Loading...

You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Scrubs - Our Driving Issues (S09E09)

Yes, deeply, deeply weird.

"Yes, deeply, deeply weird."

Scrubs

Are you currently taking any medications?

"Are you currently taking any medications?"

Scrubs

Have you had sex with multiple partners?

"Have you had sex with multiple partners?"

Scrubs

You exercising regularly?

"You exercising regularly?"

Scrubs

And have you traveled outside the United States

"And have you traveled outside the United States"

Scrubs

in the last couple months?

"in the last couple months?"

Scrubs

Yes, I go to the bathroom 10 times a day, which for me is cardio.

"Yes, I go to the bathroom 10 times a day, which for me is cardio."

Scrubs

- Natch. - I recently flew

"- Natch. - I recently flew"

Scrubs

to Bangkok, but I didn't actually get off the plane.

"to Bangkok, but I didn't actually get off the plane."

Scrubs

Right.

"Right."

Scrubs

I needed him for real hospital work.

"I needed him for real hospital work."

Scrubs

Having him move my car, I'll have you know,

"Having him move my car, I'll have you know,"

Scrubs

That's exactly what Trang needed.

"That's exactly what Trang needed."

Scrubs

reinforcing every stereotype of Asian drivers.

"reinforcing every stereotype of Asian drivers."

Scrubs

so don't undermine me. Who's in charge of them, you or me?

"so don't undermine me. Who's in charge of them, you or me?"

Scrubs

anybody you're in charge of, I'm also in charge of.

"anybody you're in charge of, I'm also in charge of."

Scrubs

You see, I'm the boss around here. I can pretty much do whatever I want.

"You see, I'm the boss around here. I can pretty much do whatever I want."

Scrubs

For instance, I can use the intercom to whistle.

"For instance, I can use the intercom to whistle."

Scrubs

from any of my colleagues' awful children

"from any of my colleagues' awful children"

Scrubs

to support their horrible school bands.

"to support their horrible school bands."

Scrubs

I can do whatever I want, and you just have to stand and nod

"I can do whatever I want, and you just have to stand and nod"

Scrubs

Mine.

"Mine."

Scrubs

Ugh!

"Ugh!"

Scrubs

Leave.

"Leave."

Scrubs

LUCY: Even though Dr. Turk warned us about Med Student Syndrome,

"LUCY: Even though Dr. Turk warned us about Med Student Syndrome,"

Scrubs

we couldn't help ourselves.

"we couldn't help ourselves."

Scrubs

Dr. Turk, I've got scurvy and rickets.

"Dr. Turk, I've got scurvy and rickets."

Scrubs

TRANG: That's a walk in the park compared to my early-onset dementia.

"TRANG: That's a walk in the park compared to my early-onset dementia."

Scrubs

Where's my phone?

"Where's my phone?"

Scrubs

DREW: Actually, Cole does have a weird mole on his chest.

"DREW: Actually, Cole does have a weird mole on his chest."

Scrubs

COLE: Man, forget that mole. I'm more worried about the pain in my throat.

"COLE: Man, forget that mole. I'm more worried about the pain in my throat."

Scrubs

The T-Pain.

"The T-Pain."

Scrubs

(COLE SINGING ON PHONE)

"(COLE SINGING ON PHONE)"

Scrubs

That's a bruise, you're just ticklish, and you, my friend,

"That's a bruise, you're just ticklish, and you, my friend,"

Scrubs

you got ink on your tongue.

"you got ink on your tongue."

Scrubs

Stop eating your pens. Cole, the mole on your chest...

"Stop eating your pens. Cole, the mole on your chest..."

Scrubs

Well, actually, the mole on your chest is something we need to check out.

"Well, actually, the mole on your chest is something we need to check out."

Scrubs

So, Cole,

"So, Cole,"

Scrubs

unfortunately, the biopsy shows that your mole is malignant.

"unfortunately, the biopsy shows that your mole is malignant."

Scrubs

You have melanoma.

"You have melanoma."

Scrubs

Skin cancer? Oh, my God, Cole.

"Skin cancer? Oh, my God, Cole."

Scrubs

(COLE SINGING ON PHONE)

"(COLE SINGING ON PHONE)"

Scrubs

How'd you know it was gonna be malignant?

"How'd you know it was gonna be malignant?"

Scrubs

I didn't. I was prepared for both ways.

"I didn't. I was prepared for both ways."

Scrubs

(COLE SINGING ON PHONE)

"(COLE SINGING ON PHONE)"

Scrubs

Hey, check it, I put orange soda in my IV bag.

"Hey, check it, I put orange soda in my IV bag."

Scrubs

I'm like a hamster, yo.

"I'm like a hamster, yo."

Scrubs

Cole, not so much.

"Cole, not so much."

Scrubs

This is serious. You have cancer.

"This is serious. You have cancer."

Scrubs

Lucy, it's not cancer cancer.

"Lucy, it's not cancer cancer."

Scrubs

and dudes who keep laptops on their balls.

"and dudes who keep laptops on their balls."

Scrubs

Well, then, Bob-O, I figured out what's causing the fainting.

"Well, then, Bob-O, I figured out what's causing the fainting."

Scrubs

Men don't faint. We take unintended, decisive naps.

"Men don't faint. We take unintended, decisive naps."

Scrubs

It's just vagal syncope. Nothing to worry about.

"It's just vagal syncope. Nothing to worry about."

Scrubs

That's a relief.

"That's a relief."

Scrubs

So, just fill my prescription for blue steel and I'll be on my way.

"So, just fill my prescription for blue steel and I'll be on my way."

Scrubs

There is one other thing.

"There is one other thing."

Scrubs

they're not gonna let you drive anymore.

"they're not gonna let you drive anymore."

Scrubs

That's crazy. I'm a great driver.

"That's crazy. I'm a great driver."

Scrubs

Hey, what's up? Nothing. I was just about to grab some yogurt.

"Hey, what's up? Nothing. I was just about to grab some yogurt."

Scrubs

(CAR HORNS HONKING)

"(CAR HORNS HONKING)"

Scrubs

I guess I can bum rides. It's good, actually.

"I guess I can bum rides. It's good, actually."

Scrubs

You don't know how many times

"You don't know how many times"

Scrubs

I've been out late and had to pass on that seventh drink.

"I've been out late and had to pass on that seventh drink."

Scrubs

No more Mr. Responsible.

"No more Mr. Responsible."

Scrubs

- What about him? How's he gonna die? - Red nose, beer gut.

"- What about him? How's he gonna die? - Red nose, beer gut."

Scrubs

- Definitely liver failure. - No way.

"- Definitely liver failure. - No way."

Scrubs

Check out his shirt and his callused hands.

"Check out his shirt and his callused hands."

Scrubs

He probably works around a lot of machinery.

"He probably works around a lot of machinery."

Scrubs

I'm thinking nail gun to the head.

"I'm thinking nail gun to the head."

Scrubs

You said that about the nurse who just walked by.

"You said that about the nurse who just walked by."

Scrubs

I think you're overestimating how many people actually own nail guns.

"I think you're overestimating how many people actually own nail guns."

Scrubs

Whatever. That's how I want to go.

"Whatever. That's how I want to go."

Scrubs

- Hello. - Number One,

"- Hello. - Number One,"

Scrubs

I need you to prep some forms for Dr. Kelso,

"I need you to prep some forms for Dr. Kelso,"

Scrubs

and set my DVR to record Big Bang Theory.

"and set my DVR to record Big Bang Theory."

Scrubs

I got to go. Dr. Cox needs me to do a bunch of stuff.

"I got to go. Dr. Cox needs me to do a bunch of stuff."

Scrubs

Cox? You're leaving me for Cox, right now?

"Cox? You're leaving me for Cox, right now?"

Scrubs

- Yeah, is that all right? - No, yeah, that's fine. Go.

"- Yeah, is that all right? - No, yeah, that's fine. Go."

Scrubs

is making me think about my childhood dog, Rascal

"is making me think about my childhood dog, Rascal"

Scrubs

Flats Paws.

"Flats Paws."

Scrubs

You had a dog named Rascal Flats Paws?

"You had a dog named Rascal Flats Paws?"

Scrubs

We got him from a Navajo rescue center.

"We got him from a Navajo rescue center."

Scrubs

I taught him how to skateboard. He was really good,

"I taught him how to skateboard. He was really good,"

Scrubs

until my dad ran him over.

"until my dad ran him over."

Scrubs

- Bastard did it on purpose. - Wait, are you screwing with me?

"- Bastard did it on purpose. - Wait, are you screwing with me?"

Scrubs

Yeah, Drew. That's what I do.

"Yeah, Drew. That's what I do."

Scrubs

and my abusive father just to mess with you. That...

"and my abusive father just to mess with you. That..."

Scrubs

What, just forget it.

"What, just forget it."

Scrubs

Uh...

"Uh..."

Scrubs

No, it's fine. I'll stay.

"No, it's fine. I'll stay."

Scrubs

After our examinations yesterday,

"After our examinations yesterday,"

Scrubs

we discovered a malignant melanoma on Cole's chest.

"we discovered a malignant melanoma on Cole's chest."

Scrubs

He's been generous enough to let us use his case as a teaching tool.

"He's been generous enough to let us use his case as a teaching tool."

Scrubs

- Mmm! Hear that? I'm a tool, yo. - Pal...

"- Mmm! Hear that? I'm a tool, yo. - Pal..."

Scrubs

Drew, he's sick. Let's just let it slide.

"Drew, he's sick. Let's just let it slide."

Scrubs

This slide is a magnified image of Cole's mole.

"This slide is a magnified image of Cole's mole."

Scrubs

How is it different from a benign one?

"How is it different from a benign one?"

Scrubs

Well, it's dark with undefined edges.

"Well, it's dark with undefined edges."

Scrubs

You're dark with undefined edges.

"You're dark with undefined edges."

Scrubs

- That doesn't even make any sense. - You don't make sense.

"- That doesn't even make any sense. - You don't make sense."

Scrubs

Okay, you know what? We'll just move on to the questions.

"Okay, you know what? We'll just move on to the questions."

Scrubs

Dr. Turk, doesn't melanoma sometimes spread into the lymph nodes?

"Dr. Turk, doesn't melanoma sometimes spread into the lymph nodes?"

Scrubs

Well, they caught it early, so that's an extreme scenario.

"Well, they caught it early, so that's an extreme scenario."

Scrubs

You're an extreme scenario.

"You're an extreme scenario."

Scrubs

(LAUGHING) I'm sorry, Dr. T. He just keeps setting me up.

"(LAUGHING) I'm sorry, Dr. T. He just keeps setting me up."

Scrubs

Thanks again, Turkleton, for giving me the lift.

"Thanks again, Turkleton, for giving me the lift."

Scrubs

Hitching rides with students was not working out.

"Hitching rides with students was not working out."

Scrubs

The constant stops at keg parties and strip clubs, they just weren't into it.

"The constant stops at keg parties and strip clubs, they just weren't into it."

Scrubs

But, hey, nobody hustles Bob Kelso out of the champagne room.

"But, hey, nobody hustles Bob Kelso out of the champagne room."

Scrubs

That is my house.

"That is my house."

Scrubs

If I even step into the parking lot of a strip club, Carla,

"If I even step into the parking lot of a strip club, Carla,"

Scrubs

she can pick up the scent of glitter

"she can pick up the scent of glitter"

Scrubs

and vanilla body wash like nobody's business.

"and vanilla body wash like nobody's business."

Scrubs

I'm telling you, it's like she's a stripper bloodhound.

"I'm telling you, it's like she's a stripper bloodhound."

Scrubs

Well, I got to get home early anyway.

"Well, I got to get home early anyway."

Scrubs

I want to read the Internet before they take it down.

"I want to read the Internet before they take it down."

Scrubs

I'm not exactly sure that's how that works, sir.

"I'm not exactly sure that's how that works, sir."

Scrubs

- Damn. - What?

"- Damn. - What?"

Scrubs

I talked through my taco. I totally forgot to savor it.

"I talked through my taco. I totally forgot to savor it."

Scrubs

Show more clips