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Clips from Shameless - Frank the Plumber (S03E03)

"As it is trying to find a way"
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"That won't leave me vulnerable to a lawsuit,"
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"'cause I would like to say that I am a little shocked"
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"To learn that, um, circumcision, or a lack thereof,"
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"Would affect a woman's willingness to--"
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"[clears throat]"
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"I can't say that."
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"I can't say anything, really."
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"I've said too much already."
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"- I'm so sorry. Please don't fire me."
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"- Deal. But, hey, I'm putting my foot down."
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"No more naked body parts at your desk for any reason."
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"[both laugh] - shit. Sorry."
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"- And watch your language, like you're in church."
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"- Got it. - And also,"
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"You're doing a great job."
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"You apparently convinced a high-volume customer"
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"That we thought we'd lost to re-up."
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"- Oh, yeah. Yeah."
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"- Well, anyway, great work. And keep it up."
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"Do me a favor. Don't go out there smiling."
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"You'll help me maintain that reputation as a hard-ass."
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"- No."
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"I really want one, though."
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"- [laughs] - hey. Mm-mm."
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"- Oh, sweet!"
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"That's $400."
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"Oh, and minus the free refills"
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"You've been giving your little boyfriend over there."
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"And you give him free refills."
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"- Phillip?"
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"Scott walker, m.I.T. Alumni rep."
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"- Right, yeah. Look, I'm sorry you came and waited,"
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"But I'm not interested."
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"- No. - Oh, that's too bad."
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"I was really curious to interview the kid"
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"- Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. I didn't plagiarize anything."
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"- She?"
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"I'm guessing she googled good speeches"
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"I hate boston. Red sox suck. - Okay."
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"It's unlikely you could have gotten in anyway."
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"- [laughs]"
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"Let me guess, you minored in psych,"
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"Thinking it would give you a leg up in business negotiations."
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"- You may have a 4.6, but you also required"
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"And competition is pretty intense if you require"
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"A full scholarship, which I'm guessing that you do."
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"And call me white trash while you're at it?"
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"- At this level. Jesus. Give me a fucking pen."
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"[cheering on tv]"
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"Why would you? Why? [sighs]"
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"My coworkers teased me so much"
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"I had to pretend that I was sick."
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"Then my mother called."
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"She almost had a cardiac episode she was so upset."
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"I only convinced her last year that I'm not gay."
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"It took me years, frank, years."
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"Why, frank, why?"
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"- The fuck are you talking about?"
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"- You told the world we're gay!"
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"It's all over twitter."
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"Are you gay? Are you, really?"
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"[phone ringing]"
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"- I am whatever I need to be at the time I need to be it."
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"Christ, write that down. - Ohh..."
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"Mom."
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"- Dude, I'm telling you, this is my car."
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"Hell, I still got the keys, man."
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"[both laugh]"
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"I found my stolen car, bitch."
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"- Well, what are you waiting for? Call the cops."
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"- I wouldn't do that if I were you. Sorry."
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"Cops keep it in evidence for, like, a year."
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"Plus, insurance already covered it,"
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"So this is, like, found money, bitch."
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"- Why is that man driving your car?"
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"- Because it's stolen. - You let him steal it?"
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"Back when life was fun and the world had meaning."
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"Maybe cut off a couple earlobes?"
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"- Saw you on the news, frank."
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"- Don't do it, kate. We don't need"
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"His aids germs in here. - Screw you, tommy."
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"- What is gay, kermit? Gay is a state of mind."
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"It is a mood."
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"- Gay is when you part the ass cheeks of another man"
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"And use your dick as a divining rod."
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"- Well, by that definition, no, then I'm not gay."
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"Talking about gay rights?"
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"- I was trying to get insurance coverage."
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"- Hey, frank, how do you fit three homos on a barstool?"
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"You turn it upside down!"
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"[laughter]"
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"This homophobic rhetoric"
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"And offer me recompense in the form of whiskey."
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"- You maxed out your tab, frank. - Hey."
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"What does one gay say to another one going on vacation?"
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"can I help you pack your shit?"
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"- Kermit, that joke is so hackneyed, you owe me a drink."
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"- What's the difference between a refrigerator and a fag?"
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"The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out!"
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"- [clears throat]"
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"Honestly, it's hard to pick one."
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"My 4.6 g.P.A.--"
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"- What would you want to study at m.I.T.?"
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"Provided you could get past my well-meaning oblivion"
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"But none of that undergrad filler bullshit."
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"- The shit?"
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"- I don't want to sit in a lecture that teaches me"
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"How to modify algorithms instead of think for myself."
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"- And?"
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"- Okay, the people working the weaving machines"
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"One invention: Industrial revolution."
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"I mean, encyclopedia britannica didn't see wikipedia coming."
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"You know, they happen when"
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"And all you geniuses, you just--"
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"You're just modifying algorithms."
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"- That dude's a badass."
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"You know, he's fluent in over"
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"6 million forms of communication."
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"- Give me the money."
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