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Clips from Billy Madison (1995)

"Night bellboy at the Philadelphia Madison?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"After all your hard work, how would you feel working for some punk kid like Billy?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Could be worse."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Man, I'm so nervous. First and second grade were easy,..."
Billy Madison (1995)
"..but social studies, division? This is gonna be tough."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Man, I'm so nervous. First and second grade were easy,..."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Jackpot."
Billy Madison (1995)
"We're gonna start today by reading a short story entitled ''My Sister Fanny''."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Quiet."
Billy Madison (1995)
"OK, so let's all open up our Reading is Fun books to page 69."
Billy Madison (1995)
"69!"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Class, say hello to Billy Madison."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Hello, Billy Madison."
Billy Madison (1995)
"I said ''Reading is good.''"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Can we start the story now?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"''O... o... once..."
Billy Madison (1995)
"..th... th... there w... was..."
Billy Madison (1995)
"..a g... g... girl..."
Billy Madison (1995)
"- He can't even read. - Cut it out, dude."
Billy Madison (1995)
"''..p... p... p... p...''"
Billy Madison (1995)
"T... t... t... today, junior!"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Making fun of a kid for trying to read. Are you psycho? Do you not have a soul?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"I see your lips movin', but I can't make out your words. I'm deaf."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Want to touch the heinie."
Billy Madison (1995)
"So that girlie I've been chasin'? Turns out she's my third-grade teacher."
Billy Madison (1995)
"First thing she does is kick me out of her class."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Maybe she feels she has to make an example of you."
Billy Madison (1995)
"- Or she's got somethin' up her ass. - That's what I said."
Billy Madison (1995)
"- Poor Billy. - I'm so depressed."
Billy Madison (1995)
"OK, baby. But remember, the offer is on the table."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Uh-huh?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Would you like to try writing some words in cursive on the blackboard today?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"OK. Sure."
Billy Madison (1995)
"OK, how about the word ''dugout''?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"OK, good. How about ''bunt''?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Bunt. B-u-n-t."
Billy Madison (1995)
"In perfect cursive. Any more brain-busters?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Rizzuto."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Z... Z..."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Rirruto?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Those are Zs."
Billy Madison (1995)
"That's not fair! Rizzuto is not a word. He's a baseball player. You're cheating."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Would you like to try the word ''buzz''?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"(children laugh )"
Billy Madison (1995)
"If you're gonna stay home today, you could help me shave my armpits."
Billy Madison (1995)
"O'Doyle rules!"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Please take your seats."
Billy Madison (1995)
"- Who's that guy? - Principal Anderson."
Billy Madison (1995)
"As you can tell, Miss Vaughn is not feeling well today, so I'll be taking her place."
Billy Madison (1995)
"..so I hope you plan on learning."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Now, who can tell me where we are in our social-studies reader?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Bring that note up to me."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Now let's see what couldn't wait till after class."
Billy Madison (1995)
"''If I were him, I would walk my fat ass right into oncoming traffic.''"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Oh, man, Billy, I just thought of the funniest thing."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Billy?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Oh, yeah."
Billy Madison (1995)
"- Why? Do you like her or something? - No!"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Uh, hello?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Um, is this Miss Vaughn?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Oh, hi. It's Ernie from class."
Billy Madison (1995)
"(whispers ) Ask her if she has a boyfriend."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Uh, Miss Vaughn, do you have a boyfriend?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"(whispers ) No."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Ask her if she likes anybody from class, like, more than a friend."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Uh, Miss Vaughn, do you like anybody in class more than a friend?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Ask her if she would ever go out with somebody from class."
Billy Madison (1995)
"- No! - Just do it!"
Billy Madison (1995)
"You see, Ernie, grown-ups like to go out with other grown-ups."
Billy Madison (1995)
"- What about Billy? - You're more of a grown-up than Billy."
Billy Madison (1995)
"(high-pitched) Nothing. See you tomorrow in class, Miss Vaughn."
Billy Madison (1995)
"You blew it!"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Hey, I dare you to throw your sandwich at the bus driver."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Hey!"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Hey, who threw that?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"I'll turn this damn bus around."
Billy Madison (1995)
"That'll end your precious little field trip pretty damn quick, huh?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Hey, I'm tryin' to score points with the teacher today. Don't screw it up!"
Billy Madison (1995)
"I dare you to touch her boobs."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Touch her boobs? That's assault, brother."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Ya double-dare me?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Miss Vaughn, how long till we get there?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"That's all right, Billy. Why don't you go back and sit down now?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Da... I... Accident..."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Mistake... Tit..."
Billy Madison (1995)
"- Go sit down now. - Yes."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Yeah, here we go again. Another treat from the road."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Grand, ripe banana. Trick of the day. Great..."
Billy Madison (1995)
"(woman ) What is a horseshoe? What does a horseshoe do?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Are there any horse socks?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Is anybody listening to me?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Anyways, I am sorry about what happened back there,..."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Well, you're not the first person that's tried to grab my chest."
Billy Madison (1995)
"I'm trying not to hold you to a higher standard than the rest of the students."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Don't worry about it. Next week you're gonna have another teacher to annoy."
Billy Madison (1995)
"I don't want to annoy another teacher, Miss Vaughn. I want to annoy you."
Billy Madison (1995)
"- Miss Vaughn! - Somebody stole all our lunches."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Who would steal 30 bagged lunches?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"I'll tell you who took those lunches."
Billy Madison (1995)
"That damn sasquatch."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Well, I guess that's it. OK, everybody! Back on the bus!"
Billy Madison (1995)
"- Hey, what's with Ernie? - I don't know. I'll be right back."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Hey, Ernie, what's up?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"You fallen in love with the wall or somethin'?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"- I had an accident. - An accident. What does that mean?"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Oh, I know. OK. Uh..."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Don't worry, buddy. You hang tight. I'll be right back."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Hey, look, everybody! Billy peed his pants!"
Billy Madison (1995)
"- Really? - Yes!"
Billy Madison (1995)
"You ain't cool unless you pee your pants."
Billy Madison (1995)
"- Wow. - Hey, man, Ernie peed his pants too."
Billy Madison (1995)
"All right!"
Billy Madison (1995)
"If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis."
Billy Madison (1995)
"That was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go!"
Billy Madison (1995)
"Move it. Get up there, Kyle."
Billy Madison (1995)
"One, two, five, seven."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Move it or lose it. Get on the b..."
Billy Madison (1995)
"I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean."
Billy Madison (1995)
"Well, not me personally, but a guy I know. Him and her got it on."
Billy Madison (1995)
"No, no, no, they didn't."
Billy Madison (1995)
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