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Clips from Shameless - Frank the Plumber (S03E03)

"Good luck."
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"- [clears throat]"
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"If they say this, you say this."
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"- Okay."
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"[cell phone ringing]"
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"- Are you ready?"
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"I look weak. - It's gimp porn, babe."
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"You're supposed to look weak."
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"- Jeez, you sound like a woman."
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"When you were too young to defend yourself."
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"- Do you know how expensive a kid is, kev?"
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"Hey, fi."
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"- Hey, can you pop over to the house"
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"And see if debbie's there?"
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"I don't know if she's really sick"
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"- All right, I'll go check on her."
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"But you have to go to www.Dontcutitoff.Org."
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"- What? - I'm serious, fiona."
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"I want my son to get his share of head argument."
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"- Dontcutitoff.Org, promise. Promise!"
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"- Okay. Okay, okay. I'll do it. - All right, bye."
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"Oh."
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"Hi, this is fiona from worldwide cup."
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"Hope I can count on your vote."
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"- Can't you shut the baby up?"
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"- I could shove her up your ass and see if that does it."
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"- You need to learn respect for your elders."
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"- You need to learn to not be a total dickwad."
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"- I have a plan to put chicago back to work."
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"My wife and I got married after three weeks of dating,"
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"And she turned out to be a bipolar drug addict--easy--"
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"Who left me alone with six kids to raise,"
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"While my domestic partner,"
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"Mr. Christopher collier, is a clean and sober,"
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"Hardworking citizen of this country."
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"As a woman who would abandon her children."
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"- Thank you, sir. And I will consider your situation."
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"- Don't you turn your back on me."
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"I live in this city."
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"Which the law doesn't even allow, I might add,"
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"Which means for me, it's stand in the line"
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"At the free clinic or suffer."
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"It's flat out un-american."
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"I'm a citizen."
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"Where are my equal rights?"
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"[cell phone chimes]"
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"- I like this color."
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"Kind of cheers you up just looking at it, right?"
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"- Sometimes when you're feeling really bad,"
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"It can start to make you feel better on the inside."
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"My mom calls it taking it from the outside in."
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"- Debbie, you were just supposed to drop liam there."
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"Why aren't you at school? Are you sick?"
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"- Uh, code pink."
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"- Monica's home? - No, no, no."
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"Code pink at sheila's."
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"[sighs]"
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"- What's a code pink?"
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"I was just trying to explain to fiona"
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"Why I'm not at school."
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"- I didn't want to go anyway."
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"All anyone ever does is try to copy off me."
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"Everybody's mean. Middle school's stupid."
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"Mean girls suck."
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"- It's not your fault."
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"- But I'm her mother."
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"Then I'm pretty screwed, right?"
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"[both moaning]"
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"- Wow, I'm so glad my cock thrust up inside of you"
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"Is holding your attention so well."
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"- Sorry, I just-- I don't get it."
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"Why don't you just dump her?"
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"[both moaning]"
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"- Is mickey seriously getting married?"
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"- Yeah. Like, in a couple of weeks."
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"- Jesus. To who?"
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"I-I didn't even know he was seeing anyone."
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"- Well, I don't think he was seeing her"
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"So much as he was doing her."
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"- So why's he marrying her? - She's knocked up."
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"What, is your dad making him?"
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"- I don't know."
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"Why do you give a shit?"
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"My partner works for this city."
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"Which means for me, it's stand in line"
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"At the free clinic or suffer."
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"That's not only unfair and unchristian..."
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"- Holy shit. - It's flat out un-american."
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"- Frank? - You know him?"
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"- You could say that. He's my dad."
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"- I--wow, that speech."
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"Your father--I'm so sorry. I am so sorry."
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"- Turn back time? Why?"
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"- Some of the office bitches may have narc-ed on you"
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"- Porn at my desk?"
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"- Fiona. Hi."
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"So mr. Pratt is asking for a word with you."
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"- Let me guess. He's the boss? - No, no."
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"He's one of the cousins."
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"Not the big boss, but he is a supervisor, yes."
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"- Really, very sorry."
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"[knock at door] - yes?"
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"Um, go ahead and have a seat. Yep."
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"Go ahead, sorry."
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"So I've had some complaints about your language,"
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"A few personal calls on company time--"
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"- I have five kids."
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"They're my siblings, but I raise them."
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"And one of them skipped school."
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"But it was really only a couple minutes."
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"And I'm happy to clock out early and work late."
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"There were some photos."
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"It wasn't really porn."
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"It was pictures of penises,"
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"See, friends of mine are trying for a baby."
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"Circumcise the baby so that girls will be more likely"
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"To want to-- uh, with their mouths."
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"I mean once he's a grown-up."
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"- No, you're--[clears throat] sorry."
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"My silence here is not so much about disapproval"
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