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Clips from The Simpsons - The Fight Before Christmas (S22E22)

"Ho, ho, ho."
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"To celebrate an ancient pagan ritual,"
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"Hey, show some respect."
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"with cold cookies, warm milk, and hot lead."
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"Sugarplum Square, Jack Frost Junction,"
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"Some "express.""
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"You start in the wrapping room."
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"Laid off."
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"After NAFTA, a lot of these jobs went to the South Pole."
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"Kid, you got a lot of shoddy, money-saving ideas."
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"Come with me."
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"Oh, I know what you're after."
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"The toy you never got."
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"You're out of your elfin mind."
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"And I'm gettin' my dirt bike. And you can't stop me."
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"Security!"
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"They're pretty bad."
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"Thanks, kid."
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"♪ It was December 24th, on Hollis Ave at the dark ♪"
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"♪ And a bag full of goodies, 12:00 had neared ♪"
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"This one's yours."
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"Chesterton-- they feel like me, singing in your throat."
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"Ach du lieber!"
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"But as for Christmas trees, I used to love them,"
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"till the last minute, so they can't make plans."
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"But I... oh..."
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"until Mom comes back, safe and sound."
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"Telegram! D'oh!"
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"Oh, my God!"
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"No, that says she's missing in action."
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"Shut up."
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"Your mom paid for this tree"
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"it reminds me of your good old mom."
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"Nein, nein, why did I go to the 9:00 show?!"
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"makes a sturdy and attractive ladder."
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"Now let's make that bed."
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"Shh..."
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"But it's just not the same"
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"♪ Breakfast ♪"
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"Moe Szyslak, house sitter extraordinaire."
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"Ow! Hey, stop it!"
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"Now, remember, pack only necessities."
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"What's wrong, Homie?"
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"Going somewhere, Simpson?"
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"Hmm, your goblin fainted."
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"pop superstar/fashionista Katy Perry?!"
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"Fine, I'll come clean."
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"It's a Christmas miraculum."
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"♪ 30-year average lifespan. ♪"
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"No, Christmas."
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"I-I'll just kiss your belly button."
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"But I didn't say stop."
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"...Βαρύ!"
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"Aah!"
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"Λάθος γιορτή, χαζό"
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"Ho, ho, ho, ho..."
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"Ho, ho, ho!"
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"I could use some help!"
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"Marge, I'm watching a rerun of an important bowl game."
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"And that last touchdown makes it 67 to 13."
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"Maggie!"
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"Lisa, what are you doing?"
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"Marking a crime scene."
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"this tree was cut down"
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"and tarted up like a dime-a-dance floozy."
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"Oh..."
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"Next you'll have a problem with my gingerbread house."
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"You mean your gingerbread McMansion."
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"I'm sorry, but this leg's gonna have to go."
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"You're gonna be okay."
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"It's almost over."
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"Now to take care of the witnesses."
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"Hey, I need those cookies for Santa."
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"At least someone around here's got the Christmas spirit."
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"Yep. Come midnight, I'll be sitting here"
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"What...? For the last three years,"
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"I've asked that rosy-cheeked nog-hog for a dirt bike,"
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"and all he brought me was a zillion lame-o toys"
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"that I immediately broke and threw in this bag."
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"But you wanted those toys."
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"I wanted them till I got them."
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"But this year, I'm gettin' my dirt bike."
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"Even Mac Davis himself couldn't save this Christmas."
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"Great, Mom. Now I lost track of my pump count."
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"One pump, two pump..."
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"Bowl full of jelly, pump lead in his belly..."
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"What?"
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"All aboard the Polar Express!"
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"Direct service to the North Pole,"
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"with stops at Candy Cane Corners,"
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"Fa-La-La-La Lane,"
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"Nutcracker Street, and Hanukkah Heights."
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"We're flying!"
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"Yep, she'll fly, all right."
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"You just got to keep her happy."
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"♪ Strange days have found us ♪"
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"♪ Strange days have tracked us down... ♪"
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"Excuse me, Mr. Goblin?"
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"Elf! I'm an elf!"
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"Whatever you say."
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"Um, look, how do I get to Santa?"
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"Oh, no. Only the top elves get to meet Santa."
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"That'll take you right down."
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"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doin'?"
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"That leads to the daycare center."
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"You take the freight elevator."
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"Isn't this the busy season?"
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"Where is everybody?"
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"Well, who needs wrapping paper, anyway?"
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"Just stick a bow on the toy and you're ready to go."
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"Bow, bow, bow, bow, bing, bang, boom!"
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"to be down here with these dingle-bells."
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"I'm promotin' you to Toy Inspector."
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"Uh, the rest of youse, you're laid off."
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"Scram."
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"I can't lose my health insurance."
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"My lungs are full of candy cane dust!"
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"Hey, you twos can go work for the Easter Bunny."
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"Oh that's right. He ain't real."
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"Like a major airline, but you were here on time."
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