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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - Twelve Horny Women (S08E08)

"♪ ♪ [Whistling "Farmer in the Dell"]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Lily coming! Lily coming!"
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Tires Screeching] - [Horn Honking]"
How I Met Your Mother
"You look okay."
How I Met Your Mother
"Wanna hang out?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- My name's Jeff. - Not no more, it ain't."
How I Met Your Mother
"The one part of that story I believe..."
How I Met Your Mother
"is that Scooter only had three friends."
How I Met Your Mother
"The environmental lawyer we've come to know and love."
How I Met Your Mother
"He's mean. He's green."
How I Met Your Mother
"He's not wearing the tie I bought him for the trial, but I'm not gonna mention it."
How I Met Your Mother
"Marshall... I was gonna say "nice tie"...Eriksen!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, uh, I mean, at first that Brad thing had me rattled..."
How I Met Your Mother
"but now I feel pretty good."
How I Met Your Mother
"I mean, for one thing, I don't have massive hemorrhoids."
How I Met Your Mother
"More importantly, unlike Brad, I actually have something to fight for."
How I Met Your Mother
"Pop, because of your precedent-setting legal victory 14 years ago..."
How I Met Your Mother
"kids like me can fish in clean lakes all over the world."
How I Met Your Mother
"They sure can, champ."
How I Met Your Mother
"Because when you do one good deed..."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Pops Lips]"
How I Met Your Mother
"It creates a ripple effect."
How I Met Your Mother
"One good deed leads to another and another."
How I Met Your Mother
"That's probably why I never felt the need to do drugs or rebel in any way."
How I Met Your Mother
"- [Sighs] - Anyhoo."
How I Met Your Mother
"to support Uncle Marshall."
How I Met Your Mother
"Wanna know what I looked like at age 15? There it is."
How I Met Your Mother
"I don't get it. That guy wasn't masturbating."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, and the waistband of his undies wasn't pulled up to his Cub Scouts neckerchief."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ted, you were never a badass."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Au contraire. - Off to a good start."
How I Met Your Mother
"Let's just say Johnny Law was not a fan of Teddy West Side."
How I Met Your Mother
"You guys wanna talk about hassling the fuzz."
How I Met Your Mother
"Finish that, Scoots."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, let's see some I.D.'s."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Laughs]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Laugh, bitch."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Ha, ha! - I.D. Now. Both of you."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Sighs]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Which one of you is Yuki Hakutani?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Right here."
How I Met Your Mother
"So, Yuki, you're 6'1 ", and you were born in 1947?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Congratulations. You can read."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Screams]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Barney Stinson?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, if it isn't Warren Frankel..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Bailiff Warren Frankel, who knows me."
How I Met Your Mother
"You know, I almost didn't recognize you without handcuffs on."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, matured quite a bit since the old days."
How I Met Your Mother
"The only time I'm wearing handcuffs now is, uh, in the bedroom."
How I Met Your Mother
"Bondage. I get it."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, I have to run."
How I Met Your Mother
"Stay out of trouble."
How I Met Your Mother
"Badass."
How I Met Your Mother
"In summary, I will prove that Gruber Pharmaceuticals..."
How I Met Your Mother
"wantonly and knowingly polluted Frog Lake..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and, therefore, must pay restitution of no less than $25 million."
How I Met Your Mother
"Thank you."
How I Met Your Mother
"How's this for a fact?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Frog Lake is home to a buttload of frogs and birds."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's so polluted, why don't all those birds fly to a cleaner lake?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Or why don't the frogs just be like, "Hey, birds, can I catch a ride? Ribbit.""
How I Met Your Mother
"Oops. Seem to have dropped my pen."
How I Met Your Mother
"Objection. Your Honor, nobody needs this long to pick up a pen."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'll allow it."
How I Met Your Mother
"I mean, I've heard of Twelve Angry Men..."
How I Met Your Mother
"The jury is in love with him."
How I Met Your Mother
"During recess, one of those ladies raced across the hall..."
How I Met Your Mother
"to see if she could get a divorce."
How I Met Your Mother
"And I'm pretty sure there was some funny business going on under that judge's robe."
How I Met Your Mother
"What you guys saw Brad do was nothing."
How I Met Your Mother
"My girlfriend, Kara, broke up with me last night."
How I Met Your Mother
"[All] Ohh."
How I Met Your Mother
"She said I listen too much..."
How I Met Your Mother
"whatever that means."
How I Met Your Mother
"Can you believe this guy?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Really?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Do I even wanna see what I look like?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh. That's like super mean."
How I Met Your Mother
"So, Dr. Bedrosian..."
How I Met Your Mother
"you're saying that even if Gruber Pharmaceuticals' industry-leading drugs..."
How I Met Your Mother
"somehow seeped into Frog Lake..."
How I Met Your Mother
"they could actually be helping the otter population grow thicker coats of fur?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Absolutely."
How I Met Your Mother
"And for the older birds who maybe don't perform as well in the bedroom as they used to..."
How I Met Your Mother
"could actually be having healthier sex lives?"
How I Met Your Mother
"In my expert opinion... Yes?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Yes."
How I Met Your Mother
"So Gruber is giving these animals free medicine..."
How I Met Your Mother
"if we needed help in the bedroom, which I don't."
How I Met Your Mother
"But I realized if Brad could call a quack as his star witness..."
How I Met Your Mother
"then so could I."
How I Met Your Mother
"You'll get that in a second."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Meet Paddles, the duckling. - [Chirping]"
How I Met Your Mother
"- "Quack." - Continue."
How I Met Your Mother
"Why?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, because he was found in Frog Lake suffering from acute dermatitis."
How I Met Your Mother
"[All Gasp]"
How I Met Your Mother
"A painful, full-body rash caused by who?"
How I Met Your Mother
"For a brief, shining moment..."
How I Met Your Mother
"it looked like I might just win this thing, but then..."
How I Met Your Mother
"I took a field trip to this so-called polluted lake."
How I Met Your Mother
"If you'll indulge me, I'd like to share my experience."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Click]"
How I Met Your Mother
"♪ ♪ [Saxophone]"
How I Met Your Mother
"[Brad Narrating] Frog Lake."
How I Met Your Mother
"Behold nature's beauty."
How I Met Your Mother
"Polluted?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Polluted with good times."
How I Met Your Mother
"Frog Lake. Come on in."
How I Met Your Mother
"Water's fine."
How I Met Your Mother
"♪ You're crazy ♪ ♪"
How I Met Your Mother
"I shot and edited that myself."
How I Met Your Mother
"Sorry, Ms. Aldrin, there's no rap sheet under your name."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, you know what?"
How I Met Your Mother
"It must be under my street tag... Numbah One Gunna."
How I Met Your Mother
"Nope."
How I Met Your Mother
"Sorry, Number One Gunner. Next!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Those jive-ass turkeys must have lost it."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, they're pretty swamped arresting 1970s pimps like yourself."
How I Met Your Mother
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