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Clips from Transparent - Pilot (S01E01)

"Ali, get over here, you little hooker."
Transparent
"You always do such a good job of getting the food, honey."
Transparent
"Oh, thanks. You can put it on my tombstone."
Transparent
"How many are we?"
Transparent
"Oh, no, no, no, Marcy and I broke up."
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"I'm fine. I'm better, actually."
Transparent
"They would never let me sign a guy like this right now."
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"Look at that schnoz."
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"You could not get that nose on TV today in a million years."
Transparent
"You... you married him."
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"I did, when I was four years old."
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"We had a ceremony."
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"- I'll never be happy again. - * operator *"
Transparent
"♪ see the number on the matchbook is old and faded ♪"
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"♪ living in L.A. ♪"
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"- These are really amazing. - Wonderful job"
Transparent
"- driving up to the place. - Ali, you didn't have one of these."
Transparent
"- What? - Sarah, I'm gluten-free."
Transparent
"Yes, daddy, I'm having problems with gluten."
Transparent
"Yeah, she is. She's having a lot of problems with gluten,"
Transparent
"- with... also with restless legs. - It's restless leg syndrome."
Transparent
"- Also, Epstein-Barr... - Mercury poisoning."
Transparent
"- Chronic fatigue, Lyme disease. - Fibromyalgia."
Transparent
"- She had Lyme disease. - No, seriously, it was documented."
Transparent
"Excuse me, there was a bull's eye in my armpit."
Transparent
"And Ali is one of 'em, but it was temporary."
Transparent
"Dad, you have sauce right here."
Transparent
"Oh, my God, leave him alone. He's mid-meal, okay?"
Transparent
"This is the golden rule. Let him be as messy as he wants."
Transparent
"No, you clean up as you go along."
Transparent
"You guys really didn't ever teach us how to eat."
Transparent
"You realize that, right?"
Transparent
"Because we come from Shtetl people."
Transparent
"Your grandma rose actually ate lettuce with her bare hands."
Transparent
"Dear God. Josh, seriously?"
Transparent
"Oh, my... do something about yourself."
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"I'm eating barbecue, and it's on my face."
Transparent
"I'm not perfect like you. You have flesh coming off"
Transparent
"Sarah is, like, Miss Cleanliness USA 1992."
Transparent
"- you wipe... - Why don't you clean up"
Transparent
"Listen, I have... I... I need to talk to you about something."
Transparent
"Oh, God, I love you kids. I love you kids."
Transparent
"I love you kids."
Transparent
"- It is cancer. Oh, my God. - Daddy, are you dying?"
Transparent
"- I knew it was cancer. - Daddy, are you dying?"
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"- I don't think he has cancer. - Just tell us if you're dying."
Transparent
"Dad, just tell us if you have cancer."
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"Thank you."
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"It doesn't matter how he looks."
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"- You remember Jill Goldberg? - Yeah."
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"No, and if daddy had cancer, he'd have the kind where"
Transparent
"you looked at... like the one... all your friends died of it..."
Transparent
"- Prostate. - Prostate, prostate cancer."
Transparent
"That's the one that you would probably have, right?"
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"Do you kids want me to have cancer?"
Transparent
"All right."
Transparent
"So..."
Transparent
"I'm selling the house."
Transparent
"- I'm done with the house. - I'll take it."
Transparent
"You know how much it's worth right now?"
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"- Well, I... oh, it's cold. - I'm sorry."
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"I'm thinking that you and Len would love to live"
Transparent
"Why do you want to give the house to me?"
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"- Because I do. - This is crazy."
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"She's already got one."
Transparent
"I want a husband to buy me a house and work his ass off"
Transparent
"so I can just go to yoga and just take naps all day."
Transparent
"who gets the house? You both have a house."
Transparent
"- I don't have a house. - You can't have a house"
Transparent
"because you can't handle money, which is proven by the fact"
Transparent
"that you don't have a house."
Transparent
""Proven" is not a word like that."
Transparent
"See, this is why you have to date children 'cause they don't"
Transparent
"- correct your grammar. - I do not date children."
Transparent
"- Yes, you do. - You're a child, actually."
Transparent
"Listen, dad, it would have been really nice if you had talked"
Transparent
"to me about this privately, before you turned it"
Transparent
"into a free-for-all. You know what?"
Transparent
"I have a show, and I love you guys very much,"
Transparent
"Yes, please."
Transparent
"Dad, you don't need all this food, right?"
Transparent
"Where are you gonna live, daddy?"
Transparent
"You know, the unemployment people,"
Transparent
"they just suddenly got my apartment number wrong."
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"- It's fine. - I don't know. Somebody else is getting my money."
Transparent
"Dad, that was, like, six years ago."
Transparent
"It was six years ago?"
Transparent
"Oh. Is that all gone?"
Transparent
"Yeah. It wasn't that much."
Transparent
"Well, I'm always... always..."
Transparent
"Happy to help you out when you're in trouble."
Transparent
"out of all my kids,"
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"you're the one..."
Transparent
"you can see me most clearly."
Transparent
"Probably because we share the depressive gene."
Transparent
"Boy, it is so hard..."
Transparent
"when someone sees something"
Transparent
"you do not want them to see."
Transparent
"Um..."
Transparent
"Well, thanks."
Transparent
"Ali, let's hit it."
Transparent
"Go. You want to go."
Transparent
"- How'd it go? - I... no, I couldn't do it."
Transparent
"My God, I had no idea it was gonna be so hard."
Transparent
"Oh, thank you. I love you too."
Transparent
"Hi."
Transparent
"All he wanted to say was... you know,"
Transparent
"Thought you guys already knew that he was retiring."
Transparent
"Well, yeah, but not, like, when and... I mean,"
Transparent
"you know, he sort of... it was like a confirmation."
Transparent
"Seems like something he could have told you over the phone, but..."
Transparent
"Maybe he just wanted to get us all together, I don't know."
Transparent
"- You're sure it's not cancer? - No, no, we talked about that."
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"No cancer, which is great."
Transparent
"inviting Tammy and Grace over for a playdate this week."
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"Would that be okay?"
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"Of course it'd be okay. Why wouldn't it be okay?"
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"She's that, um, lesbian"
Transparent
"that I went to Madison with."
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"I like lesbians."
Transparent
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