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Clips from Transparent - Pilot (S01E01)

"kind of sound... kind of dirty."
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"What?"
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"♪ operator ♪"
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"♪ so I can call just to tell 'em I'm fine ♪"
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"♪ and to show ♪"
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"Ten more."
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"♪ place this call? ♪"
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"♪ that you just gave me ♪"
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"♪ isn't that the way ♪"
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"♪ if you can find it ♪"
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"♪ and to show ♪"
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"♪ I've learned to take it well ♪"
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"♪ that it just wasn't real ♪"
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"♪ I think about the love ♪"
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"Pervert."
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"No, no, no, no, I stink."
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"♪ let's get ready for school ♪"
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"One, two, three, four, five."
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"♪ let's get ready for school ♪"
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"One, two, three... four, five."
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"- Sylvia! - Yes?"
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"I made a roast."
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"Can you just put it in the refrigerator?"
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"- Yes. - And then 350 at 4:00?"
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"Hey, hey, hey, let's go."
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"Let's go!"
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"Was that your dad?"
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"Did your dad just go to work without saying good-bye?"
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"So I have a new idea."
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"Remember that kids book "Are you my mother"?"
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"- You're my mom." - Yeah, the little birdy."
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"sort of urban outfitters checkout line book,"
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"- I get it. - Yeah, big money."
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"Um, that's, like, called..."
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"Um..."
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"- Yeah, I'm on board. - Good, right?"
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"- All right. - Hi, dad."
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"I'm not touching it."
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"- Stop. Stop it. - Uh, all right."
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"Hands up, hands up, hands up."
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"Why do you always believe her?"
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"- Mom, mom, mom? - Oh, it's grandpa."
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"- Perfect. - Can you knock it off?"
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"- No. Mm-mm. - Are you kidding?"
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"- No, I'm serious. Just... - Like this? Like..."
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"- No. - So that..."
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"'Cause I want to continue with my knitting."
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"Is this sativa or indica?"
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"- Sativa. - Tell Barry..."
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"Are you serious?"
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"- That, uh, we need to... - God, stop talking."
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"... re-record my vocals on party fowl."
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"- Okay. - Hi."
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"- Should I hide the weed? - Yeah, it's my sister."
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"She's got keys, and yes, hide the pot,"
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"Hey, whoa."
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"Hello."
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"- Hi. - There's two of you."
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"- Sarah, wow. - What are you doing..."
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"I mean why are you... I thought your kid was older."
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"Oh, no that... that's Bianca. No, with... with my first wife."
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"Yeah, and Quinn and I, we... we split."
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"- Oh, I'm sorry. - No. No, no."
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"I'm married to Barb now, so..."
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"I'm giving it a... giving it another go around,"
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"who, uh... she just got booted out of the oaks."
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"and completely deserved it, but, you know."
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"What about you?"
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"and I'm married... to a guy."
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"- He's great. - Okay."
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"- Yeah, designer, actually. - Sorry, designer."
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"- But that's okay. - Really, that photo"
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"- was amazing. - You know, it's good."
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"It pays the alimony and the child support."
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"- We should get together. - Maybe a playdate."
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"- Yeah. - I'll put a muzzle on Gracie."
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"Oh, my God, please don't tell me you fucked 'em both"
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"because one of them is 17, so I'm not fucking her."
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"so I'm not fucking her either."
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"I'm actually making very sweet love to her,"
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"you know, just sort of like connective,"
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"spiritual, creamy, double-churned..."
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"No, don't talk to me like that."
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"Which one are you doing that creepy thing to?"
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"The one on the left with the hair."
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"- Hmm. - Their band's actually good."
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"- You would like them. - Oh, really?"
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"- Yeah, yeah. - What are they called?"
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"Glitterish."
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"- Glitterish? - Yes."
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"- Sounds like clitoris. - No, it doesn't."
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"This is the one where one woman stands in the back"
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"But it's actually really important to the sound."
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"- It is. - Very important to the sound?"
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"There's nothing in here."
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"You should get some, you know, what they like?"
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"Juice boxes and string cheese, treats for the kids."
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"- Are you done? - Have you talked to daddy?"
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"12 thou a year now."
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"Why?"
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"Tax purposes, you know."
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"- Hi. - Oh, oh, what is this?"
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"- Shotgun Willy's. - Mmm."
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"- What? No. Seriously? - Seriously."
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"Dad's not getting engaged."
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"- Yeah, Goldberg, Kaplan. - Two. Two Marcys."
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"Goldberg and Kaplan."
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"Marcy Fitzelfinerheinstein."
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"- Belsenberger? - Kristallnacht."
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"Seriously, do you really think it's cancer?"
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"- with the peanuts by the way? - Damn you, cancer."
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"- Yes, they do. - Fuck."
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"Who puts peanuts in coleslaw? Assholes."
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"My darlings. My beautiful, beautiful darlings."
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"Hi, dad."
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"Come on."
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"Um, maybe 'cause you guys spent your entire college years"
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"You guys were talking about adopting a kid together."
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"That did not happen."
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"- Wait, they're... - Salvadoran."
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