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Clips from Family Guy - Brian Writes a Bestseller (S09E09)

"I just wanna warn you, she's very heavy."
Family Guy
"So be prepared for that."
Family Guy
"- Geez, how heavy? - I don't know, but apparently heavy enough"
Family Guy
"that they felt they needed to warn me."
Family Guy
"Oh, look at this, your book is number three on Amazon."
Family Guy
"Number three?"
Family Guy
"Well, who's number one?"
Family Guy
"Oh, come on, another one?"
Family Guy
"by a ten-year-old's bottom, who cares?"
Family Guy
"I... It doesn't say who the author is, Brian,"
Family Guy
"but I... I would guess that it's probably not that."
Family Guy
"Well, Stewie, I can't tell you"
Family Guy
"how much I appreciate all you're doing."
Family Guy
"I mean, I... I have been so happy with most everything."
Family Guy
"Oh... y... Most?"
Family Guy
"Oh, yeah... Oh, don't even, it's so tiny, those other things,"
Family Guy
"it's not even worth... Oh, my God, you're amazing."
Family Guy
"I've been so thrilled with how you're doing."
Family Guy
"You... You should usually do that."
Family Guy
"That... You should check me in."
Family Guy
"That's like one of the things I was talking about."
Family Guy
"I just have to tell you, I loved your book, Mr. Griffin."
Family Guy
"Oh, thank you so much. You made my day."
Family Guy
"So, you still in school?"
Family Guy
"Graduating this year."
Family Guy
"Well, we'll have to celebrate while I'm here."
Family Guy
"Okay, well, I'll be right back with your key."
Family Guy
"She's so pretty, isn't she?"
Family Guy
"Do you think she liked me?"
Family Guy
"I don't know."
Family Guy
"How... How weird would it be"
Family Guy
"if she just showed up at my room later?"
Family Guy
"I... Pretty weird, I guess."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, were you... Were you thinking of doing that?"
Family Guy
"Sending her to my room?"
Family Guy
"No... Why?"
Family Guy
"Why? Were you thinking of me doing that?"
Family Guy
"I don't even know what you're saying anymore, man."
Family Guy
"Hi, um, I just want to say that I can't tell you"
Family Guy
"how much your book has helped me."
Family Guy
"Uh-huh. What's your name?"
Family Guy
"It's Jan."
Family Guy
"Okay, here you go, Dan."
Family Guy
"Hi. Can you make it out to Kelly?"
Family Guy
"Well, hi there. I sure can."
Family Guy
"You know, I have to tell you,"
Family Guy
"Wish It, Want It, Do It totally changed my life."
Family Guy
"Well, you know, that's what I set out to do with this book,"
Family Guy
"so, you know, I gotta tell you, that makes me feel pretty great."
Family Guy
"This is just a phone number."
Family Guy
"- Oh. - Yeah."
Family Guy
"What do you think of that?"
Family Guy
"Um, I'm not sure."
Family Guy
"- Oh. - Yeah."
Family Guy
"- I see. - Yeah."
Family Guy
"I'm a little creeped out."
Family Guy
"Hey, congratulations, somebody famous now hates you."
Family Guy
"Okay, so, that's enough autographs, I think."
Family Guy
"And remember, Wish It, Want It, Buy It. All right."
Family Guy
"You want to get a book published, don't you?"
Family Guy
"Well... Yes."
Family Guy
"Well, if you want to be in black and white,"
Family Guy
"black and white's gotta be in you."
Family Guy
"God, you know, Stewie, I... I used"
Family Guy
"to think that John Lennon was kind of a jerk"
Family Guy
"for saying The Beatles were bigger than Jesus,"
Family Guy
"I'm not saying I am, but I get it."
Family Guy
"to kinda let the dust settle,"
Family Guy
"I just wanna say that I'm really proud of you."
Family Guy
"Hey, I'm proud of myself, man."
Family Guy
"but it's... It's really about having the courage"
Family Guy
"to just kinda get inside your own head"
Family Guy
"and just kinda poke around in there, you know, be, like,"
Family Guy
""Hey, oh, my gosh, what's under here?"
Family Guy
""Hey, what do you call yourself?"
Family Guy
""Oh, Wisdom."
Family Guy
""Oh, Profundity."
Family Guy
""Oh, Truth."
Family Guy
""Hey, let's, let's all just go hang out together"
Family Guy
"between the covers of a book.""
Family Guy
"I love hearing about your process."
Family Guy
"Hey, enough about me. This was a great meal."
Family Guy
"Oh, good, good, I'm glad you like it."
Family Guy
"They told me everybody comes here."
Family Guy
"Hey, there's Renee Zellweger."
Family Guy
"Hey, Renee, how you doin'?"
Family Guy
"Oh, hi, Brian!"
Family Guy
"She seemed really nice."
Family Guy
"Is... Is everything okay?"
Family Guy
"No, everything is not okay."
Family Guy
"Can you figure out what the problem is?"
Family Guy
"I... I don't... I... I honestly have no..."
Family Guy
"Oh, God!"
Family Guy
"of a restaurant and seeing Renee Zellweger eating"
Family Guy
"in the front room of that restaurant?"
Family Guy
"I am mortified."
Family Guy
"Absolutely mortified!"
Family Guy
"You should know better than this!"
Family Guy
"I... I told them who you were when I made the reservation!"
Family Guy
"Look, I have written a best-selling phenomenon!"
Family Guy
"I should be sitting in the front damn room!!"
Family Guy
"Okay, okay, I hear you, I hear you."
Family Guy
"And I just want you to know that my only goal is"
Family Guy
"to be able to help you better."
Family Guy
"And you being honest with me,"
Family Guy
"well, that's helping me do that."
Family Guy
"So thank you."
Family Guy
"Good."
Family Guy
"Oh, Brian, are you going straight back to the hotel?"
Family Guy
"You know what, I'll just... I'll take a cab."
Family Guy
"Well, at least it's not raining."
Family Guy
"Hey, Brian, welcome home!"
Family Guy
"How was your book signing?"
Family Guy
"Geez, Lois, could I have,"
Family Guy
"like, five minutes to decompress, please?"
Family Guy
"It was a really horrible flight,"
Family Guy
"and I was sitting next to a Japanese guy who had a cold."
Family Guy
"Dear God, he's become a monster!"
Family Guy
"Stewie, I got a flea thing goin' on in here!"
Family Guy
"Where the hell's my Frontline?!"
Family Guy
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