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Clips from South Park - Super Best Friends (S05E05)

"Going down to South Park Gonna have myself a time"
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"Going down to South Park Gonna leave my woes behind"
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"Okay, Carol, put the card you picked back into the deck so I can't see it."
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"- What's going on? - Well, this fellow David Blaine,"
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"- That's pretty cool, dude! - Who's this asshole?"
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"Where'd you guys get that ice cream?"
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"- Was that the card you picked? - Yes. Oh, my God!"
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"Pamphlet? Pamphlet? Here you go kids, take a pamphlet!"
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"Yeah, they probably teach you how to do magic tricks."
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"You see, the reason that you..."
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"by the sound of my own screams."
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"Let's read some of the book together, shall we?"
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"- That's right. - Cool."
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"They gave me this cool book to read and I'm already on chapter four."
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"So can I go to the magic camp to learn how to become a full member?"
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"- Oh, jeez, it sure got cold in here. - Next!"
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"I'm not Kyle, I'm Butters. I thought you were Kyle."
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"- Who are you? - I'm Kyle."
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"Kyle, I think we may have gotten into something bad here."
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"But David Blaine's gonna do more miracles in Denver tomorrow."
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"- Where are you going? - I'm going home."
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"I'm not in your way. You are."
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"This whole thing has gotten way out of hand."
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"No, they've just convinced you that he's a brilliant man."
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"Oh, yeah. God damn it! Hold on a second."
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"Okay, now look, dude, I'm getting out of here"
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"Kyle, please. You're my best friend."
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"Hello, ma'am! My name is Kyle and this is Cartman."
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"- Why, even Kyle here is a goddamn Jew. - That's right."
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"I'm so thankful for David Blaine's book, and I'm so thankful that he showed me"
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"Oh, come on. It'll make you a happy person."
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"- Yes, I am. - No, you're not."
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"- But I am. - No, you're not."
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"Okay, now turn back."
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"This is a really good turnout!"
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"eat his own head."
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"These are simple magic tricks."
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"Now how the hell did he do that?"
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"His magic is too powerful, Stanley. I have never seen anything like it."
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"The government has denied our church's request for tax-exempt status."
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"Get your things ready. We leave for Washington at dawn."
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"Jesus, we've been working hard since we got your distress call."
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"Jesus, come look at this. After your distress call,"
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"He was raised in New York City by a decent family,"
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"- The ways of the black arts. - That's right, Semen."
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"It's just me."
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"Dude, I don't think I want to be a part of this any more."
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"- What? - I think Stan might have been right."
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"Yeah, I know what you mean. I don't want to die either."
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"Why don't we sleep on it? If we decide to leave the faction,"
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"It appears this David Blaine is as dangerous as you and your young friend"
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"The Blainetologists are heading to Washington, but why?"
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"- About trying to get tax-exempt status. - Oh, my God."
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"have gathered to commit mass suicide."
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"So to drown ourselves you will need to lie on your stomach, face down,"
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"Next!"
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"Sweet salvation."
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"- That takes care of them. - Now it's your turn, Blaine."
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"Kyle, you can't kill yourself!"
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"Now freeze over the pool so no one else can drown themselves."
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"You don't need David Blaine to tell you how to live."
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"You see, cults are dangerous because they promise you hope, happiness"
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"David Blaine perform in Denver."
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"Yes, brother Kyle, but our work is not over."
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"We must still recruit 10 more audience members"
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"in order to get the prize."
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"I think if we try Kenny's neighbourhood, we might find..."
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"Come, brother Kyle, we have no time for him."
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"You better watch yourself next time, abandoner."
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"- Hi, Jesus, it's me, Stan Marsh. - Stan Marsh."
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"Of course I know you, my child. Come in."
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"This guy is going around doing magic tricks and saying they're miracles."
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"My friend Kyle thinks he's totally awesome."
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"You are good to bring this to my attention, Stan."
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"- Cults are a very dangerous thing. - I read in the Bible"
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"that you perform miracles, too. If you could go in front of these people"
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"and do your miracles, then they'll all see that David Blaine isn't so special."
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"The miracle I am most famous for is turning water into wine."
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"Can you do it again?"
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"Very well, I shall perform the miracle. Behold!"
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"Here you can see ordinary water! Clear, clean."
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"Okay, now turn around. Turn around..."
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"It is now wine!"
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"- That's it? That's how you did that trick? - Well, yeah."
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"That trick sucks, Jesus."
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"Dude, we have to do something."
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"This guy is performing more miracles in Denver tonight."
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"He's going to get more followers"
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"- Then let's go. - But, dude, I don't think you should do"
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"that lame water-to-wine trick."
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"Oh, don't worry, I have a few more miracles up my sleeve."
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"And now, ladies and gentlemen, David Blaine!"
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"- Hello, my children. - Ladies and gentlemen."
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"May we have silence please as magician David Blaine will now"
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"Dude! No way!"
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"Thank you, everyone. Our organisation grows larger every day."
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"Soon the government will even have to give us tax-exempt status"
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"- as a bona fide religion. - Hold."
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"- It's Jesus! - What's he doing here?"
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"My children, it is time for you to go home"
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"and stop following this false prophet."
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"You should be using your money and time for other things."
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"His magic is interesting, but will it put food on your table?"
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"Feeding the hungry, now that is a miracle."
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"Behold, I have here five loaves of bread and three fish."
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"Certainly not enough to feed this entire crowd. But now, turn around..."
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"Turn around."
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"Okay, now turn back."
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"Wow!"
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"Your magic is old and outdated, Jesus."
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"- Just like you are. - Oh, really?"
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"Then what's this ace of spades doing behind your ear?"
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"- Wow! - No way!"
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"- Jesus Christ! - He's incredible!"
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"The old religions have failed you!"
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"What have they offered except for war, poverty and sadness?"
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"Blainetology offers you the key to living your life to the fullest!"
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"- Will you join us? - Yes!"
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"- Then what are we going to do? - I cannot face him alone."
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"We must get the help of all the Super Best Friends."
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