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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - The Tagger (S01E01)

"- A minivan? - A-ha!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You all got a problem with my minivan?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"'Cause my wife doesn't like it either."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"She wanted an SUV, but those things roll, man."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That's a good idea, sergeant. We'll take the van."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"We? You're coming with me?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Sir, with all due respect, I don't need backup."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's not backup. It's babysitting."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"The drug dealer got a B.A. in art history"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"from Brooklyn college."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Interesting, huh?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"How's that interesting?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Well, it's surprising because you would think"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"he had studied... drugs."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Also not interesting. - Excuse me."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I know I'm just a lowly civilian administrator,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"but I couldn't help overhearing"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"As it turns out, my friend here, Carlene,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"is a psychic, and she's ready to help you."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and I have a degree in numerology from the Internet."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- A psychic? - What? She's the real deal."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"E.G., last week, she predicted"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I would have a sensuous encounter"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"with a guy named Mark."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Is anyone here named Mark?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You're good."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Okay, she's had visions which, frankly,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Also, she can get you amazing deals"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"She's assistant manager at Leonard's designer shoes."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I see the color blue... She sees blue."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And yellow."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And I see the letter "L", "R", "S", "T", "W", "E","
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and "B.""
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"So basically, everyone's first eight guesses in hangman?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Thank you, Carlene."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Your entire life is garbage."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"So Holt's coming on my stakeout now?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I made a mixtape with some very explicit rap on it,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and now I can't sing along. You made a mixtape?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"This guy is all over me."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I mean, a Captain on a minor vandalism case?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's insane."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What's insane is how you refuse"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"to get with the program."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"There is a new sheriff in town, Jake."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Well, I like the old sheriff."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I mean, McGintley wouldn't care about a messy desk"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"or all these stupid rules."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Tase, tase, tase, tase, tase... Hey!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What the hell's going on here?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Science experiment."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I wanna see what happens if I taser this cantaloupe."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Okay."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Tase, tase, tase, tase, tase..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yeah!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And McGintley wouldn't care if I was three minutes late"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and he would let you do literally anything you want"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"if you gave him a hamburger."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Did he let you play your mixtape?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Okay. That's very funny."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Get an iPod, man."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I just want to apologize"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"for my fellow Detective's behavior."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I feel that I will die soon."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"She was right. She died two years later."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Your sincere belief in my gift means a great deal."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Vision."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"The woman you love, the one you work with,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"the scary one with the black hair..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Rosa. - Yes?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"She doesn't love you back."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"She will never love you back."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Say "thank you," Charles."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"She just told you your future."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Thank you."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You left without me. You were late again."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"CPA, recently divorced father of two"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"with a dark sexual secret."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- What's your cover? - Angry Captain."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Okay, so you do not like my ensemble."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"to pursue a criminal on foot while wearing man sandals."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"But the sandals define Harvey."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"He's a sandals guy."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Captain, why the babysitting? Why are you micromanaging me?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"instead of running my precinct?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yes. It was a rhetorical question."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I've spent the last 12 years"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"fighting for my first command,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and I'm not gonna let you screw it up"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I put away bad guys. That's what matters."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"showing up on time, wearing proper footwear."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You're gonna have a superior officer"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And when you show me that you can do your job..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Every part of your job... Perfectly,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"then I'll back off."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Okay. Counteroffer."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I give you 50 bucks, and you let me do whatever I want."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Fine. We'll do it your way."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"From this point on, I'll do"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"every part of the job perfectly,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"perfecter than perfectly."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's "more perfectly." You said that imperfectly."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I was testing you. You did perfectly."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Quick update on the tagger situation..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"He is currently spray-painting our van right now."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Police, freeze!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm here."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Already got him. We got him."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Oh, hey, Captain."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Hi, so I was able to procure that $50 after all,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and my offer still stands."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That's how much I actually have... is yours."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"No? Fair enough. I only had 30 anyway."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Well, I guess in order to get you"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"to stop micromanaging me, I'm gonna have to get back"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"to the most important piece of police work there is:"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Writing a perfect report."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Good, I'm anxious to read it."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Anything else, Detective?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Yeah, I'm gonna do one more."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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