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Clips from American Dad! - Season's Beatings (S07E07)

"♪ I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪"
American Dad!
"♪ And he's shining a salute to the American race ♪"
American Dad!
"Audition?"
American Dad!
"Francine, I'm the most devout member of the church."
American Dad!
"When it comes to Christianity,"
American Dad!
"I have no maternal instincts."
American Dad!
"Morning, Father."
American Dad!
"What do you mean? I'm the most devout member of your flock."
American Dad!
"Look, you can't be Jesus."
American Dad!
"He's jolly, he employs midgets, he's real."
American Dad!
"Don't be mad."
American Dad!
"I have grandchildren?!"
American Dad!
"I thought my only chance was if Steve"
American Dad!
"got raped by a confused lesbian!"
American Dad!
"Okay, what do you want, little boy?"
American Dad!
"Don't worry about it."
American Dad!
"Come on, man, I waited in line."
American Dad!
"Get off me!"
American Dad!
"Almost done with what?"
American Dad!
"I want to see this Jesus."
American Dad!
"Yes, my son?"
American Dad!
"And my savior bulge."
American Dad!
"suddenly attacked the church volunteer portraying Jesus."
American Dad!
"Yello?"
American Dad!
"You can't go into any church."
American Dad!
"You'd have to find the holy grail"
American Dad!
"I can't do any of those things!"
American Dad!
"You are officially excommunicated."
American Dad!
"He's the antichrist!"
American Dad!
"Here, have some caramel corn."
American Dad!
"You know what?"
American Dad!
"You guys are worse than Connor!"
American Dad!
"It says six-six-six."
American Dad!
"You have to be absolutely positive"
American Dad!
"If I'm to go anywhere, I need to..."
American Dad!
"Yep, the whole place went up in flames last Friday."
American Dad!
"I can't feel my legs."
American Dad!
"Are they okay?"
American Dad!
"You were right, Stan."
American Dad!
"He is the antichrist!"
American Dad!
"But... you picked the name "Nemo.""
American Dad!
"I also read that, before making it big,"
American Dad!
"and make sure he didn't die in vain."
American Dad!
"and he confirmed that my vision is getting worse."
American Dad!
"It had plateaued at seven diopters, but now..."
American Dad!
"Nemo is the antichrist!"
American Dad!
"But now it looks like it's at nine diop..."
American Dad!
"Hey, Steve, did I leave my swim trunks..."
American Dad!
"We have to find the daggers of Tel Meggido so we can kill Nemo."
American Dad!
"Look for anything that could be seven sacred daggers."
American Dad!
"Jeff, you don't do coke, do you?"
American Dad!
"Oh, good, you're all here."
American Dad!
"I hate to break it to you,"
American Dad!
"but you have a moisture problem in your vents."
American Dad!
"Mene mene tekel."
American Dad!
"and now we have to stab him with sacred daggers."
American Dad!
"and a mushroom flatbread pizza that smells like nut sack."
American Dad!
"Demon grab!"
American Dad!
"I won't let you kill him!"
American Dad!
"Now is your chance to destroy those figurines you hate."
American Dad!
"Oh, no, Greg! They broke the figurines!"
American Dad!
"Any help at all would be greatly appreciated."
American Dad!
"Mene mene! Mene mene!"
American Dad!
"Ah! You dumb son of a...! No, that's not who Roland is."
American Dad!
"Dad, you're awake!"
American Dad!
"Nope. All right."
American Dad!
"So I failed."
American Dad!
"I'm not back in the church."
American Dad!
"♪ Good morning, USA! ♪"
American Dad!
"♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪"
American Dad!
"♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪"
American Dad!
"♪ Good morning, USA! ♪"
American Dad!
"Roger, you've been mixing that eggnog for an hour."
American Dad!
"Just pour it in your pimp cup and drink it!"
American Dad!
"It's almost ready."
American Dad!
"Just need to do the final test."
American Dad!
"Perfect."
American Dad!
"Look at this!"
American Dad!
"Father Donovan's putting on a Christmas play at the mall!"
American Dad!
"They're doing the entire life of Jesus..."
American Dad!
"From baby Jesus to awkward teenager Jesus"
American Dad!
"with a wispy Christache,"
American Dad!
"to the mature and ready-to-suffer Jesus"
American Dad!
"we all know and love."
American Dad!
"Are you going to audition?"
American Dad!
"Obviously, I'm doing the most important role:"
American Dad!
"Christ at the crucifixion."
American Dad!
"that's pretty much your money shot."
American Dad!
"Christianity..."
American Dad!
"My favorite deadbeat Dad story."
American Dad!
"Check it... God fathers this kid and then disappears."
American Dad!
"And then, when the kid becomes famous,"
American Dad!
"God wants him to come live with him."
American Dad!
"Exact same thing happened to Shaq."
American Dad!
"He did a rap about it called,"
American Dad!
""my biological didn't bother.""
American Dad!
"My religion is the very foundation of who I am"
American Dad!
"and I won't have you disrespecting it!"
American Dad!
"You... you have a-a pimple coming in"
American Dad!
"under the skin on your nose."
American Dad!
"I would say it's got two weeks"
American Dad!
"Is everything okay, Jeff?"
American Dad!
"You cried a lot more than usual during sex this morning."
American Dad!
"Sorry, babe, I have a lot on my mind."
American Dad!
"I think we should have a baby."
American Dad!
"What?"
American Dad!
"Yeah, we have so much love to give."
American Dad!
"Plus, sometimes I feel broken inside"
American Dad!
"and having a baby fixes everything."
American Dad!
"Jeff, I don't want to have kids."
American Dad!
"I only have animal instincts..."
American Dad!
"Eating, pooping,"
American Dad!
"lying down before it rains."
American Dad!
"I know you want me to portray Jesus on the cross,"
American Dad!
"and I hereby officially accept."
American Dad!
"Oh, Stan, you can't play Jesus."
American Dad!
"Portraying Jesus has nothing to do with religious devotion."
American Dad!
"It's all about the abs."
American Dad!
"You're too fat."
American Dad!
"Look at any crucifix."
American Dad!
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