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Clips from The Simpsons - The Fight Before Christmas (S22E22)

"So you're the brown-nosed reindeer"
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"that's jingled all the way to the top."
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"Oh, really? Well, let me ask you this."
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"How many kids bring a gun to meet Santa?"
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"Okay. You got me."
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"No disrespect, fat man,"
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"but you'd better crap out a dirt bike."
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"Close the door, boy."
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"Listen here, Kringle."
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"I may have been naughty this year."
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"But by today's standards, naughty's nothing."
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"I didn't get anybody pregnant."
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"I didn't Facebook a kid to death."
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"Make with my dirt bike!"
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"Kid, this company's bust."
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"For years I've been giving out free toys"
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"and getting cookies in return."
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"It's not a sustainable business model."
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"Oh, come on, man."
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"Things aren't that bad."
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"I'm eating my own reindeer here!"
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"Oh... You win."
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"That's a good boy."
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"You go home now,"
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"and maybe there'll be a nice pair"
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"of work socks under your tree."
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"You don't have to do that."
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"I have socks. I'll give you socks!"
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"Now you better head home."
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"I'm sure in the 25 years of Earth time you've been gone,"
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"your parents have gotten worried."
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"Kids never change."
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"Always dumb as potatoes."
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"♪ When I seen a man chillin' with his dog at the park ♪"
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"♪ I approached him very slowly, with my heart full of fear ♪"
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"♪ Looked at his dog-- oh, my God!-- a ill reindeer! ♪"
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"♪ But then I was illin' 'cause the man had a beard ♪"
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"Pull over!"
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"Hey kid, you ever wanted a train for Christmas?"
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"Why can't they leave a poor tree in the woods where it belongs?"
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"♪ I'll be home for Christmas ♪"
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"♪ If only in my dreams. ♪"
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"Hey, hey, that song goes out to all the G.I.s"
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"overseas and the folks missing 'em here at home."
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"Brought to you by Chesterton cigarettes."
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"Can it really be Christmas"
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"when one of our parents is facing the German army?"
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"Simpson, get your helmet on"
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"I'm trying."
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"It just keeps popping off."
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"You can make it through this, Marge."
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"Just think of Homer."
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"Hey, Simpson."
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"How come you ain't in combat like a real man?"
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"I'm too fat to fit in a foxhole."
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"Kids, remember when I promised to feed us"
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"from that victory garden?"
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"Well, instead, I grew this tree."
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"Don't dare bring that thing in here."
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"What? You don't want a Christmas tree?"
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"That's crazy."
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"Don't worry about that."
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"I love meat and I always will."
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"Mm-mm! That is some sweet pig meat."
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"until last year..."
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"This tree reminds me of your father."
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"It's round in the middle, thinning on top,"
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"and your hands get sticky when you touch it."
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"Simpson, you're shipping out tonight."
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"Right before Christmas?"
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"Hitler doesn't take a holiday."
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"Well, he does, but he doesn't tell people"
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"Bastard."
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"So I never want to see another Christmas tree"
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"Sweetie, if your mother was in trouble,"
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"they'd tell us as soon as they could."
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"Marge is Mia?"
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"She changed her name!"
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"Oh, no!"
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"See?"
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"Every time we get a tree, Mom disappears."
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"Why couldn't it have been me? It still could be."
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"You just have to go down to the recruiting station and--"
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"Huh?"
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"Oh, no!"
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"This is where they took Mom from me."
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"I've been waiting for you."
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"last year, but never took it."
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"I've watered it, kept it fresh,"
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"and every time I look at this blue spruce,"
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"Here, let me trim it for you."
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"And decorate it a little."
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"It's a sign. Mom's okay."
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"Thank you."
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"Yeah. My only sale all year and it's not even a sale."
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"Whose turn is it to cry?"
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"Yours."
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"Quit your bellyaching about Marge and let me read the paper."
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"Look at that picture!"
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"Oh, for cryin' out loud."
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"Huh?"
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"Yes, but then I learned that there's always hope."
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"Someday this war will be over."
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"Someday our mom will be back."
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"Someday TV will be invented, and it will be free."
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"Then it will cost money."
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"But until then, this tree will stand"
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"for everything Mom believes in:"
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"home, family, and constantly sweeping up needles."
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"♪ O tannenbaum, o tannenbaum ♪"
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"♪ Wie treu sind deine bl tter ♪"
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"♪ Du gr nst nicht nur ♪"
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"♪ Zur sommerzeit ♪"
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"♪ Nein auch im winter, wenn es schneit... ♪"
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"I pooped my tights."
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"Ah!"
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"Das ist Hitler."
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"Auf Wiedersehen."
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"This is the last time I bring these two"
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"to bed at the same time."
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