrubs
"You should've gotten a cardiology fellow"
Scrubs
"I'm gonna wait with ya."
Scrubs
"when you're waiting for someone to get better all by themselves,"
Scrubs
"I was waiting to see if she would tolerate her low heart rate,"
Scrubs
"I probably would've called the fellow."
Scrubs
"Always side with the hoochie, Newbie?"
Scrubs
"You hate to see it."
Scrubs
"- Tell you about my girlfriend? - Tell you about my boyfriend?"
Scrubs
"OK."
Scrubs
"Turk makes me feel completely safe"
Scrubs
"And it's all the same, whether I'm with her or with my boys."
Scrubs
"Don't get me wrong. I'm not gonna give my boys a back rub."
Scrubs
"A perfect dismount off her high horse."
Scrubs
"I let stuff go, like when you wouldn't stand up for me with Dr Cox,"
Scrubs
"or when you told everyone we're having sex."
Scrubs
"- When are you letting that go? - You wanna know why I won't let that go?"
Scrubs
"- I thought you were one of 'em. - I thought I was too."
Scrubs
"Relationships don't work the way they do in the movies."
Scrubs
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