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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - Twelve Horny Women (S08E08)

"Lily, let it go. I didn't want to brag..."
How I Met Your Mother
"but I think it's time to acknowledge..."
How I Met Your Mother
"that I was the ultimate teenage badass of this group."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [All Chuckle] - You were a teen pop star in Canada."
How I Met Your Mother
"- You sang songs about the mall. - Hey!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Ooh, thanks."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Hey. - We've received some noise complaints, eh."
How I Met Your Mother
"Can you please lower the music?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sure."
How I Met Your Mother
"Sure. [Scoffs]"
How I Met Your Mother
"How about I, uh... I lower the TV too?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Three hours later, I was arrested..."
How I Met Your Mother
"drunk, naked and driving a Zamboni."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Judge] Please be seated."
How I Met Your Mother
"Mr. Morris, good seeing you this morning."
How I Met Your Mother
"Mr. Eriksen, you're here."
How I Met Your Mother
"Uh, well, Your Honor, um..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Actually, Your Honor, um, I'm afraid..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Your Honor, I call Brad Morris to the stand."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Murmuring] - Mr. Eriksen, this is highly irregular."
How I Met Your Mother
"- I would like Mr. Morris to remove his shirt. - I'll allow it."
How I Met Your Mother
"Objection, Your Honor, on grounds that this is ridonk!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Overruled. Take it off."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Whirring]"
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"Acute dermatitis..."
How I Met Your Mother
"courtesy of Frog Lake..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and Gruber Pharmaceuticals."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Sighs]"
How I Met Your Mother
"So, in the end, one might say you were forced to do something..."
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"rash?"
How I Met Your Mother
"[All Laughing]"
How I Met Your Mother
"You know, I had that one, but Lily told me to cut it."
How I Met Your Mother
""We, the jury, find Gruber Pharmaceuticals..."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Yes! - Ohh!"
How I Met Your Mother
"That tie is not only tasteful, it's lucky."
How I Met Your Mother
"I hereby fine Gruber in the amount of $25,000."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Court is adjourned. - [Gavel Raps]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Your Honor, 25,000? What just happened?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Son, yes, Gruber Pharmaceuticals probably polluted that lake..."
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"but I'm not gonna ruin an important company..."
How I Met Your Mother
"just because they gave some bird a rash."
How I Met Your Mother
"But it's thousands of birds and fish and otters and turtles..."
How I Met Your Mother
"I hate to cut you short, but I got tickets to Annie, and my wife is waiting."
How I Met Your Mother
"won-wonderful show to see?"
How I Met Your Mother
"The game is the game, and there ain't no winners."
How I Met Your Mother
"How many retired gangbangers you know?"
How I Met Your Mother
"[All Yelp]"
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"Barney. [Chuckles]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Check it out. I found my scrapbook from the old days."
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"We're busy right now. We're scaring kids straight, so we... No, no."
How I Met Your Mother
"Barney was the youngest member of our Magic Enthusiasts Club years back."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Famous for escaping from handcuffs. - Handcuffs, huh?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Very tiny hands."
How I Met Your Mother
"That was his secret. [Chuckles]"
How I Met Your Mother
"See you around, baby hands."
How I Met Your Mother
"So I was a late hand-bloomer."
How I Met Your Mother
"Go ahead, laugh."
How I Met Your Mother
"Laugh like all the others."
How I Met Your Mother
"But those magicians pulled off the greatest trick of all."
How I Met Your Mother
"They accepted me."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, well, to be fair..."
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"[Knocking]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, sorry!"
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"And I only used one washcloth. So, it's..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Congratulations, Miss Sparkles."
How I Met Your Mother
"On behalf of the Manitoba Hotel and Curling Rink Association..."
How I Met Your Mother
"we'd like to thank you for being the nicest, most well-behaved hotel guest ever."
How I Met Your Mother
"- What a loser! - Your story's not true either, is it, Ted?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Not at all."
How I Met Your Mother
"Make sure you get my good side, princess."
How I Met Your Mother
"I left the courthouse that day questioning what I was even doing with my life..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and then that night, I had a dream."
How I Met Your Mother
"What about your pebble theory, Dad?"
How I Met Your Mother
"One good deed ripples out and makes another and another?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother
"This is what really happens when you throw a pebble into Frog Lake."
How I Met Your Mother
"You're wrong. Some good's gonna ripple out of this, Dad."
How I Met Your Mother
"I promise."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Roaring]"
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"Oh, great. I've angered the Frog King."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Footsteps Approaching]"
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"[Brad] Hey."
How I Met Your Mother
"What, are you here to gloat?"
How I Met Your Mother
"For reminding me why I got into law in the first place..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Which is why I said "Hasta la-see-ya" to my firm."
How I Met Your Mother
"I took a job at your firm, bro beans."
How I Met Your Mother
"Don't "bro beans" me."
How I Met Your Mother
"My boss would never hire you after the way you lied to us."
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"I used against you guys and put it towards saving the world."
How I Met Your Mother
"Even if that's true, I'm still not sure that I can forgive you."
How I Met Your Mother
"Would you object to an 11:15 brunch rezzy for two tomorrow at the Popover Pantry?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I'll allow it."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yes! The brunch bros are back."
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"Seriously, thanks, for giving my soul a little redempsh."
How I Met Your Mother
"And B-T-dubs, that judge was an idiot."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's people like you..."
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"people with hope and vision and integ..."
How I Met Your Mother
"that should be behind that bench making the calls."
How I Met Your Mother
"And that's when I realized I wanted to be a judge..."
How I Met Your Mother
"And that's why I'm here before the New York State Judiciary Committee."
How I Met Your Mother
"I hope that you will consider me for an appointment to a judgeship."
How I Met Your Mother
"Thank you, Mr. Eriksen. The panel will take this under advisement."
How I Met Your Mother
"Take your time."
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"It could be a few months."
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"- Better tell my wife I won't be home for dinner. - Get out."
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"- Hey. - Hey."
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"- How are you? - Uh, great. You?"
How I Met Your Mother
"So gr... [Sighs]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Can we talk about this for a second?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah."
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"It is super weird between us, and I don't want it to be."
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"I'm done."
How I Met Your Mother
"You don't have to worry anymore."
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"What do you mean?"
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"I'm done trying to get you. I can't do it anymore."
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"I'm sorry it's taken me this long to figure it out, but I promise..."
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"I'm done making a fool of myself."
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"Barney, you haven't been making a fool out of yourself."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's okay. It's okay. I want it to be okay."
How I Met Your Mother
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