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Clips from American Dad! - Permanent Record Wrecker (S09E09)

"This is amazing."
American Dad!
"Park on the street!"
American Dad!
"I am so sick of this crap, Alan!"
American Dad!
"You're ruining my thing!"
American Dad!
"I'm sorry, it's over."
American Dad!
"But it's not you."
American Dad!
"It's your body."
American Dad!
"Hey, knock that off!"
American Dad!
"I'm dumping this girl,"
American Dad!
"and your sad music is making her cry."
American Dad!
"I do. In fact, I'm surprised your crappy playing"
American Dad!
"hasn't driven everyone in this place to tears."
American Dad!
"Oh, yeah? Well, why don't you come up here"
American Dad!
"I don't even play guitar."
American Dad!
"But you suck so hard, I bet I could"
American Dad!
"be better than you in a week."
American Dad!
"Donald! It's okay."
American Dad!
"Wait, if you don't play,"
American Dad!
"why are you wearing a Martin Guitar T-shirt?"
American Dad!
"That's 'cause I'm a hipster, dumbass."
American Dad!
"We pretend to be stuff."
American Dad!
"All right, Mr. Hip."
American Dad!
"and let's see who's better."
American Dad!
"See you in a week, Mr. Hip."
American Dad!
"Your name's Jamal? But you're white."
American Dad!
"Is this really the first time"
American Dad!
"you've had this conversation?"
American Dad!
"What do you think's going on?"
American Dad!
"Either they're making budget cuts"
American Dad!
"or all our parents got in a car accident again."
American Dad!
"Sir, am I getting fired?"
American Dad!
"I'd say "sacked.""
American Dad!
"Because that's more what Austin Powers would say."
American Dad!
"I do a great Austin Powers impression."
American Dad!
"You're sacked, baby!"
American Dad!
"Oh, no, what you do is important."
American Dad!
"I just found someone who will do it cheaper."
American Dad!
"Meet Agent Gary."
American Dad!
"Gary's a half-wit."
American Dad!
"But he only costs half as much."
American Dad!
"Gary, stop rubbing the stapler on your pants."
American Dad!
"So, that's it?"
American Dad!
"I'm out of a job just like that?"
American Dad!
"Yup, it's pretty crazy how life can change so quickly."
American Dad!
"Here's another example of how life can change so quickly."
American Dad!
"Ha-hey! Am I in time for a show?"
American Dad!
"No, I challenged some dick to a guitar duel."
American Dad!
"Now get out of here, I need to practice."
American Dad!
"Go play in your attic if you don't want an audience."
American Dad!
"Stairs."
American Dad!
"All right, how hard could this be?"
American Dad!
"The shape is pretty self-explanatory."
American Dad!
"Roger, I-I thought you knew how to play the guitar."
American Dad!
"I used to."
American Dad!
"But you know the part of your brain that deals with music?"
American Dad!
"I took some PCP and just destroyed it."
American Dad!
"Hey, why don't you order some DVDs"
American Dad!
"from that Latin guy with the infomercials?"
American Dad!
"That's genius, Hayley."
American Dad!
"Wonder how come I never have any great ideas?"
American Dad!
"Well, I don't know."
American Dad!
"Stairs."
American Dad!
"And the way you opened an entire pack of Starbursts"
American Dad!
"with your tongue was really impressive."
American Dad!
"But I just don't think you're qualified."
American Dad!
""Permanent record"?"
American Dad!
"That's a real thing?"
American Dad!
"Well, if it wasn't, how would I know"
American Dad!
"that in fifth grade you tried"
American Dad!
"to get out of a math test by putting a slice of pizza"
American Dad!
"in your underwear and saying it was your period?"
American Dad!
"That's on there?!"
American Dad!
"All right, first of all, that never happened."
American Dad!
"Second of all, it was a calzone."
American Dad!
"But with a permanent record like this,"
American Dad!
"no one's going to hire you."
American Dad!
"Oh, you know what it must be?"
American Dad!
"My CIA work isn't on there because it's classified."
American Dad!
"Here, talk to my boss."
American Dad!
"over at Buffalo Wild Wings corporate."
American Dad!
"I-I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm sitting here"
American Dad!
"with a Stan Smith, who claims he worked for you."
American Dad!
"Oh, is that right?"
American Dad!
"He gave me the old "Now that I told you,"
American Dad!
"You got to stop telling people, Stan."
American Dad!
"So according to my permanent record,"
American Dad!
"the last job I had was in college"
American Dad!
"sweeping up hair."
American Dad!
"Working at a barbershop shows initiative."
American Dad!
"Barbershop?"
American Dad!
"It was a White Castle."
American Dad!
"There was nothing in them."
American Dad!
"Then get a ladder and go up"
American Dad!
"and stuff the leaves in the gutters."
American Dad!
"Then clean the gutters. But that's..."
American Dad!
"They won't always be clean."
American Dad!
"Full ass, son."
American Dad!
"Wait, Steve, didn't you say"
American Dad!
"someone got fired at the grocery store?"
American Dad!
"Stan, maybe you could take that job."
American Dad!
"Oh, no, no, no!"
American Dad!
"Well, I got to start somewhere."
American Dad!
"Yay, I don't have to get a job!"
American Dad!
"And now this lady's getting tampons."
American Dad!
"This day is crazy."
American Dad!
"I didn't know grocery stores were so sexy."
American Dad!
"So, how would you like to be"
American Dad!
"the new assistant manager?"
American Dad!
"Sir, I've got so much more"
American Dad!
"workforce experience than Steve."
American Dad!
"Yeah, but Steve's been here a month."
American Dad!
"Oh, boy, now I have access to the teeth-whitening kits"
American Dad!
"Well, congratulations, Steve."
American Dad!
"Thanks, Dad."
American Dad!
"This totally blows."
American Dad!
"I worked for the CIA for 20 years, you know."
American Dad!
"You really got to put a sock in it, Stan!"
American Dad!
"I don't like your tune."
American Dad!
"Now, when you're done with this,"
American Dad!
"Geez, why are you being so bossy?"
American Dad!
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