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Clips from Community (2009) - Laws of Robotics & Party Rights (S06E06)

I don't know. Some financial prospect that could put the school in the black.

"I don't know. Some financial prospect that could put the school in the black."

Community (2009)

When it's a cat or banana

"When it's a cat or banana"

Community (2009)

or a shirt that makes you think you've lost more weight than you have.

"or a shirt that makes you think you've lost more weight than you have."

Community (2009)

Please tell me that won't be my role in this group.

"Please tell me that won't be my role in this group."

Community (2009)

I have a brain the size of Jupiter. I'm nobody's fourth Ghostbuster.

"I have a brain the size of Jupiter. I'm nobody's fourth Ghostbuster."

Community (2009)

They had to often step back

"They had to often step back"

Community (2009)

- You're overthrowing if I say so! - Nice irony.

"- You're overthrowing if I say so! - Nice irony."

Community (2009)

Can we focus on this? Because now this is happening.

"Can we focus on this? Because now this is happening."

Community (2009)

Now, if I see any race gangs forming, I will have no choice

"Now, if I see any race gangs forming, I will have no choice"

Community (2009)

And we have a very strict no bullying policy that relates directly to me,

"And we have a very strict no bullying policy that relates directly to me,"

Community (2009)

We're all here because we've done some bad stuff, but...

"We're all here because we've done some bad stuff, but..."

Community (2009)

it's like watching magicians bully jugglers.

"it's like watching magicians bully jugglers."

Community (2009)

I was constantly laying groundwork for pop back gags.

"I was constantly laying groundwork for pop back gags."

Community (2009)

and filled the livingroom with lizards.

"and filled the livingroom with lizards."

Community (2009)

Hm.

"Hm."

Community (2009)

Why is he on your laptop?

"Why is he on your laptop?"

Community (2009)

He tried to murder me last night.

"He tried to murder me last night."

Community (2009)

but this is not someone who should be interacting with students.

"but this is not someone who should be interacting with students."

Community (2009)

Jealousy isn't a crime Jeffrey, but costing the school $300,000 will be.

"Jealousy isn't a crime Jeffrey, but costing the school $300,000 will be."

Community (2009)

I don't cotton much to fancy words and book study.

"I don't cotton much to fancy words and book study."

Community (2009)

Same as you I'm sure.

"Same as you I'm sure."

Community (2009)

By talking, by lying.

"By talking, by lying."

Community (2009)

Now, you're born in the dirt, you'll die in the dirt.

"Now, you're born in the dirt, you'll die in the dirt."

Community (2009)

But also the next time a friend comes by with their problems,

"But also the next time a friend comes by with their problems,"

Community (2009)

but we smuggled in a few guests to the party to celebrate with us.

"but we smuggled in a few guests to the party to celebrate with us."

Community (2009)

Pass them around.

"Pass them around."

Community (2009)

Okay, thanks.

"Okay, thanks."

Community (2009)

Put me down.

"Put me down."

Community (2009)

I'm a murderer.

"I'm a murderer."

Community (2009)

He started it.

"He started it."

Community (2009)

Two weeks paid sabbatical, get him out of here,

"Two weeks paid sabbatical, get him out of here,"

Community (2009)

You destroyed my device, and my heart.

"You destroyed my device, and my heart."

Community (2009)

Yeah, I'm going.

"Yeah, I'm going."

Community (2009)

Where's your poop go?

"Where's your poop go?"

Community (2009)

Rules are good.

"Rules are good."

Community (2009)

Thank you.

"Thank you."

Community (2009)

The guy's dangerous and he's manipulating him.

"The guy's dangerous and he's manipulating him."

Community (2009)

I wouldn't mislead him.

"I wouldn't mislead him."

Community (2009)

Dude, we're trying to help Jeff here.

"Dude, we're trying to help Jeff here."

Community (2009)

My script is misleading.

"My script is misleading."

Community (2009)

Parties are stupid.

"Parties are stupid."

Community (2009)

I'm here for the ceremony.

"I'm here for the ceremony."

Community (2009)

I do.

"I do."

Community (2009)

Oh.

"Oh."

Community (2009)

Dean.

"Dean."

Community (2009)

Save it, Jeffrey.

"Save it, Jeffrey."

Community (2009)

I don't mind coming to work here.

"I don't mind coming to work here."

Community (2009)

Wait.

"Wait."

Community (2009)

Bring it on.

"Bring it on."

Community (2009)

Aah!

"Aah!"

Community (2009)

Come on, let's do it.

"Come on, let's do it."

Community (2009)

Okay, nerd.

"Okay, nerd."

Community (2009)

I'll get a better connection.

"I'll get a better connection."

Community (2009)

I think Britta's being arrested.

"I think Britta's being arrested."

Community (2009)

Jeffrey.

"Jeffrey."

Community (2009)

Very well, Abeds commence with world domination.

"Very well, Abeds commence with world domination."

Community (2009)

Why did Frankie call us here?

"Why did Frankie call us here?"

Community (2009)

Nice save. Sorry about that, man.

"Nice save. Sorry about that, man."

Community (2009)

Hm? What?

"Hm? What?"

Community (2009)

Did someone use the word black and now you want me to give you the all-clear?

"Did someone use the word black and now you want me to give you the all-clear?"

Community (2009)

No, I promise, this group does not think that way.

"No, I promise, this group does not think that way."

Community (2009)

In fact, before you got here, they had two.

"In fact, before you got here, they had two."

Community (2009)

and remind themselves that they weren't one collective ray of light.

"and remind themselves that they weren't one collective ray of light."

Community (2009)

Is this a cult? Are you gonna eat me?

"Is this a cult? Are you gonna eat me?"

Community (2009)

No, we're fine, I lived in New York.

"No, we're fine, I lived in New York."

Community (2009)

Speaking of which, mid-terms are over

"Speaking of which, mid-terms are over"

Community (2009)

and I was thinking we could have a party at our apartment.

"and I was thinking we could have a party at our apartment."

Community (2009)

Abed? Annie?

"Abed? Annie?"

Community (2009)

You could have a party. You can't have a rager.

"You could have a party. You can't have a rager."

Community (2009)

We have a rule against more than eight guests.

"We have a rule against more than eight guests."

Community (2009)

Eight guests? That's not, not a rager. That's not a party.

"Eight guests? That's not, not a rager. That's not a party."

Community (2009)

Okay, you have a rule against parties, which I'm sure is a world record

"Okay, you have a rule against parties, which I'm sure is a world record"

Community (2009)

for uptightness, so let's celebrate that.

"for uptightness, so let's celebrate that."

Community (2009)

I'll bring the booze and more than eight guests.

"I'll bring the booze and more than eight guests."

Community (2009)

Britta, you just moved in. You don't even have a real bedroom.

"Britta, you just moved in. You don't even have a real bedroom."

Community (2009)

You're a coucher.

"You're a coucher."

Community (2009)

She sleeps on the couch. She's a coucher.

"She sleeps on the couch. She's a coucher."

Community (2009)

- So I get nothing? - You get a couch. You get a home.

"- So I get nothing? - You get a couch. You get a home."

Community (2009)

There's no government to overthrow here.

"There's no government to overthrow here."

Community (2009)

I'm not overthrowing.

"I'm not overthrowing."

Community (2009)

Hello everyone.

"Hello everyone."

Community (2009)

Don't be alarmed, I'm attending our meeting using what's called a telepresence robot.

"Don't be alarmed, I'm attending our meeting using what's called a telepresence robot."

Community (2009)

I resent the idea that this would alarm me.

"I resent the idea that this would alarm me."

Community (2009)

These bots have been revolutionizing the private sector,

"These bots have been revolutionizing the private sector,"

Community (2009)

and now the state of Colorado has come to us with a unique...

"and now the state of Colorado has come to us with a unique..."

Community (2009)

Seamless, Frankie.

"Seamless, Frankie."

Community (2009)

The Department of Corrections will pay us money, if we allow a small,

"The Department of Corrections will pay us money, if we allow a small,"

Community (2009)

manageable number of inmates to attend Greendale using these.

"manageable number of inmates to attend Greendale using these."

Community (2009)

Now, hold on.

"Now, hold on."

Community (2009)

Are you trying to tell me that prisoners would use these things,

"Are you trying to tell me that prisoners would use these things,"

Community (2009)

to come to our school?

"to come to our school?"

Community (2009)

That's the black guy in every sci-fi movie.

"That's the black guy in every sci-fi movie."

Community (2009)

I'll allow it.

"I'll allow it."

Community (2009)

Wait. Prisoners? Rolling around the school with students?

"Wait. Prisoners? Rolling around the school with students?"

Community (2009)

They'll rape us. They'll rape us all.

"They'll rape us. They'll rape us all."

Community (2009)

They can't rape you, because their genitals will be hundreds of miles away.

"They can't rape you, because their genitals will be hundreds of miles away."

Community (2009)

From each other?

"From each other?"

Community (2009)

This is an attempt at rehabilitation.

"This is an attempt at rehabilitation."

Community (2009)

The prison is looking for ways to expose their inmates

"The prison is looking for ways to expose their inmates"

Community (2009)

to a real world academic environment.

"to a real world academic environment."

Community (2009)

Okay, I've heard enough.

"Okay, I've heard enough."

Community (2009)

I'm responsible for this school. I won't have hardened criminals exposing themselves to it.

"I'm responsible for this school. I won't have hardened criminals exposing themselves to it."

Community (2009)

That's the response they're getting from everyone,

"That's the response they're getting from everyone,"

Community (2009)

which is why the state is offering a $300,000 incentive.

"which is why the state is offering a $300,000 incentive."

Community (2009)

We'll do it. Dean, do it. $300,000 for the school.

"We'll do it. Dean, do it. $300,000 for the school."

Community (2009)

- They're convicts. - They're iPads on sticks.

"- They're convicts. - They're iPads on sticks."

Community (2009)

As someone that got paid to keep people out, let me tell you.

"As someone that got paid to keep people out, let me tell you."

Community (2009)

Hey guys, I'm moon walking.

"Hey guys, I'm moon walking."

Community (2009)

Not every bad guy ends up in prison, and not every prisoner is a bad guy.

"Not every bad guy ends up in prison, and not every prisoner is a bad guy."

Community (2009)

- Who's this guy? - 300,000!

"- Who's this guy? - 300,000!"

Community (2009)

Oh, yeah.

"Oh, yeah."

Community (2009)

Jeffrey you know, ordinarily I'd do anything you say.

"Jeffrey you know, ordinarily I'd do anything you say."

Community (2009)

Do it. Let's do it.

"Do it. Let's do it."

Community (2009)

- Oh, I walked into that one. - Gross, who farted? Oh wait, nevermind.

"- Oh, I walked into that one. - Gross, who farted? Oh wait, nevermind."

Community (2009)

I'm so glad you talked me into this.

"I'm so glad you talked me into this."

Community (2009)

$300,000, look at us running the school together, now.

"$300,000, look at us running the school together, now."

Community (2009)

If I'm running the school, pay me more.

"If I'm running the school, pay me more."

Community (2009)

What if I made you Professor Emeritus?

"What if I made you Professor Emeritus?"

Community (2009)

We could have a little ceremony.

"We could have a little ceremony."

Community (2009)

- Does it pay more? - No.

"- Does it pay more? - No."

Community (2009)

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