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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - The Tagger (S01E01)

Good idea. Everyone?

"Good idea. Everyone?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Oh, it's more than one thing. - Uh-oh.

"- Oh, it's more than one thing. - Uh-oh."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I got him to confess in 20 minutes.

"I got him to confess in 20 minutes."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Here are three cases with sloppy paperwork.

"Here are three cases with sloppy paperwork."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Babysitting. - A-ha!

"- Babysitting. - A-ha!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, look at this.

"Oh, look at this."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I studied art history too.

"I studied art history too."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

you're looking for some missing drugs?

"you're looking for some missing drugs?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I do palms, tarot,

"I do palms, tarot,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And I did.

"And I did."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

science cannot account for.

"science cannot account for."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Vision. The drugs are in a location.

"Vision. The drugs are in a location."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yes, I still listen to cassettes.

"Yes, I still listen to cassettes."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

'cause he was always an hour late and hungover,

"'cause he was always an hour late and hungover,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Mixtape.

"Mixtape."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay, my granny also had the gift.

"Okay, my granny also had the gift."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, I had to put on my undercover minivan disguise.

"Well, I had to put on my undercover minivan disguise."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Say hello to Harvey Norgenbloom,

"Say hello to Harvey Norgenbloom,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You think I wanna be sitting here with you

"You think I wanna be sitting here with you"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, I do take my job seriously.

"Hey, I do take my job seriously."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, so does doing your paperwork,

"Well, so does doing your paperwork,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That's on Harvey. That's not me.

"That's on Harvey. That's not me."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sandal down.

"Sandal down."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Lost a sandal. NYPD, freeze!

"Lost a sandal. NYPD, freeze!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Let me do whatever I want, and the $40...

"Let me do whatever I want, and the $40..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And I'm anxious to restore my status as a lone wolf.

"And I'm anxious to restore my status as a lone wolf."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Just wanna make sure this report for the Captain

"Just wanna make sure this report for the Captain"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

She also made this really depressing prediction

"She also made this really depressing prediction"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Where was it?

"Where was it?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The clothes hamper was green.

"The clothes hamper was green."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

so my boss will get off my back.

"so my boss will get off my back."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay, you know what? I'm gonna put that in there.

"Okay, you know what? I'm gonna put that in there."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We found the cocaine behind a green hamper.

"We found the cocaine behind a green hamper."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Mm-hmm, she said "blue" and "yellow," Charles.

"Mm-hmm, she said "blue" and "yellow," Charles."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, Podolski, just like deputy police commissioner Podolski.

"Oh, Podolski, just like deputy police commissioner Podolski."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and you caught him red-handed.

"and you caught him red-handed."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I even put an "about the author" section on the back.

"I even put an "about the author" section on the back."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like a statue?

"Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like a statue?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and you were also right about Rosa.

"and you were also right about Rosa."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh. Yes, that woman.

"Oh. Yes, that woman."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

what's gonna happen in the future.

"what's gonna happen in the future."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Don't get out of the chair.

"Don't get out of the chair."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

♪ Oh, you're alone

"♪ Oh, you're alone"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

♪ Uh-oh, you're alone for life ♪

"♪ Uh-oh, you're alone for life ♪"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and lets me stay up as late as I want.

"and lets me stay up as late as I want."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

than whether I have a job at all.

"than whether I have a job at all."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So you're suggesting police brutality?

"So you're suggesting police brutality?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You want this collar? Paperwork's all done,

"You want this collar? Paperwork's all done,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He is at my desk,

"He is at my desk,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So I caught him red-handed doing nothing?

"So I caught him red-handed doing nothing?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sometimes, boys just need to be boys.

"Sometimes, boys just need to be boys."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

worth of property damage, though,

"worth of property damage, though,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

that I'm ordering you to let this slide

"that I'm ordering you to let this slide"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This is officially out of your hands.

"This is officially out of your hands."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and I spent over an hour on fonts.

"and I spent over an hour on fonts."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Kinda snazzy, so...

"Kinda snazzy, so..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Have a good one.

"Have a good one."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yes.

"Yes."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Um, Carlene predicted if I get out of this chair,

"Um, Carlene predicted if I get out of this chair,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No charges filed.

"No charges filed."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He's a lucky little jerk.

"He's a lucky little jerk."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Excuse me, sir.

"Excuse me, sir."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I've been an openly gay cop since 1987,

"I've been an openly gay cop since 1987,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You did get hurt 'cause Rosa punched you.

"You did get hurt 'cause Rosa punched you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Move.

"Move."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So much chemistry. I know, it's crazy.

"So much chemistry. I know, it's crazy."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All right, let's get this meeting started.

"All right, let's get this meeting started."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Baby steps, Captain.

"Baby steps, Captain."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ah, Captain. You're at my desk.

"Ah, Captain. You're at my desk."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Just what I wanna see first thing in the morning.

"Just what I wanna see first thing in the morning."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You're three minutes late, Peralta.

"You're three minutes late, Peralta."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Not my fault. I had a plumbing problem.

"Not my fault. I had a plumbing problem."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Which reminds me, I'm gonna need

"Which reminds me, I'm gonna need"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

a new departmentally issued phone.

"a new departmentally issued phone."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, come on, really? I'm a few minutes late,

"Oh, come on, really? I'm a few minutes late,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

so you're gonna call me out in front of everyone?

"so you're gonna call me out in front of everyone?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Gather round, so I can call out Peralta in front of you.

"Gather round, so I can call out Peralta in front of you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay, fine. I was three minutes late.

"Okay, fine. I was three minutes late."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Let's start with the Kristov murder.

"Let's start with the Kristov murder."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It was an amazing solve.

"It was an amazing solve."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You also mislabeled the evidence,

"You also mislabeled the evidence,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

so that confession is worthless

"so that confession is worthless"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

if the sergeant hadn't caught your mistake.

"if the sergeant hadn't caught your mistake."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Here are two pictures.

"Here are two pictures."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

One is your locker.

"One is your locker."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The other is a garbage dump in the Philippines.

"The other is a garbage dump in the Philippines."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Can you tell which is which?

"Can you tell which is which?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- That one's the dump? - They're both your locker.

"- That one's the dump? - They're both your locker."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Gah, I should've guessed that. He's good.

"Gah, I should've guessed that. He's good."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This folder is labeled "undies, dirty."

"This folder is labeled "undies, dirty.""

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So I won't confuse it with "undies, clean."

"So I won't confuse it with "undies, clean.""

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Also, who cares about all these rules?

"Also, who cares about all these rules?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I have more felony arrests than any other Detective here.

"I have more felony arrests than any other Detective here."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You also have more mice living in your desk

"You also have more mice living in your desk"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

than any other Detective.

"than any other Detective."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Algernon.

"Algernon."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You guys, Algernon's back.

"You guys, Algernon's back."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Get rid of the mouse, and get your act together now.

"Get rid of the mouse, and get your act together now."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay, detectives, let's get started.

"Okay, detectives, let's get started."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Santiago, where are we with the Jay street drug bust?

"Santiago, where are we with the Jay street drug bust?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

There are 12 keys of coke unaccounted for,

"There are 12 keys of coke unaccounted for,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

but we just got a warrant to search the dealer's apartment.

"but we just got a warrant to search the dealer's apartment."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Good. Take Boyle and Diaz.

"Good. Take Boyle and Diaz."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Dream team.

"Dream team."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Peralta, brief us on the vandalism case.

"Peralta, brief us on the vandalism case."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, there's no easy way to put this, sarge,

"Well, there's no easy way to put this, sarge,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

but someone has been painting wieners on squad cars.

"but someone has been painting wieners on squad cars."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And apparently, they won't stop

"And apparently, they won't stop"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

until there's a penis drawn on every cop car in Brooklyn.

"until there's a penis drawn on every cop car in Brooklyn."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, that's what he's been drawing.

"Oh, that's what he's been drawing."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

But what are those little round things at the bottom?

"But what are those little round things at the bottom?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That's the butt.

"That's the butt."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The butt?

"The butt?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I assume you have a plan to catch this gentleman.

"I assume you have a plan to catch this gentleman."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Did you just say "genital-man"?

"Did you just say "genital-man"?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Because if so, kudos, and yes, I have a plan.

"Because if so, kudos, and yes, I have a plan."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm gonna plant a decoy squad car as bait.

"I'm gonna plant a decoy squad car as bait."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Meanwhile, I'll be waiting in an undercover vehicle here.

"Meanwhile, I'll be waiting in an undercover vehicle here."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He's already tagged three U/C vehicles.

"He's already tagged three U/C vehicles."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He can clearly spot 'em. You should take my minivan.

"He can clearly spot 'em. You should take my minivan."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

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