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Clips from American Dad! - Season's Beatings (S07E07)

"Jesus is always shredded."
American Dad!
"I'm a perfect Jesus! Look!"
American Dad!
"Well, that's just great!"
American Dad!
"Now what am I supposed to burn"
American Dad!
"on my ethnic neighbor's lawn?"
American Dad!
"But I got something even better."
American Dad!
"Fireman Jesus?"
American Dad!
"No. Santa Claus."
American Dad!
"Aw..."
American Dad!
"Come on."
American Dad!
"Look, these Bratz dolls..."
American Dad!
"Last year he gave them to me, for free."
American Dad!
"Okay."
American Dad!
"Attaboy."
American Dad!
"Hard to believe this is the suit Earl died in."
American Dad!
"Um... wha... What is that?"
American Dad!
"It's just... I wanted a kid so bad,"
American Dad!
"and I saw this orphanage and..."
American Dad!
"Hayley, meet our son."
American Dad!
"I named him after my favorite character in literature, Nemo..."
American Dad!
"From the novelization of the film Finding Nemo."
American Dad!
"You adopted a child without asking me?!"
American Dad!
"Oh, my God, I can't believe it!"
American Dad!
"This is crazy!"
American Dad!
"Jeff, take that kid back right now!"
American Dad!
"No! I want a son to carry on my legacy..."
American Dad!
"My Subaru legacy."
American Dad!
"Adoption takes years."
American Dad!
"How did you get a kid so fast?"
American Dad!
"I don't know... End-of-month clearance?"
American Dad!
"They seemed real happy to get rid of him."
American Dad!
"Maybe there's something wrong with him."
American Dad!
"Aw, look, babe."
American Dad!
"He's smiling at you."
American Dad!
"Well, tell him to stop."
American Dad!
"Leave me alone, baby!"
American Dad!
"You're my baby!"
American Dad!
"You're my baby, and I love you so much!"
American Dad!
"Oh, God!"
American Dad!
"Who's that?"
American Dad!
"We're grandparents!"
American Dad!
"Steve was raped by a confused lesbian?"
American Dad!
"Um, let me think about it."
American Dad!
"Hey, you're not a child."
American Dad!
"You can't be here."
American Dad!
"Let me just sit here for a minute."
American Dad!
"No, I'm almost done, man."
American Dad!
"Don't worry about it."
American Dad!
"The Christmas play."
American Dad!
"Good lord!"
American Dad!
"♪ ♪"
American Dad!
"Roger! What are you doing?!"
American Dad!
"Well, you were talking so much about this, it sounded like fun."
American Dad!
"It's not, but it was a good excuse to work on my abs."
American Dad!
"This is sacrilege!"
American Dad!
"You have no respect for this religion!"
American Dad!
"Hey, could you take it down a notch?"
American Dad!
"You're ruining my buzz."
American Dad!
"You're drunk?!"
American Dad!
"Hell yeah, man."
American Dad!
"That's it!"
American Dad!
"Oh, Hayley, stop!"
American Dad!
"Yo bitch-crying is going to be"
American Dad!
"in the background of this entire video."
American Dad!
"But I love him so much!"
American Dad!
"Oh, my God, what happened to you?"
American Dad!
"I sat next to Courtney love on the bus and she sneezed."
American Dad!
"Uh... guys?"
American Dad!
"... when a deranged mall Santa"
American Dad!
"It's not what it looks like!"
American Dad!
"I was defending Christmas!"
American Dad!
"I was defending Jesus!"
American Dad!
"... Santa continued the assault"
American Dad!
"You don't deserve to be on that cross,"
American Dad!
"you lazy, wine-loving bisexual!"
American Dad!
"Are you watching this?"
American Dad!
"I wasn't slurring Jesus, I was talking about Roger!"
American Dad!
"This just in: The assailant has now been identified as..."
American Dad!
"Oh, for God's sake..."
American Dad!
"Stan Smith of Langley falls."
American Dad!
"Dad, it's Father Donovan."
American Dad!
"He sounds punitive."
American Dad!
"Look, Stan, I actually think what you did"
American Dad!
"was really, really funny."
American Dad!
"But Christian leaders around the world saw you on TV,"
American Dad!
"and they've been chewing my ass off nonstop."
American Dad!
"I'm sorry, Stan, but I'm going to have to kick you out."
American Dad!
"I can't go to your church anymore?"
American Dad!
"No, Stan, you're kicked out of Christianity."
American Dad!
"No! Well, there must be some way to get back in!"
American Dad!
"Well, there are three, but they're tough:"
American Dad!
"or kill the antichrist"
American Dad!
"or donate ten million dollars to charity..."
American Dad!
"That's how Jared from subway got back in."
American Dad!
"I'm sorry, Stan, there's nothing I can do."
American Dad!
"Turn in your badge."
American Dad!
"Uh, wait, Stan!"
American Dad!
"Should I grow a mustache?"
American Dad!
"What, uh... what do hookers like?"
American Dad!
"That punch, right there."
American Dad!
"That's the punch where everything went black"
American Dad!
"and I was finally able to achieve orgasm."
American Dad!
"Oh..."
American Dad!
"I've been excommunicated."
American Dad!
"What?!"
American Dad!
"A man without his religion is..."
American Dad!
"Nothing."
American Dad!
"why don't you just find another one?"
American Dad!
"You mean change religions?"
American Dad!
"Sure, people do it all the time."
American Dad!
"Muhammad Ali changed religions"
American Dad!
"and became Kareem Abdul-Jabbar."
American Dad!
"I don't want another religion, I want my religion."
American Dad!
"I know, honey, but the thing is,"
American Dad!
"you already kind of screwed yourself there."
American Dad!
"Good-bye, amusing religious Tchotchkes."
American Dad!
"I'll especially miss you, Christ-in-the-box."
American Dad!
"You're sad for grandpa, too."
American Dad!
"Come here, good boy!"
American Dad!
"Stan, you need to cheer up."
American Dad!
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