Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Married with Children - Requiem for a Dead Barber (S03E03)

"Will they laugh in a salon when you say..."
Married with Children
""What do women and dog doody have in common?"
Married with Children
"The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.""
Married with Children
"Would they, Peg?"
Married with Children
"Probably not, Al."
Married with Children
"Then I'm not going,"
Married with Children
"and I'll tell you something else."
Married with Children
"I need a place that'll cut my nose hair."
Married with Children
"Tony would."
Married with Children
"He was the greatest."
Married with Children
"He'd really get in there."
Married with Children
"Will a salon cut my nose hair, Peg?"
Married with Children
"Probably not, Al."
Married with Children
"Then what are you gonna do, Al?"
Married with Children
"Die broke, Peg,"
Married with Children
"a real man,"
Married with Children
"a man who likes girls but hates women."
Married with Children
"Look at him, kids."
Married with Children
"He's worth a million dollars."
Married with Children
"Get a haircut, Al."
Married with Children
"I'm not getting a haircut until I find a barber."
Married with Children
"It's time, Al."
Married with Children
"and your nose hairs were going in and out"
Married with Children
"like a trombone."
Married with Children
"I'm afraid one day they're gonna reach out"
Married with Children
"and suck in one of the kids."
Married with Children
"Don't you think I want to get a haircut, Peg?"
Married with Children
"asking me if I like the new Dead album?"
Married with Children
"God knows they've taken everything else away from us"
Married with Children
"in the so-called name of progress."
Married with Children
"What do I care"
Married with Children
"if a monkey can make it to the top of a building?"
Married with Children
"Unless he's up there to throw off his wife,"
Married with Children
"it doesn't matter to me."
Married with Children
"I want flippers."
Married with Children
"I want steel balls,"
Married with Children
"and I want my barber, damn it!"
Married with Children
"Is he brain-dead?"
Married with Children
"And cartoons."
Married with Children
"Has anybody here seen cartoons lately?"
Married with Children
"No, we're grown up, Dad."
Married with Children
"Well, I have, and they stink."
Married with Children
"Peg, remember when a mouse"
Married with Children
"with a frying pan and flatten his head?"
Married with Children
"Now you know what they do?"
Married with Children
"and you know who's to blame?"
Married with Children
"Women and pacifists,"
Married with Children
"and you know where they go to make my life miserable?"
Married with Children
"Come on, family,"
Married with Children
"can't you get behind old Dad on this one?"
Married with Children
"Well, we can't get in front of you."
Married with Children
"Your nose hairs would spear us."
Married with Children
"That's it!"
Married with Children
"Now, I never thought this would happen to me."
Married with Children
"Life has taken everything else away from me."
Married with Children
"That's it."
Married with Children
"Wherever Tony is,"
Married with Children
"I hope they buried him face down"
Married with Children
"so he never has to live to see my shame"
Married with Children
"because Al Bundy..."
Married with Children
"Is gonna get washed... and blown."
Married with Children
"Come in. Come in."
Married with Children
"What can we do for you?"
Married with Children
"[YELLS]"
Married with Children
"Ooh, a first-timer."
Married with Children
"Now, sit down."
Married with Children
"Someone will be with you in a minute."
Married with Children
"they wouldn't raid the campsites."
Married with Children
"Yeah, that's what I think"
Married with Children
"about the White Sox."
Married with Children
"[PASSES GAS]"
Married with Children
"Hi."
Married with Children
"You get your hair done here too?"
Married with Children
"Ever since I could find an old man to pay for it."
Married with Children
"Do you like it?"
Married with Children
"Are you rich?"
Married with Children
"No."
Married with Children
"Oh."
Married with Children
"Hi. I'm Murphy."
Married with Children
"What can I do for you?"
Married with Children
"Do you know how to dance in a cage?"
Married with Children
"I mean, no, I need a haircut."
Married with Children
"Well, come with me."
Married with Children
"Now, my old barber used to charge a buck-25."
Married with Children
"How much are you guys?"
Married with Children
"$60."
Married with Children
"No, seriously."
Married with Children
"Ooh, aren't we woolly?"
Married with Children
"Yeah, you guys really aren't $60, are you?"
Married with Children
"Well, you know our motto,"
Married with Children
""People are suckers.""
Married with Children
"Oops."
Married with Children
"I'm not supposed to say that to the customers."
Married with Children
"Oh, well."
Married with Children
"Leave your head in our hands."
Married with Children
"We'll start with a nice scalp massage."
Married with Children
"Alrighty."
Married with Children
"My name's Bundy."
Married with Children
"Hey, you know, it was funny."
Married with Children
"I was kind of worried coming over here."
Married with Children
"Well, you know, not being a sissy or anything,"
Married with Children
"If I'd have known you were--"
Married with Children
"If I'd have known you were going to be doing me,"
Married with Children
"I'd have been here years ago."
Married with Children
"I wish you would have said that"
Married with Children
"when I was single."
Married with Children
"Mom, how long do we have to sit here"
Married with Children
"in the dark?"
Married with Children
"Until your father comes out of the bushes."
Married with Children
"He won't come in the house"
Married with Children
"unless he thinks we're sleeping."
Married with Children
"Well, what if he looks like a geek?"
Married with Children
"Can we laugh?"
Married with Children
"Kelly, he's your father."
Married with Children
"Of course we can."
Married with Children
"Oh, shh!"
Married with Children
"[GRUNTS]"
Married with Children
"Well, how do you like it?"
Married with Children
"You look like a fruit, Al."
Married with Children
"Thanks, Peg."
Married with Children
Show more clips